To find preparing 3 meals a day an absolute grind

[Bobbinwinding]

Just a vent.

I am just so absolutely sick of the relentlessness of having to plan, prepare and clear up three meals, day in, day out.

One DC is vegetarian, the other has a very restrictive diet. Literally the only foods they both eat are eggs, cheese, pasta, bread, yogurt and apples. That doesn’t leave many meals that can feed them both so I’m usually making something separate for each of them.

DH is a workaholic with some hang-ups about food/weight and will impulsively decide he doesn’t want dinner after I’ve already plated it up.

I’m perimenopausal and increasingly having to watch what I eat.

I used to adore cooking, browsing recipe books snd meal planning. But the daily grind of either trying to come up with something everyone will eat or making different meals for everyone is driving me to despair.

No one appreciates it. I feel constantly guilty about whether anyone has had 5 a day or too many UPFs or sugar or whatever were being told will kill us this week.

Can anyone relate? Any tips to make it more bearable?

Completely agree. Thinking what to get. Buying it. Making it. Clearing up after it. Over. And over. And over.

Preparing 3 meals a day i struggle to make 1 a week.
I live out of packets and the fridge easy food grab and eat.

How old are your children?Mine all sorted out their own breakfast and lunch once at secondary school. My daughter who is vegetarian also preferred to prep her own evening meals aged 14 onwards .

DC are 10 and 8. 10yo (the restrictive eater) has ADHD and ASD and is a bit of a walking disaster in the kitchen. When time allows I’m trying to teach him a bit more independence but on school days it’s a mission to get him out of the house with his clothes on the tight way round let alone adding any other complication.

I’m only doing basic stuff for breakfast (cereal etc), but even then they don’t like the same thing.

Lunches are often just sandwiches but it’s still usually 3 different fillings as one DC only eats crappy packet ham, the other only cheese and I want something healthier.

Agree with the others you don’t need to make breakfast or lunch.

breakfast is fruit/yoghurt/cereal
lunch is cheese/bread/salad veg/picky bits

means you are only cooking dinner.

then you can do stuff that either assembles in different ways or people choose their own:

make your own pizza so they choose toppings
sausages chips and peas (easy 20 minute meal)
plain pasta with supermarket sauce (choice of two)
hot dogs and salad
burgers and salad
plain noodles with separately stir fried veg and separate sauce
fajitas with guacamole, refried beans and two types of filling - one plain chicken/quorn and one spicy

Yes I hear you! And I have ADHD myself and am just allergic to routines and planning which doesn’t help.

Pre-DC I would enjoy improvising and experimenting and cooking was something I looked forward to. Now it just feels like a ball and chain.

I’d do this if I didn’t have kids. The most effort I’d make is assembling a sandwich.

I understand. But your 8 year old can start preparing their own food for breakfast and lunch and then at least it is getting a bit easier for you.

when the kids were younger I’d leave the cereal on the counter and put the milk in a wee pitcher for them. They would make it themselves. Could also do cereal bars so no prep at all?

No she's referred to breakfasts and lunches which makes it even worse

Thing is even the simplest meals seem to involve too much headspace! Hotdogs make a regular a regular appearance here, which about the simplest meal imaginable - but that’s still two different types of hotdogs to cater for the veggie and then there’s preparing some kind of veg sticks /salad to sit alongside to assuage my guilt about all the UPFs. And i’m not touching hotdogs myself so I’m doing something completely different for me/DH.

yes that’s crazy.
My kids are a little older. They get their own breakfast - porridge/cereal/toast
lunch - sandwich/noodles/whatever
dinner - the only one I actually have to think about.

I hear you. I love cooking but I hate the daily grind of feeding everyone, I also have 2 ND DC with food issues and also almost nothing I can make that everyone will eat. A good day is only 2 separate meals for dinner.
Breakfast and lunch are pretty ad hoc but often still involve me faffing about at random times because they cannot cope with sorting themselves out a lot of the time.

Some really good advice. Completely agree if your DC are old enough, they should be doing more. When my DC are old enough, I intend they should have a day each where they are responsible for dinner for everyone (with support from me where needed). My mother did this with us and it meant I arrived at university able to cook.

Also, why are you making lunches for everyone? If they are school aged beyond infants (or husband aged) can they have school lunches or make it themselves? Breakfasts should be very little work. Maybe something nice at the weekend if you it fancy and have time. Otherwise toast and healthy low sugar cereals older children can get themselves, at most omelette, porridge or similar, but only if you want to make these.

We have a fussy DC, I am pescatarian (mostly vegetarian) and need a low GI diet. My husband eats meat. It is a pain, but mostly my husband eats vegetarian so we can eat the same meal, but we often flex the protein source so he can have some meat on the side too or there is a meat and a veggie option if we are doing a roast ect. Also change the carbs so I have a low GI version and my husband something more standard. Would suggest you do something similar, definitely don't make three meals. For our fussy eater, about half the time we do give in and make them something separate we know they will eat, which I cannot due to the carbs. However, I freeze portions of some of these meals to make it easier and it also allows us to have curry or other dish ourselves they would not touch, so I don't really mind. The other half of the time we try to make foods they will eat some bits of, and also provide some kind of safe food either on the side or as part of the meal, we know they will eat. Try to make sure within this meal they will have some kind of safe whole grain or potatoe based carb and some protein they are likely to eat. On these days we serve everything on the table, so they can choose what they eat. They eat only limited vegetables, so try to make sure there are some from the few they may eat with each meal, but then always have tonnes of fruit for dessert and a good multivitamin. At least it means we can share the same meals.

