Bitchy work colleague I’d had enough!

[rainydaysamonday24]

Keeping this short. I have a work colleague who will often make a snide comment about another colleague to you. They make a huge fuss if they are in the slightest bit “busy”, whilst the rest of us have to listen. They are currently in a team that is managed by a colleague who has been the job a long time. Has experience. This particular colleague really wants this position.
Today we had a team meeting about a new project.
Earlier in the morning I had to meet with this particular colleague as my work slightly overlaps with there’s.
I made a point about the project that the manager had notified us about. They hadn’t notified the rest of their team so I decided we would pick up that part of the project. The colleague said yeah fine - I don’t care either way.
At a big staff meeting this colleague then went on to say sarcastically that I had “stolen” this part of the project! Like what the!
im an easy going person and don’t get angry at work, but I was so annoyed that they had try to make out that I had done this - so I said in a firm voice that wasn’t true. And the only reason they wanted that part of the project back was because the senior managers were really keen to hear the completion of.
the colleague looked shocked I’d spoken out.
i admit i don’t feel great about any of this and I don’t like confrontation. I did get upset and I took myself off somewhere else to work.
what should I do? I think just a combination of having to listen to all the bitching form one person.

Yes peacemaker is anything but.

I wish you could be assertive and not let them get away with it. I know it isn't easy if it isn't your nature.

You could always get signed off sick with stress if you feel that bad?

What about reporting to HR? Sounds like bullying.

Urgh. I wish one of us could be there to back you up, you need an uninvolved work mate to say "Just pack it in Susan, you're annoying everyone now not just rainy". Try whichever you like from these, they start polite so you could escalate:

"I've noticed you coming over a lot and breaking my concentration. Please wrap up all your questions into one daily email and I'll reply that way."

"The split of work will remain as written in the email. I've noticed you being disruptive during the working day lately, is there something you're struggling with?"

"Oh dear, you're bored again. Have you thought about doing some work to keep occupied?"

@rainydaysamonday24 to me peacemaker sounds more like an arselicker stab in the backer!! as for bitchy colleague, she/he was probably gobsmacked that someone answered them back!! now they are wary!! have you told your manager (whose job bitchy colleague wants) about all the reactions you have had and how it is affecting you. I applaud you for standing up for yourself. I too am of the "dont fuck with me" mentality and I would not take shit from bitch either!

Sorry to go against the grain but I think maybe the reason you feel bad/it’s become such a big thing was because of the bit where you said she only wanted that part of the project because of interest from management.

The denial of the ridiculous “stealing” was absolutely fine and completely the right thing to do, but that second part was more of a retaliatory jab at her - it made it into more of a two way argument.

The fact that you then went and “sulked” as others might have seen it /were so upset in another office - just amped up the drama for everyone else. Not blaming you at all, can see why you felt that way, but looks like some people are keen on amping this up.

I think to survive the rest of your time there you’ll need to unclench around other colleagues and somehow find a way to be the bigger person, laugh it off and relegate it to the past.

So if bitchy colleague comes up to divvy up projects etc like a knobhead just play along like she’s a bit slow and do it really patiently, maybe ask her if she wants someone to print off a list for reference? Then move on, talk to other colleagues, just do your job and don’t let this mini drama become your defining feature.

You stood up for yourself. That’s fine. Why aren’t you going into work? Just smile serenely in the face of her nuts behaviour. You can’t just leave off the back of this and never go back… 🫢

If you allow this persons behaviour to affect yours.colour your way of working you are allowing them to set you up as not ‘able’ or ‘up for the job’. Get into work, do your job and ignore!

Thanks for all your reply’s. So I did go in and was going well thinking I’ll just crack on!
Except “Peacemaker” caught me next to the filing area and was like “oh are we ok…I thought you hadn’t come to (this event we were both going to) as you were mad.
i said No - I was mad for being accused of stealing a project. All fine. That’s it.
she then went on to mutter about how it would be good if we could all speak nicely together ..like WTF.
she is working with bitchy colleague on some project now.
i was close to saying how’s this for nice - F off!

@rainydaysamonday24 yes thought as much. Smiling assasin.

Peacemaker is the flying monkey of bitchy colleague

You have really go to start asking this person why she's trying to stir up trouble.

maybe I’m jealous now that peacemaker has never had a “cross” word with someone…
anyway - it all makes me feel bad about raising my voice and saying how I felt.

By responding at all you are feeding them exactly what they want. They can now be victim and tell people how you misunderstood and are picking on them etc. you need to grey rock them professionally and start to show you can’t be played.

That peacemake is utter prison, do not engage.

With the bitch person, everytime she comes over asking you something to annoy you, email her back "just to confim your wish for v,y and z clarification.
Every single time.

It will be clear she is interrupting your day and you can mention that in an email after about 4-6 that perhaps collating questions would mean less interruptions to your day.
Hang in there.

Next time peacemaker comes over and mentions it, just ask her to drop the subject.

‘oh hi peacemaker, are you still talking about this, I think it’s old news now’ tinkly laugh.

tbh I’d not call her peacemaker, I’d call her ‘shit stirrer in peacemaker clothing’

'Peacemaker' hasn't needed to - they've been able to get their own way through pretending to be all nice and fluffy then attacked from behind the mask when nobody's looking.

The other one is making a point because they're pissed off about becoming the subject of jokes and shown up to be a twat in public - if they make any more comments about 'stealing a project', a neutral 'There's a simple way to ensure that doesn't happen again. Now, you're going to spangle the worzelgummit and I'm going to flangicate the contracipticative perdificate' and make sure you document the distribution of tasks in advance so it can be shared with management at any given moment. It's always worthwhile recording what's planned and who will be allocated/responsible, as it's possible that something might be overlooked in the distribution of tasks (or a sneaky dick might not do something and then claim that it was your task that you've failed to complete).

Other people have made jokes precisely because they think it's marvellous that you spoke out. And now you've done it once, it's very possible that a) people are less likely to impose upon you or steal your work and b) it'll be easier to nip any attempts to do so in the bud before it gets to the meeting stage.

Looking to the future, as part of the process, it's always handy to make a point of saying something like 'Taking the data provided by <other person, so independent> following the implementation, we can see that whilst the contracipticative perdificate flangificiation by Team A <my team> has increased productivity by 495% over the quarter, the implementation of the worzelgummit spanglement has not yet shown as significant an improvement <twat's team>'. And when management ask why, you can defer to <twat> as he's best placed to answer as it's his area of expertise.

You did great. More of that sort of thing!