I feel constantly stressed about money as a twin mum

[Lostsoul121]

I’m a twin toddler mum working part time 6 days a month.
We are in a relatively good position as we’re able to save with my DH working FT and me PT, we save around £1200 a month.

I feel so constantly stressed about money-
sometimes I feel we’re doing okay and sometimes I feel we’re penny pinching and not living life properly. I try to budget our incomes and give spending money too.

I think since becoming parents we’ve become so much more aware about money and how much we have.
I know there are parents struggling badly, we are both healthcare professionals and I feel alone as we’re the only parents in our friendship group and immediate family (we’re 28).

It’s getting to the point where I have issues sleeping thinking about the long term.

I'm sorry but I don't really see the problem still

I still feel like £1200 is a huge amount to put away for these things. To be frank OP that's not a luxury most people have and neither is working so little.

14K is likely to more than cover what you describe. Check how much you spent last year. Your children are very young so you should expect to be treading water a bit financially. Twins can be more expensive than two singles but not always, what you lose in no hand me downs you save on no juggling childcare or double drop offs. I haven’t read anything twins, you will take a bit longer to recover physically and financially but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

You sound completely out of touch with the real world.

That’s a huge amount to be able to save per month. Wow!

And a lovely low amount of working days.

I suggest you either save less or work more if you want more money to play with.

It sounds like you’re doing well but plagued by the natural anxiety of parenthood. You’re doing what you think is best, which is great. If you feel you’d like an enjoy the money a bit more then why don’t you cut the savings down a little every month- if not then carry on as it definitely doesn’t hurt!

I’m 27 and I’m about to have my second. I’ve just patted myself on the back for having managed to save £600 over the course of 3 months with us both working 40hrs a week!!

Honestly, life provides enough stress as it is without us creating worries in our own heads. Try to look at this one objectively and let it go, you’ll all be fine.

*just seen your update- just remember that birthdays, holidays, etc., are luxuries not essentials. They are as expensive or cheap as you make them, if at all. Sometimes things have to be cut back and that’s ok, that’s normal for most people.

Lots of people don’t even have a pot for when the car breaks down and that’s when it gets stressful. You have a pot and it sounds like you’re organised and on top of things. You’re never going to be in your optimum financial state when you have young children.

Work more if you’re so worried

It sounds like you’re in an amazing position with no need to worry.

When your twins go to school you can get a job with more hours and all that money will be bonus money, as you’re already covering costs.

Maybe you need to sit down and work out whether you should adjust your pots so you can enjoy life as a family too. I had to do that with my partner recently - I pointed out that we were only putting 2% of our monthly income into our monthly shared family fun pot and we needed to re-prioritise!

@Lostsoul121 Putting away £1200 each month is a HUGE amount. You're worrying over nothing.

My second child turned out to be twins, so we had to change BOTH cars to fit 3 car seats in, and when I went back to work I earned £20 a week after childcare and petrol. Not to mention the fact we'd just bought a house and taken out a large mortgage, calculating in the fact we wanted a second child, but not anticipating a buy one get one free situation.

Things were very tight but we managed!

I do understand. I am a bit the same. I'm always looking to put money away 'in case' rather than enjoying it.

I think part of the issue is I've been a lifelong saver and it's hard to adapt from that mindset now that we have actually bought a house etc.

I imagine you had to save for IVF etc and so are used to watching the pennies.

I don't really know what the answer is but I get it.

I also have fairly fixed ideas about what we normally spend on things and struggle when anything is significantly above this, even when we can afford it.

I have a four year age gap in mine but it took a bit of adjusting to the costs of things for a family of four rather than three. You've had that all at once which is probably part of the issue.

Plus with twins everything tends to be due together from school trips to haircuts. It's not necessarily more expensive than having two children of different ages but it's less staggered.

I try to have a small pot of treat money as I find I've already allocated it from the monthly expenditure and it stresses me out less than taking it from the main account. Or we have separate finances and I let my husband deal with more of the fun stuff and I do the bills and savings as I'm more relaxed about it that way.