Fed up with DP led late nights - is this normal?

[SaraW92]

A rough timeline of a normal evening in our house is as followed:

-6.15/30 - cook for and feed our DC (1 year old)
-7/7.30 - prepare/cook and eat our dinner (often not ready until closer to 8)
-8.15/30 - DC’s night time routine
-8.30-10 - downstairs watching TV
10 - up to bed, DP watches tablet until close to midnight, I try and sleep c10.30 after scrolling phone.

Main gripes are that we eat our dinner so late (same time as pre DC so not that to blame) and that DP watches the tablet for so long (with headphones in and again same as pre DC) I have an eye patch but find it hard to get to sleep.

Is this a fairly normal timeline or am I reasonable to suggest it’s all a bit too late (ignoring DC routine, that’s just in for context).

I am up in the week at either 7 (office day) or 8 (WFH) for work.

Opinions welcome!

We have our dinner at 6pm. If DH doesn't like it ... He eats it later.

Why does your DP preference override the other 2 people?

Tell him, dinner is now going to be at 6:30pm.

I wouldn't have the patience to cook two different meals each day- bugger that!

Eat earlier and get DC off to bed early. Why make life so difficult for yourself?

This is insane! Just go to bed when you like. Why do people insist on making their partner match their bedtime?! So controlling and weird.

Anyway, you won't be able to hear him moaning at you if you're in bed.

Well, DP might just have to change, mightn’t he! Why should everything revolve around his "preference"?

Surely at some point you intend to start eating dinner together as a family, but 8pm or even 7:30 will be much too late for a young child.

Why does your DP’s preferrence trump your baby’s and yours, especially since you’re the one cooking the two meals. If your partner has such strong preferences then can they either reheat what you and your baby eat when they’re ready, or cook for themselves later.

Side notes I’m not sure what you mean by seasoning. Babies can’t have too much salt but they can eat seasoned food otherwise.

DP can scroll on his iPad somewhere else.

Why not just eat with DC? I am starving by 5, I’d hate to wait so long…

eat together earlier, so much better for dc, at one they don’t need special food. Will give you more time

(Yes babies should have limited salt but so should we! Other seasonings are just fine, mine were eating curries, chillies etc by 1

Why? This doesn't make sense. At present the ba y seems to be asleep until around7.30am. Why on earth would she put the child to bed early and risk it being awake at5.30 instead. Only seen the British have this putting kids to be really early so they away at the crack of dawn scenerio

I don't understand how you are all cooking and eating by 5.30 to 6. Aren't most people only finishing work around then?

I haven't had a young child for years but when my DD was at nursery I didn't pick her up until 6 and then when she started school she would eat at her childminders.

I assume that wfh and covid has changed these things somewhat but I still have to work until 6 on some days so the effect is the same.

Having said that I agree that the op could eat with her baby and keep a portion aside for her DP if it's too early for him to want to eat.

I find it v odd that people are wanting to go to bed at 9pm every night when they are not up till 7 / 7.30am

If I were the other half of that partnership I wouldn't find it v pleasant sitting by myself night after night on my own

It seems lot of the posters who've commented don't work?

I work full time. I leave the house at 8am & I'm home sometime between 6 / 6.30. I cook dinner & we eat between 7.30 & 8pm but more generally 8pm.

Dh cleans up the kitchen & I sort laundry / work clothes / my lunch for work. We're usually sitting down by 9pm & we chat & watch a series together..or we read etc until 11ish. That down time is v important.

We both shower before bed so one of us is in the bathroom the other one sorts out the cat & locks up etc

We're usually in bed by 11.15 / 30.

It looks as if your baby isn’t going to bed until after you’ve eaten your dinner, so it would make sense to eat with the baby. Your partner will either need to be more flexible and eat with you guys, or he’ll have to heat his up/make his own later on. It will be good for your baby to have mealtimes together as sociable family time.
Wrt him scrolling in bed, I’d probably prefer that compared to him waking you up around midnight getting into bed. Do you have a spare room where he could sleep, although appreciate that’s not ideal?

I work from home but have to be finished by 5 as that’s when my child care ends. If I need to do any more work I have to do it after the children are in bed.

Modelling eating together at a time that suits your children is important for social skills and communication. DP needs to be his preferences aside in favour of good parenting.

Yes!!! We have separate rooms, it's wonderful.
DP was initially against it until I pointed out I get up at 5 3/4 days a week including weekends and that I snore and flop about like a walrus. Also I'm messy and he isnt. both sleep much better apart.

Why is your dp going to bed at 10pm if he isn't going to sleep until 12? That's the only issue I see. My dp goes to bed late but we have a no laptops in the bedroom policy, so neither of us watch stuff in bed.

Indeed and I do, close to 10pm while he naps on the sofa.

I have no idea what time he brings himself up to bed.