To find preparing 3 meals a day an absolute grind

[Bobbinwinding]

Just a vent.

I am just so absolutely sick of the relentlessness of having to plan, prepare and clear up three meals, day in, day out.

One DC is vegetarian, the other has a very restrictive diet. Literally the only foods they both eat are eggs, cheese, pasta, bread, yogurt and apples. That doesn’t leave many meals that can feed them both so I’m usually making something separate for each of them.

DH is a workaholic with some hang-ups about food/weight and will impulsively decide he doesn’t want dinner after I’ve already plated it up.

I’m perimenopausal and increasingly having to watch what I eat.

I used to adore cooking, browsing recipe books snd meal planning. But the daily grind of either trying to come up with something everyone will eat or making different meals for everyone is driving me to despair.

No one appreciates it. I feel constantly guilty about whether anyone has had 5 a day or too many UPFs or sugar or whatever were being told will kill us this week.

Can anyone relate? Any tips to make it more bearable?

I would have sympathy with the ND child wanting something plain/restrictive. But I’m guessing they’d probably be happy with the same simple meals day in day out. Maybe you could batch cook or pre prep multiple identical meals for them and it takes away the thinking?

Vegetarianism would get short shrift here - especially at 8 years old! - and so would DH food hangups.

I never cook breakfast, it’s cereal toast or yoghurt, plenty of options for toppings/nuts/seeds etc

Unless kids are under 6 surely they can shake a bit of cereal into a bowl. Lunch can be a sandwich or wrap and an apple. Cook once a day. Personally I'd cook one meal a day with protein whether that be chicken breast/Quorn fillet, with carbs be that potatoes/rice/pasta/couscous and vegetables x 2. Serve with a bit of French stick and they can choose to eat or leave. Next day served pizza with meat/vegetable topping and a salad. They eat it or leave it. Give fruit or yoghurt for dessert. Same each day. Chose one meal plus veggie option to go with it and serve. The longer you run around cooking various meals the more they will expect it. As a back up have home made vegetable soup for lunch once or twice a week everyone can eat with crusty bread.

I agree with you. If I'd told my parents I was vegetarian when I was 8 I would have been told to make my own meals, or pick out the meat bits from whatever it was mum had cooked. There was no way I would ever have expected her to cook a special meal for me/my siblings. It's crazy how many parents go down that route these days (putting to one side the issue of actual medical issues like food allergies etc).

Totally agree with you! This is pretty much what we had when we were kids - and typically mum would cook things that would work for a couple of meals - just add a load of veggies/salad (and a bit of bread and butter if still hungry).
(Mum was a mega star - she would often make a pudding of some kind - but that was easy stuff like apple crumble/pie depending on what was in season...always from scratch - and she had a full time job running her own company - total legend!)

Breakfast and lunch can be really easy/simple.
Dinner a bit more tricky.
Do you work?
I hear you OP. I used to love planning meals, preparing them. Now it’s just a horrible grind.

If you could all sit together weekly and plan the meals together, then you could batch cook on the weekend with everyone's help/on the day with the kids help.

I feel your pain op

My approach is to keep it simple, which is easier for me, because I do 99% of the cooking!

So it's a lot of soups, stews, pies, cook once eat twice meals (i.e. chilli and rice one night, chili wraps the next).

DH loves bbqing so he'll do a steak/chicken fillet/skewer or whatever and I'll do a salad/sides.

I used to love trying new recipes, now I just CBA

I do double batches of the following and reheat:

Soups
Chilli
Bolognese (ubiquitous on MN haha)
Mashed potato
Couscous - eat it warm, then do a salad out of the leftovers
Jacket potatoes
I also do boiled new jerseys, then I have them in the air fryer for lunch with a bit of oil

Vegetarian can research meals that everyone can eat and depending on age, cook a bit or at least meal prep. If restrictive diet child is on it for medical reasons fair enough but if just picky, they eat whatever the meal is or whatever part of it they choose. Husband can cook a number of times a week.
Meal planning gets me down too sometimes but you are adding to your burden by accepting this situation. It is in your power to change this. Be assertive, tell everyone what’s happening and give them enough notice.

What kind of pasta options will the child with sensory issues tolerate?

What about potato options? I notice they don't feature in your list of safe foods - wedges jacket potatoes, mash, roast potatoes etc? Rice? Noodles?

