Friend having cosmetic surgery - why oh why ?

[bagpuss90]

My friend was so naturally pretty - I’d say actually stunning. I hadn’t seen her for a few months. We met up this weekend. I was shocked - she’s had cosmetic surgery and it frankly looks awful . She tells me she’s having more . She said her sister is dead against it but she thinks her sister is jealous as she can’t afford it herself. I’m with her sister It’s quite upset me - she just no way needed it. I hope her self esteem wasn’t so low that she felt this would help. I think she was upset because I didn’t comment on it - but I just couldn’t think of anything positive to say. It’s none of my business - I’m just concerned that’s all .

YANBU. I think a lot of the 'you just think it looks awful because you disapprove of it' brigade have it assbackwards. I don't think it looks awful because I disapprove of it. I disapprove of it because I think it looks awful! Then you get the 'you only notice the botched ones, the good ones just make you look like you, but better'. Um, no. If that were the case, Nicole Kidman, Kylie Jenner, and a whole host of other celebrities who have access to the very best would look absolutely amazing. Frankly, they don't. Kidman looks like Uncanny Valley and Jenner looks about 47. These are two examples of celebrities who haven't been 'botched' (so not like Katie Price or Leslie Ash when her lip filler went haywire) but they still don't look good imo.

You can parrot until someone throws you a cracker but the OP still hasn't interfered by not commenting.

In the case of the example I gave, she’s blinded by distaste. Along the lines of saying the woman was ‘glowing’ but then when she was told she had a nose job, suddenly she looks malformed. 🤣

But you’re right, in general it can be any number of things and opinions that make people think it’s ‘awful’. I don’t think OP’s friend will take well to any concern or ‘truths’, OP didn’t even know she was getting this done so I wouldn’t think it’s her place to get involved as they don’t seem close. Personally I’d just not get involved.

😂

Personally I don’t care what anyone else does to their face. All I know is that I’m too vain to have mine touched. I really like my face and would never risk spoiling it.

Talking of interfering...

I agree but it's a chance for women to take a dig at plastic surgery, by calling women deformed looking.

Agreed! Just an excuse for a bitchy thread unfortunately

She's making a judgement. If she wasn't interfering, she wouldn't have started the thread. It's got nothing to do with her.

I think I’d take the approach of not saying anything at all if it looked awful. I’d also not proffer an opinion if asked.

Love how starting a thread on MN is now interfering. 🙄

If asked for an opinion, I would probably lie. Cowardly but that's what I did recently, with a work colleague who had a full facelift. I mean what else could I do, say "Oh you spent thousands and you looked better before?".

I just smiled and said " You look great".

Judging a woman's choice with what she does with her body is interfering if you start a thread about it under the guise of caring. 🙄There are some very defensive posters on this one. I wonder why.

Yes and you only have to see how defensive the comments are to my initial post!

I expect this is one of the many frequent posts where OP never returns, anyway.

Whether or not the thread is bitchy thats not what interfere means

Ah right, so it's more important to dissect the word "nterfere", than it is to show disapproval at bitchy comments about women's looks. Got it.

It's a simple word but it's clear a tiny number of people don't understand its meaning.

Interfering means to intervene in a situation. Totally different from starting an anonymous discussion about it which the person in question likely won’t see and won’t know it’s about her anyway. I don’t think I’d have started a thread, mind. But it’s not interfering to do so.

OK, I will swap the word with bitching.

That works. Totally changes the tone and meaning of your first comment though.

obsessed with the beef happening above

I still stand by it. OP and her oh so innocence, while saying her friend looked awful. Give her a pat on the back for not commenting. It's got naff all to do with her. Worried for her, yeah right.

Have you ever had any friends @Dangermoo and if so, have you never worried about them?

If she doesn’t interfere with what her friend has done then how is she interfering.

If your friend butchered herself , truly objectively butchered herself and you made an anonymous post voicing your concern would you consider yourself bitching or concerned?

What of your friend made some very dangerous lifestyle choices that worried you would you consider that bitching as well?

do you actually have friends? Do you care about them?