I feel constantly stressed about money as a twin mum

[Lostsoul121]

I’m a twin toddler mum working part time 6 days a month.
We are in a relatively good position as we’re able to save with my DH working FT and me PT, we save around £1200 a month.

I feel so constantly stressed about money-
sometimes I feel we’re doing okay and sometimes I feel we’re penny pinching and not living life properly. I try to budget our incomes and give spending money too.

I think since becoming parents we’ve become so much more aware about money and how much we have.
I know there are parents struggling badly, we are both healthcare professionals and I feel alone as we’re the only parents in our friendship group and immediate family (we’re 28).

It’s getting to the point where I have issues sleeping thinking about the long term.

OP, if you're in a position to save £1,200 a month after all expenses, and with the cost of living as it is currently, then you really have nothing to worry about as far as I can see.

What EXACTLY is it that you think is going to happen, as it seems likely to me, that it's just the responsibility of having 2 babies at once that is playing on your mind, as of course that means double everything and the cost of it, as they grow?

However, as an older person, I can pretty much say that at your age, things will likely get easier as time goes by, as you will probably want to go to work F/T as the twins get older, which will boost your income. Your partner, who is already working F/T will get wage increases, and while things do go up too, generally it does tend to even itself out in my experience.

You could save less and give yourself more wiggle room.

You only work 6 days a month and you still save £1200 a month. I think you're ok.

Your worries seems a bit out of proportion by the sounds of things. If you can save 1200 a month at the moment (which sounds like a lot), then presumably in two or three years time when the kids are in school you can work more hours and save more. What specifically are you concerned about not being able to afford in the future?

stop saving so much if you are ‘penny pinching’. You sound like you really need help with your mental health. It’s not normal to worry about money this much especially when you are saving such a lot.

If you worked more then you would earn more. Would that help you stop worrying?

Say what????

Can you explain why you're panicking when you're managing to save only sightly less than I earn each month?

I truly don't understand

Just a different perspective - I lost my twins (miscarried) in 2022 and we would only dream of being about to save £1200 a month. You also only work 6 days a month - what a life!

Not saying you can’t struggle but, you have 2 beautiful babies and save a huge amount each month. You have it so good, sometimes you need a kick up the bum to realise that

This cannot be real

I am so so sorry about this, this message truly touched me. I had my twins after many rounds of IVF and you are very right about perspective.

Thank you also everyone for your replies, it’s definitely a mental thing because I know we are doing good as a household, it’s the unknown of the future and and stress of keeping it going with family finances for my kids. I feel with everything going up in cost we see more of the people who are doing well than the people who are trying to get by.

Sorry to hear you went through rounds of IVF to finally get your twins. I think sometimes you do need different perspectives to realise how lucky you are per say to others.

£1200 is a really huge amount and achievement of being able to save. If you feel like you are constantly penny pinching and living life on a budget I would suggest upping your days at work by a couple of days a month to use as spending or putting slightly less into savings to afford things.

It is good to have a balance between savings for the future but also, having money to enjoy the now

You save what I earn and I have to pay rent, council tax, bus fair, some debts and food out of that, which I've done today.

Now I'm skint yet again until 27th June.

You save £1200 a month and work 6 days a month… sorry but your post is so tone deaf to the reality of many parents

I was just going to say this, my twin sons died at birth 18 months ago. My first boy was stillborn and my second boy was taken off life support at 4 days old, he died in our arms. It's absolutely changed our lives.

Op, just like this poster said you'd kill into have them back. Stop putting away so much money, and enjoy your children. Honestly life can take such bad turns trust me and you are doing ok. I know it's easy to worry but id do anything to hold my sons one more time. You are worrying so much about the future, you'll miss out on enjoying them.

Also @Unicornmama12 I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard.

This 🙄, with kindness, get a grip....

You are in a very enviable position. Maybe speak to a counsellor if THIS is causing you to lose sleep.

Just save less?

£600 savings
£600 spare to not worry so much.

Just don’t worry about saving so much.

It's pretty normal for parents of twins IME. What you'd planned and budgeted for suddenly doubles. Also £1k/mth savings doesn't go that far in some places in London.

Why do you need to save £1200 yet penny pinch? What are you saving for? Half of that would be decent.

Also if you can't sleep with worrying about money, can't you do more than 6 days a month?

What’s the big fear? What is it? What are you scared might happen?

Get real

🙄

Mum of twins here! Mine are 15 now and I have an older DS too. It is hard when two come along at once and you have to get two of everything. And growing up, you are constantly paying out double all the time. We are not huge earners but are comfortable and our kids have had a lovely upbringing….plenty of days out, nice holidays etc. My friends always laugh at the amount of bank accounts I have but I use them as savings pots. Every month, I put money away in each pot, such as Car, Xmas, School, Holiday etc. Doing this means that my monthly outgoings are always the same but, each year when I had 3 lots of school uniform to buy or Xmas presents to get, the money was there ready. This makes me feel much more in control and I can work out how much I need to save each month to allow myself enough for those once a year things or emergency situations. I am currently putting money away each month to buy two cars for them when they turn 17! Of course, I also factored in a monthly allowance for “fun stuff”. We would probably have one day out a
month where we would go to the zoo or something, an afternoon at soft play and then parks, play dates or the beach, which didn’t cost much. As everyone else has said, don’t live too much for the future if you’re not enjoying the present. They don’t stay little for long and, before you know it, they’re teenagers that couldn’t possibly be seen out in public with you!

Basically what we put away as a household just about covers our “yearly pots” until I can increase my days, but ideally I’d only do that when they start nursery.
Yearly pots like birthdays house car repair holidays a small debt to my dad etc.
So in reality we’re not increasing our savings until I increase my work days later on, I guess that’s what is stressing me out