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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is DH BU or am I re family staying?

76 replies

Samuelthespaniel · 29/05/2025 09:05

It looks like my younger sibling may be starting a mix of work/college based training soon. The thing is, for the college parts they about and hour and a half drive away. He could get a room in the city where the college is but as he wouldn’t be in college full time it seems a waste as a lot of the leases are year to year (granted I have seen a few shorter term ones and part of me things it would be good for my sibling to have that experience of living away from home, on the other hand I’m quite a bit older than my sibling and I feel a duty of care to help them in whatever way I can). I live an hour away from it and when asked if sibling could stay here during those times (I assume it could be anything from 8-22 weeks at a time, weekdays only) I said I’d have to discuss it with DH first but I would be on board. DH has said he’s happy for people to stay on the occasional night but that he doesn’t want someone here for multiple nights or weeks. For context DH works lates (sometimes not getting home till 2am) so doesn’t get up til 9-10am sometimes and he said it would be another person making noise in the morning and to clean up after, and said he has spent the best part of a decade living with housemates and he finally has his own space. He’s the same when I suggested getting a summer student or a lodger so I know it’s not personal. He wouldn’t actually be in the house in the evenings when my sibling is here though. Another family member who lives near me also has a spare room so that also may be an option. AIBU to push it? I think my parents were hoping he’d be staying here.

OP posts:
Gerwurtztraminer · 29/05/2025 15:40

Yes, he'd be far better finding a Monday-Friday lodging room as close to college as he can. Makes far more sense as it means he's close to collage, won't have to get up so early (which at 18 is quite a challenge!) and can socialise with new college friends and not have to drive home.

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