Allow me to introduce myself (though why people would think they could possibly know every username out of the hundreds of thousands on MN is beyond me ... )
I only post sporadically, as usually I start and then resolve that internet arguments are pointless waste of time and energy. So I'm not a "regular" per se, though I do keep tabs on AIBU, a habit formed during late night feeds with babies to keep myself awake.
I am on the fence with trans issues. My general philosophy - in everything, choose compassion. Also, someone else's body is none of my business. DS has a very close friend who is trans so we've had many open and nuanced discussions in our house about this.
I am in support of trans people living their lives without interference. This includes - should they wish - altering their bodies once they are of sufficient age and wellness to make that decision. I do not think this is always a terrible decision, for some it can be really positive. For others it's not appropriate. That decision is down to the individual and their doctors. I do think it needs to be approached with caution and full awareness and consideration of mental health issues and alternative treatments. We should be encouraging holistic care and not one size fits all.
As a cis-woman I am ambivalent toward my own breasts. They've done their job now, have a decent likelihood of trying to kill me later, and are entirely too big which causes literal physical pain and a certain subset of males to treat me like a pornstar. Clothes never fit, swimwear is obscenely expensive, and they get in the way while driving. I have been tempted to get rid of them on occasion - I'm too scared of surgery to actually do it - but if I chose to it would be entirely my own business. It's not some great crisis and I don't think my femaleness hinges on them. It's weird that people are so proud of and attached to a body part to the degree they'd insist others keep theirs. The battle over control of breasts continues.
For me the idea of transwomen in the bathroom pales in comparison to the thought of women having to look "female enough" to use the toilet. If I was a braver person I would dress as unfemale as possible, somehow hide the aforementioned breasts, and dare people to challenge me entering the female toilet. I have always detested gender stereotypes and the assumption that girls should look a certain way or like certain things. I also have a healthy fear of what cismen would do given the sanctioned moral imperative to "protect women". I grew up evangelical, I am well aware of what that looks like.
I do have concern over some males having access to female spaces - certainly female prisons should have no penises present and I extend that to the guards and prison staff - and rape by a transwoman should always be recorded as a male crime. That said I have concern over some males being anywhere in this world, all my bad experiences have been with cis-het males in public spaces.
DS's trans friend has been threatened with rape specifically because he is trans multiple times. In DS's school there have been several incidents where girls with flat chests and boys who are slight and have baby faces have been hounded to 'prove' their sex by showing their genitals, and yes, assaulted by other children attempting to 'out' them by grabbing genitalia. This isn't happening in a vacuum, the rise in such incidents coincided with political leadership headlining transphobia as an election tactic.
Both extremes are problematic in my view. We would do well to not be so so certain of our rightness and the other's evilness, that leads to terrible things. We should be as worried about our children absorbing controlling, dominating beliefs and behaviours towards other people's bodies, and fear of those bodies, as we are about social contagion of gender dysphoria. Both are damaging.
You are loved .... yes. Absolutely. Always. Regardless. Have the conversations with your kids, don't be afraid of them.