To want DH to stop sulking over bloody BBQ?

[NotQuiteRightToday]

Right. So DH had this whole plan for a BBQ today cos weather’s been half decent and he got all excited like it’s a major event (he does this every flippin year). Told everyone to come round, made a WhatsApp group and everything. Said he’d “handle it all” and told me not to interfere (ha).

Fast forward to today – wakes up in a mood cos it’s a bit overcast and wind’s picked up. Starts muttering about the charcoal being damp and how “nobody appreciates the effort”. I told him to just stick some bangers on and stop whining. DS (3) then knocked over the pack of burger buns and that tipped him over the edge. Now he’s sat in the conservatory sulking and scrolling on his phone like a stroppy teen. Refused to come out when my sister and her lot turned up.

I ended up sorting it all, flipping sausages while trying to keep DD (9 months) from eating leaves. Everyone was lovely but a bit awkward cos DH was being a right mardy sod. He came out right at the end to put his “special chicken” on the grill and acted like he’d hosted the whole thing.

Now he’s washing up like he’s some sort of hero and muttering about how he’ll “never bother again”. I haven’t said much cos honestly I’m knackered and can’t be arsed.

AIBU to want to shake him and tell him it’s just a BBQ, not the bloody FA Cup final? Or should I just let him sulk and crack on? Feel like I’m parenting an extra child tbh.

Why should she be ‘grateful’ he’s doing the dishes? She did pretty much everything else!

Gosh, do people have perfect husbands or partners who never show a negative emotion?

He's feeling sorry for himself and mopping about, leave him to it OP and hopefully he'll come round.

There was a thread not long ago about sulking, lots of posts saying they sometimes sulk for no reason and their poor partners have to guess what's wrong.

If he can laugh at himself OP, let it go. If it's a continuous sulk that brings everyone else down, then tell him to snap out of it.

Ugh. Next time don't "end up" doing a damn thing; sit on your backside and scroll on your phone. Or take the baby and go to see a friend or something. He won't stop acting like an infant until you stop acting like his mum.

I think I would have informed the guests there was not going to be a BBQ because DH didn't think it possible due to the wind. Then I would've put the perishables in the fridge and/or freezer. And then I would've sat together with the guests and decided about pizza, kebab or curry .... to be delivered 😄

That's why you always have an 'indoors if wet' plan b.

Take the bbq to the tip. After all, he said ‘never again’. And as the man child of the house, what he says goes.

This. Why did you save the day? I’d have left. He sounds insane.

Yikes I would be so embarrassed if DP pulled this stunt 🥴

So you ended up doing all the work for him?

Is he normally like this??

Hilarious!

He literally abandoned his guests at an event he’d arranged and left his wife to do everything while wrangling the children? Because it was a bit overcast??

He wasn’t just a bit disappointed but soldiered on and made the best of it like a grown-up 😂

You have got to be fucking joking

Next time, order pizza. Don’t work it out for him. And he can look after a 9 mo while he sulks if you’re working hard. Weirdo.

Men get really pissy about bbqs and I just don’t understand it. I mean I love cooking, love a nice bbq and I have a vagina and boobs and yet every man I’ve ever invited to a bbq insists they will “show me how it’s done” and then get scared when they rock up and see that I have a very decent bbq AND I only cook on charcoal. They almost always seem to resign themselves to having to put up with it and get even more moody when it’s not just sausages or burgers and that can I actually COOK and is better than anything they can produce.

but it’s not a big thing, I used to run a commercial 100 cover restaurant. Why do they feel so threatened? I just don’t get it. But long story short, as a woman I’ve got the biggest BBQ-ing dick in my home town friendship group 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

this is exactly what I would have done.
"Hi. No, I don't know when we're eating - DH has been on top of all the planning and organising.... <call up stairs>... DH, guests are here, what's the plan for the BBQ".

I can't believe you've put up with this shit.

@OnyourbarksGSG as a South African, something I have really struggled with here is that at home, as a rule, the men all CAN BBQ. Then I came here and all the men ACT the same as South African men, but they almost always mess it up... usually because they let the coals get too cold before they start cooking. It's very frustrating!

Did you tell him loudly so the guests could hear, 'Everyone's here time for you to get the bbq going.' Were there any men you could have sent in to rattle his cage, brother, BIL, etc, 'Thought you were cooking'. So embarrassing to have someone act like that at a party, I would have been furious.

@MattCauthon some of the best bbq I’ve had had was at a braai hosted by friends from SA. And even then it was like a constant one-upmanship from the Brits and in reality they can’t even toast bread or light more than 4 candles on a cake.

Let him sulk. Ignore him.you can't reason with a man-child.