How important are appearances when it comes to someone’s job?

[Shallabamba]

Nurse here. Throughout my years of training and years qualified my weight has fluctuated. I’ve been skinny, fat, overweight due to health conditions and then put on weight due to pregnancy and back down to a healthy weight now. I’ve read a fair few threads on here where some posters have said they wouldnt take advice from a fat nurse, I’ve also read numerous articles mainly from the Daily Fail regarding how all nurses sit on our fat arses all day 😂 I also have had fellow nurses who have said would you really take advice from a fat HCP? So I ask you, on this anon public forum would you really judge a fat nurse? Would you think they would less competent than a slim nurse? Or do you think their job has nothing to do with their weight? I also asked myself this question in relation to other jobs, for example would I trust a hairdresser to cut and style my hair if I thought they had really rubbish hair? Or a PT who was out of shape? Are appearances important when it comes to someone’s profession?

See and this is the thing isn't it?

If they're overweight people will disregard their weight loss advice.

If they're not overweight people will disregard their weight loss advice.

At the end of the day, I think people are just looking to lash out because they know they need to lose weight and can't because it's so hard, and making it someone else's fault helps in some way.

I’m a nurse. I know the science behind the human body. I don’t need someone who use to be a fitness coach to explain this to me 🤫

Your post just reminded me of a spirometry test I had last year to check the stage of my COPD (it turned out to be mild to moderate). Anyway, the lovely male nurse who performed the test definitely smelt of tobacco. I must admit it did surprise me at the time, but he was so kind, and that was the most important thing to me.

Well, no. They almost certainly don't. For exactly the reason that you say!

About 18 years ago, I decided to have an hypnotic gastric band. I was a bit surprised when the hypnotist turned out to be a short fat lady. It didn't work and I do sometimes wonder if her obesity affected me on a subconscious level.

Nurses, particularly overweight ones, spout nonsense about the BMI being useless all the time. What they tend to get wrong is usually more about the statistical side of things, rather than how the human body works.

You’d be surprised at how many HCP still smoke. There’s also a huge number that have drinking problems… and yes you will get some that do drugs.

Well it’s a good job I’m not overweight or I’d think you’re talking about me 🤭 Most HCP don’t take what gym coaches say seriously.

I recently read that a good alternative to BMI is to look at your waist to height ratio. Your waist size should be half that of your height.

If the shoe doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. Good on you for taking care of your body. But as I said, it’s a particularly common phenomena for anti-bmi sentiment to come from overweight medical professionals and shills catering to overweight patients who are in denial about standing to benefit from weight management.

Curiously, almost no one goes “BMI is useless” when we’re talking about underweight individuals.

Honestly?

Yes I would. I'd judge a fat doctor too. They are meant to be promoters of health. And obese isn't that.

I don’t give a shit what HCPs look like or whether they smoke or whatever. You don’t have to be healthy yourself to know what being healthy entails or advise others. Being fat and/or unhealthy doesn’t mean someone doesn’t know how to administer your medication or put your arm in a sling or stitch up your cuts. They’re there to treat your condition, not act as a role model. Even if they’re advising you on weight loss, being fat doesn’t mean they don’t know what weight loss entails. It simply means that, like most of us, they find it hard to do.

I wouldn’t go to a hairdresser with badly styled hair because that suggests they are physically shit at doing their own hair and aren’t likely to be any better at doing mine. It suggests a lack of skill.

You don't know why someone is overweight.
I have a friend who was always in healthy shape, toned etc. She then developed a serious medical condition and had to be on (and is still on) steroids. Her weight has ballooned. She really struggles with it. However, she is brilliant and an amazing (medical) professional.
Don't judge unless you know the whole story.

Many years ago, I worked for the UK medical rep of an overseas company. He worked closely with a consultant urologist over here. The urologist rang me at home one night to ask me something (this was perfectly acceptable as it was how we worked), and then said, "Please can you check with that I told him about so and so last night? I had had a few whiskies so can't remembered if I mentioned it". This was the early part of the week, so it wouldn't have surprised me if he had been operating the day after.

