To want DH to stop sulking over bloody BBQ?

[NotQuiteRightToday]

Right. So DH had this whole plan for a BBQ today cos weather’s been half decent and he got all excited like it’s a major event (he does this every flippin year). Told everyone to come round, made a WhatsApp group and everything. Said he’d “handle it all” and told me not to interfere (ha).

Fast forward to today – wakes up in a mood cos it’s a bit overcast and wind’s picked up. Starts muttering about the charcoal being damp and how “nobody appreciates the effort”. I told him to just stick some bangers on and stop whining. DS (3) then knocked over the pack of burger buns and that tipped him over the edge. Now he’s sat in the conservatory sulking and scrolling on his phone like a stroppy teen. Refused to come out when my sister and her lot turned up.

I ended up sorting it all, flipping sausages while trying to keep DD (9 months) from eating leaves. Everyone was lovely but a bit awkward cos DH was being a right mardy sod. He came out right at the end to put his “special chicken” on the grill and acted like he’d hosted the whole thing.

Now he’s washing up like he’s some sort of hero and muttering about how he’ll “never bother again”. I haven’t said much cos honestly I’m knackered and can’t be arsed.

AIBU to want to shake him and tell him it’s just a BBQ, not the bloody FA Cup final? Or should I just let him sulk and crack on? Feel like I’m parenting an extra child tbh.

I would say "Right DH just to clarify - you refused to talk to the guests you invited and left me to host and cook and parent. Now you're huffing about washing up as though you've done everything for everyone. Pull yourself together, I'm standing for any more whining and moaning".

He sounds like just another man-child who believes that if you don't produce the greatest BBQ since the Great Fire of London, everyone will think you have a very small penis.

Your mistake was sorting it all out for him.
He's sulking and refusing to come out? Fine, I'd have sent everyone home or gone out with my sister and left the manchild to his sulking.

What is it about some men and bbqs? They seem to think that they are the second coming by doing a perfect Barbie.

My dad was exactly the same, though fair play to him, he did all the prep such as home made burgers and chilli sauce and what not.

However, by the end of the night he was so pissed up, I usually had to finish the cooking. My mum would have also been drunk off her ass

This, plus next time he even mentions having a barbecue, say 'oh, I'll be out with Random Friend that day'. Have nothing to do with it.

Ltb x

Doctor Wifey prescribes a dose of Man The Fuck Up.
Is he a mensch or a stench?

Gie yersel a shak ye pathetic prick.
As said in Scotland 😁

Stop fixing his bullshit and his BBQ.

A little dirt makes for extra minerals. Sheesh.

Another pathetic man.

Ah I get that's it's always disappointing when you're really hoping for good weather and it doesn't happen. Especially when you're planning a garden party. But it's how you handle that disappointment that shows who you are.
You can't strop off, you have to make do with what you've got. We all know what the weather in the UK is like, yes you can be disappointed but you can't be surprised.

He sounds like a stroppy 10 year old, not an adult
How do you live with this nonsense?

Oh God, I can't stand it when men want it to be everyone else's fault when life doesn't go exactly the way they envisage. Slightly less than optimal weather for a BBQ is a very normal thing to happen. It's nobody's fault. How that's handled gives the measure of the person. Your DH is a petulant child.

Sorry to ask this OP, but why have you married a manchild?

You sound like a normal person. Why have you done this?

@NotQuiteRightToday firstly really enjoyed reading your post - so colourfully and well written! Re your DH, sounds like he has form for this and personally I would have let him show himself up. You already had two very young children to care for and as people were turning up (since they were all family/close friends so would have been no ‘damage’ as it were caused), would have just directed them to him to ask when he was going to pull himself out his sulk and actually start hosting the damn thing he’d promised them! I certainly wouldn’t have stepped in for him. Honestly you sound amazing but men like this just give me the ick. Stop treating him like a third child and get him to own his own stuff fully!

Ignore the pillock til he comes round then tell him you agree totally never to bother again sounds just perfect to you.Then tell him he is a bloody embarrassment and you are ashamed of him. Then take yourself off to bed for a much needed rest and leave him to it.

Barbecues had form for bringing out the worst in my parents. They argued every time over trivial shit like hot plates or cold plates, went to absurd lengths with fancy salads and side dishes but cooked the same old dull crap (sausages, chicken pieces and burgers) every time and frequently got pissed and stroppy. One time I well remember, Dad got so arsey and bad-tempered that most of the guests - mainly my siblings and plus-ones - left early. He snapped that he was offended and that 'they' were bloody ungrateful.

Silly old bastard.

I hate barbecues now.

Tell him you've never found wanted him more

@L00pyLou Sorry but your last post doesn't make any sense. Perhaps a word too many?

Jesus! Glad I’m single

Urgh, he's giving me the ick

He didn't come out until the end, omg I would be mortified and fuming. Is he not totally embarrassed by his own behaviour?

Yet another marriage to a manchild.

It's sad.......

he'll never bother again? Crack open the champagne!

Be grateful he’s doing the dishes and let it go. Also he’s said he’s never doing it again so no need for a postmortem.