I was a child who didn't like mixed food because I couldn't handle finding a texture or a lump of some sort that I wasn't expecting. What fixed it for me was making/mixing myself things I wouldn't eat if someone else had made it. That way I knew every single thing that had gone in it and that nothing unexpected was going to make a random appearance.

I can still be a bit funny about things now - for example I wouldn't dream of eating a roast veg cous cous made by a shop or someone else but would happily eat one I had made myself. Might be worth getting the eldest involved in the cooking if that might help a bit with e.g pasta sauces.

I sometimes worry that my kids aren't getting enough protein so I hard boil half a dozen eggs every few days and they are directed to those for snacks along with apples.

What would your ideal meals be if you didn't have to worry about anyone else?

They can do their own breakfasts and lunch. Let them choose a cereal each in the weekly shop along with sandwich fillings, yoghurts and a selection of fruit. Buy pre sliced cheese to make sandwich making easier. Cheese or ham sandwich with a yoghurt and fruit isn’t awful and I’d have no guilt about them having that every day! That should only leave dinners. Not massively exciting but to make life easier I’d agree a weekly meal plan that everyone is mostly happy with e.g. Monday omlette (choose your own toppings) with oven chips for the kids and salad for you and DH, Tuesday is a veggie pasta dish and fussiest kid can have it without sauce etc. etc. DH should step up to cook twice a week as/when it’s best with his work schedule.

Why are you cooking 3 meals a day? Surely everyone is capable of preparing their own food, especially if they’re fussy. Just don’t do it.

Key point here is how old are the kids ?
If they're older tell them they can cook their own meals if they have issues with food.
If they're younger do a batch cook and freeze portions.
And tell your husband you're not cooking for him any more if he's going to do this.
Having said all this it's only what our mums used to do every day without question. Only in my day you ate what was put in front of you or you went hungry. There were no issues around food .
They're so bloody precious now.

Did op mention if she is working? If she isn't, or is part time, maybe this is why she is feeling obliged.

Sympathise with you op, it isn't easy. The tastes of my dcs are forever changing. I have to blend their pasta sauces so they get veg, one especially won't eat it chunky, even if tender. The little one will eat some buttery soft carrots, but you're talking a little bite, nothing substantial. I batch cook and prep a load of premade sauces in tubs, makes life easier, and eases guilt. I can stick on some pasta, defrost a little tub and know they're getting about 6 vegetables! Tonight it worked well, and dh and I had all of the veg with the pasta meal I made tonight, and the dcs had one of their sauces with theirs.

I always tell dh when dinner is ready, he won't eat much through the day, and would never decline it. That's awful, I wouldn't be cooking for your dh, if he is doing this. I'd tell him, "I'm making dinner for 5.30pm etc, are you wanting any?"

So no one apart from you can sort food. My 7 year old dgs can make cereal and toast.

Op mentioned neuro diversity/sensory issues.

I'm just over meal planning and food prep in general with my 17&14yr old.

The amount of times I have been asked whats for lunch is unreal. Lunch is not a three course meal. It's a sandwich, some pasta, a jacket potato or whatever you can find in the freezer. It's not a three course meal and this isn't a restaurant or cafe.

Dinner is whatever I make and if you don't like it maybe suggest something else when I have asked you every friday what you want for dinners the following week so I can do the food shop and you reply with "don't know".

Sensory issues don’t stop someone learning how to make their own breakfast and lunch - and if a child is old enough to chose vegetarianism they are old enough to do basic food

do you work ?

Bullshit isn’t it!? I finally had enough and made my husband cook (and decide what to cook) 2 nights per week. Then Fridays we have a takeaway with shop bought pizzas for the kids(I know! Whatever). Sat burgers and chips. Cook together on a Sunday so that’s only 3 nights I have to think about. I can actually enjoy cooking again. Man needs to step up!

I'm with you, it's knackering.

I doubt that!

Mum always made my dads cheese sandwiches on Sunday then froze them, they acted as a cool pack for his lunchbox as she got them out in the morning.
you can do that with the crappy ham too, then all you habe to do is make your own healthy ones.

She said one of the kids isn't safe around the kitchen though? Do you have ND child? It isn't always that simple.

Can you take some of the pressure off and ask that everyone gets their own breakfast (AND clears away after). Maybe batch cook a few recipes and freeze, so you're not cooking every day. Finally, if finances allow, can you get DH to agree to a delivery once a week?

Even the husband?