We also, as others have said, try to cook more portions than we need with each meal. Then either freeze (dependent on meal and freezer space) or eat the next day. We have some tray bake trays that fit in our freezer, so can just pop two tray bakes in the oven and freeze one (they stack in the freezer and often each tray lasts for 2 meals). For lunches, as someone else said, you can make a big batch of healthy soup or Dahl and eat over several days. Breakfast omelettes can also last more than one day.

However, I am not doing the meal prep alone. My husband also cooks and cleans up after meals. Why isn't your husband at least helping with the cleaning up, especially if he doesn't cook? Why isn't he cooking at least some meals at the weekend, even if he cannot during the week (which seems unfair anyway unless you work far fewer hours)? Don't mean to seem negative, but think I would be quite annoyed if I were doing 100% of all the cooking and clearing up.

OP, sorry just seen you said your children are 8 and 10 + one ND. Sorry then, my point above about them making dinner one night each week is probably a bit premature, but your husband still could! Good luck with it all.

No way would my mum of cooked different meals for us as children. if we didn’t like what was put in front of us, then we went without.
The whole is so different now.
can you get them to sit down with you once a week and come up with so easy ideas for meals ?

I don’t understand cooking multiple meals. We had to eat it or go hungry!

My 2 DC got there own breakfast and lunch from the age of 7. We then introduced them to cooking evening meals from the age of 13.

I dont cook/prep 3 meals a day - there's cereal/bread/yoghurt and fruit and there is cheese, sandwich meats, tuna etc , if anyone wants breakfast/lunch - they make their own

Dinners - it's one meal. I cook for me him and the mother and we all have varying needs and wants - but I just try to incorporate everyone's favourite meal in the week . If I hear too many grumbles in a week - I say sod it - sort yourselves and let them get on with it. 24hrs later they are back at the table and a tad more appreciative

I utterly despise food shopping, meal prep and cooking. I feel you. And there’s only two of us 🤣

I think you need to find ways to share the load. DH needs to take responsibility e.g. for all breakfasts and 2/3 dinners a week. Or he does everyone’s lunches while you are sorting out breakfasts. Kids are definitely old enough to do some helping too.

Given all the diet restrictions, I would make a weekly meal plan so that Mondays are always cheesy veg pasta with real or veggie sausages; Tuesdays are always baked potatoes with veggie chilli or whatever. If you have a day where you feel like mixing it up, you can, but you can always stick to the routine and nor give it headspace.

Yes, yes, yes, yes! The planning (what's nutritional? what does everyone like? when does it need doing by? does someone need something light because of evening activities? etc etc), shopping, preparing, cooking, cleaning... it's totally knackering. And no one seems to appreciate what a task it is.

I'm exploring doing a massive batch cook and storing a bunch of meals in the freezer. Someone recommended these: https://www.tamingtwins.com/slow-cooker-dump-bag-recipes/ which look good, and easily edited for tastes. I don't yet have a slow cooker, so haven't tried.

I wonder if you can prepare your elder son's restricted meal as you prepare lunchboxes in the morning, so that you're only cooking once in the evening.

Meals with lots of components (that can sit in the fridge, be brought out a couple of days in a row) could work, so everyone can pick the bits they want.

More importantly, can husband take on a couple of days?

I agree that even the simplest meals take consideration, time, effort, washing up...

They can do their own breakfast and lunch. Dp should also be cooking a few nights a week. You're being a martyr. There is no need to pour over recipe books and produce 3 meals a day from scratch.

School dinners for the DC?

Can sympathise- 10 year old DS2 is possibly autistic and certainly isn't as eager to get stuff for himself as his brother was at that age. I got him helping himself to muesli for breakfast nicely, but then he decided porridge was the only thing he wanted, and he's a way off being able to make that for himself. Still, last weekend I came downstairs to find him toasting himself a bagel, which was quite the leap forward.

One evening meal, with two options take it or leave it. Presume the fussy eater won't end up as fussy. And if the veggie doesn't like it the third option, make your own.

If your child is old enough to decide they are vegetarian then they are likely old enough to be able to figure out their own breakfast and lunch, and certainly old enough to be putting their dishes away/in the dishwasher/washing up/tidying up after themselves.
Sounds like the restrictive eater doesn't have allergies- they are just picky. The picky stuff tends to go by the way side if they are hungry. If they are a bit all over the place in the morning then you need to have them go to bed half an hour earlier, and wake up half an hour earlier so they have the time to get squared away: prep the school lunches the evening before: sounds like they eat sandwiches so that's incredibly easy to make - just put them together all at the same time, put them in lunchboxes and put them in the fridge for the morning.
As for breakfast food: Again, just give them a choice of two cereals and have some bananas/apples there. If they haven't eaten anything then send them to school with the fruit. If they are hungry they will eat it.

Sounds like for the most part the members of your family can sort out their own breakfast and lunch. Over school holidays make life easier for yourself and put together a few tupperware boxes with pre-prepared salad ingredients/sandwich ingredients in them - so you/they can assemble whatever salad or sandwich they want for lunch. If you prep a load of stuff on monday then you don't have to keep doing all of that prep work throughout the week. They can make their own salads for lunch. And help you do the prep work. And they can put their own plates away.

As for dinner: Cook whatever it is you want to eat. The vegetarian can either eat what you've cooked or can sort themselves out. Same goes for the picky eater. And they can all help you tidy up! You don't have to be cooking from scratch each evening - a roasted chicken, for example, will be enough for a few meals. As will something like a vegetarian lasagna. If they are picky and don't like it then too bad.