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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

16 Month old signs of autism?

30 replies

bravenewworld12 · 31/05/2025 18:58

I have a 16 month old, he will be 17 months in just over a week. He is a very active and curious little boy. Let's start with what he can do. He walked quite early and is now practically running. He loves to climb. He is generally happy and smiley. Nothing seems to phase him, he has no issues in busy parks, soft play, toddler groups etc he gets stuck right in and tries to join in with the big kids.
He babbles a little bit, and shouts/makes noises when he's excited. He will look at me if I call his name 90% of the time, lots of eye contact. He engages very much with me and my husband. He will constantly bring me toys to turn on, books to read, balls to throw etc throughout the day. He will hand lead if he wants something, put his arms up to be picked up if you say "up". He will grab your hand to point to something in a book. He loves to play peekaboo and will cover his head with the blanket. He will clap his hands if we sing if your happy and you know it most of the time but he's only just now started to do this very recently. He will bring me his shoes if he wants to go outside. He's recently started playing with toys in a more proper way like moving the cars back and forth and trying to put the animals in the correct place etc. We have a little play kitchen in the garden and he will pretend to have a drink with the little cup.

But compared to his peers of similar age I'm starting to worry he is falling behind his peers with his understanding and communication.

He doesn't say any words. No mama, no dada. Nothing. Sometimes it sounds like hes close but it's just babble, and not massive amounts of babble either. Lot's of grunts though.

No pointing with his index finger. If he wants something he will put his whole hand out and grunt and then get frustrated and whine. When I point at something I'm not really certain he's looking where I'm pointing as it's hard to tell especially if it's something far away.

No other gestures like waving hello or goodbye. No blowing kisses. (To be fair we don't do these with him every day, so he hasn't had a lot of practice with these, unlike clapping which I tried really hard with to get him to do before he eventually did it.)

I am trying really hard to work on body parts and we've had some success with him touching his nose but he's not really interested in sitting still for long. He will listen to me sing for a bit but gets bored.

If I say wheres the cat, or bring me your ball he doesn't really understand yet without visual clues.

He sometimes (maybe a few times a week) spins around till he gets dizzy. He also shuts his eyes for a few seconds sometimes and then opens them again. A bit like hes hiding from us.

He gets frustrated easily and has started having tantrums when he doesn't get his own way. He will wave his arms and hit me and also bang his head against something if hes having a tantrum. I know all toddlers have tantrums but I've mentioned it as it's part of the bigger picture.

I guess I'm looking for reassurance. I did call my health visitor and she said if at 20 months I still felt the same she would come out and do an assessment. So he's a little bit off that yet. I'd be willing to look at private SALT assessment but I'd probably want to wait until 18 months.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 31/05/2025 19:07

Every child is different, but just comparing to my own child I’d probably be thinking about some speech & language therapy, or a hearing check possibly? My daughter is 13 months old and has 12ish words, about 5 others that she really tries with but isn’t quite there yet, and she does wave hi/bye, point, blow kisses etc, we have quite a few baby friends the same age who are all pretty similar so I assume that is “normal”? I wouldn’t jump to autism but I would probably be thinking about some assistance or at the very least a check

Hankunamatata · 31/05/2025 19:10

Bit young tbh. Wait until nearly 2. Some kids needs salt and some just need time

bravenewworld12 · 31/05/2025 19:23

Mrsttcno1 · 31/05/2025 19:07

Every child is different, but just comparing to my own child I’d probably be thinking about some speech & language therapy, or a hearing check possibly? My daughter is 13 months old and has 12ish words, about 5 others that she really tries with but isn’t quite there yet, and she does wave hi/bye, point, blow kisses etc, we have quite a few baby friends the same age who are all pretty similar so I assume that is “normal”? I wouldn’t jump to autism but I would probably be thinking about some assistance or at the very least a check

Hearing check could be a possibility although I have no concerns about his hearing. If he hears the TV from the other room he runs straight through and responds to noises etc

OP posts:
lovemetomybones · 31/05/2025 19:27

signpost any signs at your 2 year health visitor visit. My son was in a position where I was concerned about his development, from this point on the right professionals were assigned to assess him. But wait until then and what you are describing is more of a developmental delay rather than autism. Though one can be a sign of the other as well as independent diagnosis.

Bababear987 · 31/05/2025 19:34

I dont think for his age that sounds too different than many boys. I know it's a generalisation but I do think girls pick up speech a bit faster than boys, certainly my friend group the girls are ahead of the boys with speech but the boys did things like walk earlier.
None of what you've described says autism to me

BallerinaRadio · 31/05/2025 19:38

Haven't you posted this very recently? I'm not sure what you're wanting people to say here

NuffSaidSam · 31/05/2025 19:45

It's such a shame how preoccupied so many parents seem to be with their very young children having autism.

