I was evicted from a WhatsApp group with grown women!

[THEP0PE]

I feel like a bloody child. Big group of women, 15 of us. Met online but had met a few of the women IRL. Can’t think of anything I’ve done to offend anyone. We chatted every day then out of the blue, three of us just got chucked out. No conversation, no explanation. I really valued their friendship too.

Use your words is a very infantilising expression. You are talking to an adult.

They might think those people left on purpose and be feeling the same way

I was part of a big online what’s app group, I loved it I wasn’t a massive contributor but loved catching up and checking in with everyone. There was one woman who was a PITA and caused rows, two women left because of her. Then she started on the admin who kicked her out, several women were annoyed she had been removed and there was a massive row and another 3/4 of us left. I miss the group chat there were some lovely people on there but I don’t mis the drama. What sadden me though was the other women who left got messages from people in the group asking them to come back and I never did which made me question how much anyone cared/noticed if I was even there.

if there’s been no row there’s two possibilities, one, it was a mistake or two, a few of the admin decided to cut down the group and you were part of the cull. You could message one of the admin and ask what’s happened or message a few who you were close to and start a different group.

There is usually a tier of members in this sort of thing. There will be a small circle of originals who established the group at the top who like to control the group on the snide. They probably have their own side WhatsApp group to chat about the main group. The rest of the members blindly think they are all equal unaware of the small circle at the top pulling the strings. It's all wonderfully pathetic really.

It’s quite difficult to ‘use your words’ when you’ve been thrown out of the chat.

There are times when a direct approach works and times where a dignified silence is much more appropriate and MN is s good place for deciding anonymously which of those approaches to take, so it isn’t as simple as ‘use your words’ even if you were speaking to a toddler.

I don’t cringe for them, I think they must be a bit daft and that anyone who gives that ‘advice’ (to parent or child in fairness) in real life is giving out a very helpful signal to avoid them. A bit like someone wearing a MAGA hat.

A lot of variables isn’t there! Annoying when an OP doesn’t give any info or return to the thread.

Not only infantilising but also extremely patronising, and a really REALLY annoying phrase. I never hear, anyone in real life say this, and if I did I would laugh at them, because it sounds ridiculous. You just know the person saying it thinks they're being really smart and edgy! As I said though, no-one says this in real life! Like no-one says 'are you on glue,' and 'did you mean to be so rude,' and similar silly phrases often said on here!

@THEP0PE If you're still about (I see you've not posted since your first post,) yes, do ask the group leader what on earth is going on. Is it possible it's happened in error. My DD blocked me on Twitter/X last year, and I was like WTF have I said? I texted her and asked 'is everything OK? You've blocked me on Twitter/X?' She said 'have I?!' Upshot is, she had no idea I was blocked and didn't know how it had happened!

If it is something you have 'done' or 'said,' then fuck 'em. Just block them all. I hate big social groups like this, and steer clear of them these days. The idea of them and the social life/social activity, and big bubbly friendship group is much better than the reality. The reality is that there is always a Queen Bee, plus several gobshites who love the sound of their own voice, and the quieter ones get shut down and don't get much chance to speak. (Or they get picked on and shoved out of the group!)

Eventually the group descends into a pile of arguing, bitchiness, and bitterness, and cliques forming within. Between 1 and 3 people leave, then another 1 or 2, and then the group eventually breaks down, and seperate smaller groups from who don't have anything to do with the others.

Happened with a work group of DH's (they all do varying shifts.) He was in a WhatsApp Group of around 22, that ended up with 1 being knocked out after 2-3 months, then another shortly after, then 2 more left because they were angry about the other 2. Then some of them just ended up falling out - and having 3 seperate groups. (Within 6 months of the big group being started.)

All 3 groups just pretty much had half the people constantly slagging off the other groups most of the time. DH just sat and watched for about a month (after the 3 groups had formed,) and then left his group himself. The only WhatsApp group he's in now is our family one.

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Sorry I took so long. It seems one of the women, probably queen bee, didn’t want one of the others in the group and she thought I would not be happy about her being chucked out so I was also chucked out. I’m better off out of it I think.

How kind of her to anticipate your possible reaction!!

Then that shows you the mindset of 'queen bee'... she's a twat so you're better off without her and anyone who thinks like her.

Reach out to those you feel you'd like to keep in touch with and go from there.

Start your own group the three musketeers

Wow, what a nasty woman. Sounds like you're better off out of it! As a pp said, form your own group with the other 2!

utter nutters, she did you a favour

Not only infantilising but also extremely patronising, and a really REALLY annoying phrase. I never hear, anyone in real life say this, and if I did I would laugh at them, because it sounds ridiculous. You just know the person saying it thinks they're being really smart and edgy! As I said though, no-one says this in real life! Like no-one says 'are you on glue,' and 'did you mean to be so rude,' and similar silly phrases often said on here!

It’s because all those people wouldn’t say boo to a goose in real life. They come on here to feel good about themselves by putting other people down.

At least it’s 3 of you and not just you 😄 you can form your own little friend group now, you’re obviously just too cool for the other sad lot

I was removed from a messenger group , I had been chatting on it for a very long time and had met some of the group too IRL .
I know who removed me 😕 because it showed when I went to check in after being busy for some time .
The group knew full well what I’d been busy with and just removed me because I didn’t have the time at that point or the funds £ to make a trip to where they were all meeting .
I’m best out of it if that’s their attitude 🙁
In the case of WhatsApp though I really don’t know ?
seems odd for 3 of you to be removed so I’d ask

Wow! Glad you got to the bottom of it. Another vote for starting your own group without queen bee