I'd judge a fat doctor too. They are meant to be promoters of health

No they’re not. They’re meant to treat your illnesses, which they can do whether they’re fat or not. Your doctor’s skill and knowledge is not affected by their love of pies and dislike of exercise. They’re not ambassadors for will power or a perfect body type.

Honest answer: of course people judge an obese/morbidly obese nurse!!! Of course they look at overweight people and question what on earth someone is doing in the health industry if they can't even control their own bodyweight/take their own advice etc etc.

The sad things is that so many people working in the health industry are obese. Not just a bit overweight, but properly vastly obese. I was in the A&E the other day sitting with a family member, and was shocked at how many nurses - and doctors - were obese and struggling. Mostly women, sadly. The lead doctor who seemed to be coordinating what was going on in A&E was clearly morbidly obese: she couldn't even walk properly she was so big - her trainers were flattened from the weight and she couldn't bend her knees properly - it was really quite shocking to see someone who is a doctor - and who deals with heart attacks all day and other results of people being unhealthy - be so very large. I initially felt bad for her, but soon changed when it turned out she was also an absolutely terrible doctor!! The family member needed spine related help - and she was not only dismissive and rude via her minions (who she was also treating terribly), she was also incredibly snarky and almost spiteful in her manner when we asked to speak with her.

Turned out that she was very very wrong. Fortunately I insisted that she call the spinal team for a consult. She refused (she wanted to send my family member home with no treatment or plan whatsoever). I told her that if she was going to refuse she needed to document her refusal and our request on the charts. Suddenly she changed her mind and snottily said "well in that case...fine I'll put in a consult - but you'll have to wait" (!!!! of course we'd wait!!!!). Turned out that we were quite right to want the consult: my family member ended up being admitted immediately to the urgent surgical unit when the spinal team actually got to look at the notes. Was in hospital for a week. We wrote a letter of complaint because I hate to think how many other people she's fobbed off in the past and been horrible to.

I worry that people who are that large really cannot do their jobs properly: they are more likely to be fatigued easily, and to be in pain. They are also more likely to have other health issues that can act as a distraction. Which is concerning when someone is working in an A&E and needs to be highly observant and really ontop of their game to be able to take care of lots of patents, many of whom do not yet have a diagnosis.

Sadly anyone who is telling you it doesn't matter and that people aren't looking are lying to you. Of course what really matters here is what YOU think of yourself. If you are happy being fat then it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks with the caveat that if the weight is at a level where it's causing any kind of negative impact to your work then clearly you should do something to resolve that situation (same as for anyone who has a medical problem that is impacting their work - especially if that work in involves other people's health). If it does bother you then you are fortunate to be in an environment where there is a lot of support for weight loss and a lot of understanding of it - and I'm sure people will be kind if you tell them not to offer you sweets/cake/sugary drinks etc because you are trying to avoid junk food. One of the great things about your job is that you do oftentimes have to walk quite alot - so take advantage of that. Walk rather than taking the lift. Use the stairs if you need to get between floors. Keep walking and going up and down those stairs, and remember to hydrate.

This is a bizarre comment: 1) you haven't got a clue what her health history is, for all you know she may be anorexic or may have been horribly overweight in the past, or may be bullemic: you have no idea what her personal situation is, so to judge her on her appearance really is gross - particularly given you clearly don't like being judged yourself on your appearance; 2) Are you really saying that a doctor needs to have suffered from an illness to be able to treat that illness??? That really is daft: do you expect all oncologists to have suffered from cancer?? All spinal surgeons to have suffered from spinal trauma? All cardiologists to have had heart attacks??? Of course not! That would be insane!!! Most overweight people are defensive about your weight, so it's possible that you did not like someone who is much smaller than you telling you you need to lose weight. You have to understand that a lot of people who are overweight are in denial about it and actually haven't been told by a medical professional that they need to lose weight - so a doctor would be violating their oath if they failed to tell you that you needed lose weight. If you were upset by that then that's too bad really, it's not their fault you are overweight.