He sounds perfectly fine to me OP. But, it's so very early that neither I nor anyone here can tell you whether he is Autistic or not. I doubt a professional would be able to offer a diagnosis/completely allay your fears.

What I would do is try and chill out a little bit. Enjoy him. Play with him. Speak to him, all the time. Read. Keep the TV off as much as possible. Socialise. Enjoy!

If in three months there is no progress you have the HV's offer to come and assess him. Make a conscious effort to enjoy the next three months.

Moonlightfrog · 31/05/2025 19:54

I wouldn’t assume he has autism from what you have said. Kids develop at different speeds, especially in the first 2 years.

I have 2 dc with autism, both diagnosed before their 3rd birthday, both very different (on much higher functioning). DC1 was an awful baby and toddler, she was a late walker but early talker, a very sensitive toddler, I had huge problems finding a nursery she would settle in, she had phobias, anxiety and could make herself sick in 5 seconds when having a meltdown. Her sister was much different. Really placid couldn’t loved climbing, was waking at 10 months but was non verbal, didn’t point, had no eye contact, didn’t respond at all to her name or any instructions, had no imaginative play, just lined up toys.

Your DS doesn’t sound like he’s autistic, he’s not far off his milestones for his age, the fact he makes sounds is a good sign that he will be verbal when he’s ready. He interacts with you, brings you things etc.., tantrums are pretty normal at this age as he’s learning how to communicate, learning how to deal with emotions and learning boundaries (and testing them).

cestlavielife · 31/05/2025 19:57

Start baby sofning or makaton to support communication
And use visuals get your shoes we go to park
Otherwise give it time he is only 16 months

Electricbananaboat · 31/05/2025 20:09

BallerinaRadio · 31/05/2025 19:38

Haven't you posted this very recently? I'm not sure what you're wanting people to say here

It's remarkably similar to a couple of previous threads.

bravenewworld12 · 31/05/2025 20:17

BallerinaRadio · 31/05/2025 19:38

Haven't you posted this very recently? I'm not sure what you're wanting people to say here

No I've this is the first time I've posted about this. For support? To share their own similar experiences?

OP posts:
Tangerinenets · 31/05/2025 20:17

Definitely some red flags there. He absolutely isn’t too young. I took my son to the HV at 14 months. She referred him at that appointment. Hearing test at 18 months and he saw a consultant paediatrician and SALT shortly after that. He attended an assessment centre for 12 weeks, 3 hours a week and he was diagnosed with autism before his 3rd birthday.

However my daughter also showed early signs of autism. She had no language, not even babbles at 2 years old. She did have good understanding though which my son didn’t have. She was very late with all milestones and was referred for SALT at 2 1/2. She started talking a month before her third birthday but didn’t have clear speech until at least year 1. She was diagnosed with dyslexia later and we were told late milestones were an early indicator of dyslexia.

bravenewworld12 · 31/05/2025 20:20

NuffSaidSam · 31/05/2025 19:45

It's such a shame how preoccupied so many parents seem to be with their very young children having autism.

He sounds perfectly fine to me OP. But, it's so very early that neither I nor anyone here can tell you whether he is Autistic or not. I doubt a professional would be able to offer a diagnosis/completely allay your fears.

What I would do is try and chill out a little bit. Enjoy him. Play with him. Speak to him, all the time. Read. Keep the TV off as much as possible. Socialise. Enjoy!

If in three months there is no progress you have the HV's offer to come and assess him. Make a conscious effort to enjoy the next three months.

I am just worried given the obvious red flag differences between himself and other children his age.

I will try and enjoy these next few months. I'm working really hard everyday to aid his development and I guess i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 31/05/2025 20:30

bravenewworld12 · 31/05/2025 20:20

I am just worried given the obvious red flag differences between himself and other children his age.

I will try and enjoy these next few months. I'm working really hard everyday to aid his development and I guess i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

But there aren't 'obvious red flag differences'. Some kids will be more developed with gross motor skills, some with fine motor skills, some with communication. They're all different. He isn't way behind his peers, there are just a few areas where he's slightly behind.

The 'working hard every day to aid his development' is kind of what I'm talking about. Chill out. He's baby, it's ok to just have fun and love him. He doesn't need daily sessions in pointing or clapping. Engaging with him properly and on his level is all he really needs.

If you spend a lot of time with him in the buggy, have him parent facing if possible. This is a very good time for chat, pointing things out, waving etc.

BusMumsHoliday · 31/05/2025 20:33

If he's not pointing by 19 months, make that appointment with your HV. I'm assuming he passed his 1 year review?

Private SLT will almost certainly want a hearing test before they do anything. Being able to hear a TV is no indication that he can hear well enough to distinguish speech sounds.

There are no red flags for autism yet. He's a little behind speech milestones but not enough to be delayed. When you say "peers of a similar age", a month is a huge amount of time at this age.

Stop trying to teach body parts - he won't learn them any faster. And especially not sitting still! Make it a chase game if that's what he likes, or do it on swings. "Mummy's got your... Feet!" Etc.

TeddyBeans · 31/05/2025 20:35

I was palmed off for years by different nurseries and health visitors until he went to school. I can't fault his school for all the hard work they've done with him. He's coming up to the end of year 2 now and we're still waiting on his assessment but we're nearly at the end of our supposed wait time so it could be any time now.

My advice is to keep making noise if you're not happy. I didn't want to be annoying but it wasn't in his best interests to be worried about how people would find me. Keep advocating, he's relying on you ❤️

ItsStillWork · 31/05/2025 20:38

I don’t really see any red flags tbh and there’s quite abit of Autism in my family.

most children don’t say hardly anything before 2. I say this as someone who used to work in nurseries. Yeah you would get the odd child who talked early, but most didn’t.

when you say he gives good eye contact, does he do this with people other than you and dh?

ItsStillWork · 31/05/2025 20:41

Also these days we look for things in our children, we’re always looking out of signs of SEN these days and that can stop us just enjoying our children rather than worrying that there’s something different about them.

Chick981 · 31/05/2025 21:05

I think he sounds fine and in line with development milestones for his age, but only time will tell.

My friend has concerns about her son who is a couple of months older than yours but he is very different and nursery have also raised a lot of concerns.

bravenewworld12 · 01/06/2025 09:00

Thanks everyone. It's just difficult I guess when some people say these things are red flags and others say they aren't.

I know I should relax and enjoy my son. I am a worrier, and I just want the best for my son.

OP posts:
Tangerinenets · 09/06/2025 13:54

NuffSaidSam · 31/05/2025 20:30

But there aren't 'obvious red flag differences'. Some kids will be more developed with gross motor skills, some with fine motor skills, some with communication. They're all different. He isn't way behind his peers, there are just a few areas where he's slightly behind.

The 'working hard every day to aid his development' is kind of what I'm talking about. Chill out. He's baby, it's ok to just have fun and love him. He doesn't need daily sessions in pointing or clapping. Engaging with him properly and on his level is all he really needs.

If you spend a lot of time with him in the buggy, have him parent facing if possible. This is a very good time for chat, pointing things out, waving etc.

There are possible red flags in what the op has said . It’s not about “ being behind” or late with milestones. Sone if things the op has described as stereotypical behaviours in children with autism.

Kayleigh01 · 14/07/2025 19:53

Some of the behaviours you have mentioned would be evident in an autistic child and some children with autism wont show many 'classic' traits.

I am here to advise you to enjoy your baby! My son who was diagnosed shortly after his third birthday is still the same boy regardless of his diagnosis. I watched my son intently, worrying myself sick, googling every sign and now I wish I hadn't. I wish id have soaked in all of those moments when he was a baby because at the end of the day he was autistic then, and he still is now - worrying changed nothing.

Just learn to love you baby how he needs to be loved because you will never get this time back. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. Please don't make the mistake I did

❤️

Alex198992 · 14/07/2025 19:58

I'm no medical expert but in case it gives you any reassurance, this sounds pretty good to me?! There's only a few things he's not doing yet. If he's happy I wouldn't worry too much - they all go at their own pace :)

HappierTimesAhead · 14/07/2025 20:00

Sounds just like my son at that age. He is now 6 and is taking, reading and writing with no issues at all. He just took longer with speech than his peers. His younger sister was totally different and was speaking in sentences at 2. They are all individual

NewPlaceToGo · 14/07/2025 20:06

It would be worth testing his directional hearing, just in case he has glue ear. That would delay his speech without stopping him from hearing more general noises like the TV.

To do that, you take him somewhere quiet where you can hear one loud clear sound that is definitely coming from a specific direction. Ask him if he can hear the sound. Then ask him to point to the sound.

For example go in the garden early in the morning. Listen for a single loud bird, then ask him to point to the bird.

If he points very clearly in the wrong direction then you might have glue ear going on. That would delay speech exactly as you describe. Kids very often grow out of it.

If you see this problem, it would be worth having a hearing test.