As for "zero personality or empathy": clearly you didn't like being told to lose weight by a thin person - so your view of their personality was likely impacted by that issue. You also need to remember that doctors are not there to be your friends or to be people you would choose to hang out with: they are there to diagnose and treat you. They also deal with a lot of obese people who are in denial and really don't want to take personal responsibility for their weight or weight loss and will blame the situation on anyone or anything but themselves. Those patients forget that "fault" is irrelevant. The issue is responsibility: and the only person who is responsible for losing weight is the patient. It requires willpower to decide that you are going to burn more calories than you consume each day. And if you aren't used to eating a normal calorie amount (around 2,000 for women - but a calorie deficit for someone who is obese would be around 1,500) then you won't like cutting down to that amount. Even though it works.

I couldn't care less if an overweight HCP gave me advice on losing weight (or anything else). They are advising ME not themselves, and we all know what we need to do when it come to losing weight, the fact that they aren't taking their own advice is neither here nor there.

Well I never trust a skinny chef

but chubby nurses I assume they have no time to eat, run ragged, harassed and had enough and end up eatting choc and junk that the patients treat them with

I just assumed it's the stress and shifts making them over weight. Pretty hard to adjust to and make eating well on 12 hour shifts and exercising between hard. Add in most are women and also trying to juggle parenting and running a household etc.

I would take advice from a fat nurse. If the issue wasn’t related to weight or healthy eating at all, their weight wouldn’t even cross my mind.

If it was, well I have a lifetime of experience to know that knowing the right thing to do and implementing it for yourself are two completely separate things! I’m not a nurse but I’m a prime example, I’ve spent my whole life fat despite being a highly educated and rational person who knows exactly what I should be doing.

If the fat nurse showed a lack of empathy for why I wasn’t making the right choices, then I’d judge her and think her a hypocrite!

Look- it's not the fact that someone is overweight that people are objecting to- I couldnt give flying toss what anyone eats or doesnt eat, it's literally none of my business. What I DO object to is being lectured or told what to do about my own health by someone who from all appearances, isnt looking after their own. It just makes it hard to take it seriously is all.

It's not just weight either- if a doctor was lecturing me about smoking but had nicotine stained fingers and reeked of cigarettes I would instantly put his advice in the bin in my mind. They may well be talking perfect sense but the disconnect between their words and their actions is deeply offputting to me.

You don't trust a skinny chef??? Yikes - clearly you haven't actually worked in a professional kitchen. The great chefs work extremely hard more than 6 days a week and are on their feet all day - it's incredibly difficult to do that job if you aren't in decent shape/are fat.
All the three Michelin star chefs I know are fit and not at all what one would describe as overweight/obese. Indeed on of the best chefs in that group - Clare Smyth (Core) - is very svelt. One I went to school with is in superb shape - he's got two michelin stars. It's miserable working in a kitchen if you are fat.

Having spent a fair amount of time in a professional kitchen when I was a student (good way to earn money during holidays): you inevitably lost weight because you were working during meal times, often working split shifts/double shifts, and were working extremely hard doing physical work - the amount of calories you burn during a service is enormous.

There are many reasons why someone can be overweight.

As you have mentioned OP that could include health conditions, side effect from medication or just having had a child, so basically I would not judge.

My GP and the practice nurse who last did a health check (which including checking my weight and exercise routine) are overweight, but so what. They also do a highly stressful job with long hours so I am not going to criticise them.

My GP practice is really good so I am just happy to have them!

I get push back from patients when discussing weight because they have said that I have obviously never struggled with my weight so can’t understand how hard it is to eat well and exercise. I understand their point.