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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we CAN live on the mortgage

743 replies

JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 09:34

Advice please -

Couple - Earn £10,500 a month
Mortgage - 3,700 a month
Nursery - 1,000 a month

Considering all other possible outgoings, do you think we can afford this and not feel pressured each month. What am I not considering? We've done the spreadsheet but I'm still unsure.

We will have about £65,000 in savings at the beginning of this venture.

Thanks in advance. House of a lifetime.

OP posts:
TheGirlattheBack · 28/05/2025 14:31

Others have mentioned job loss but there are other reasons why you may lose one of your incomes, ill health, caring responsibilities and sorry to say death.

We always made sure we could afford our monthly outgoings on one of our salaries and it has served us well as one of our DC has major health problems and I had to give up work. We could have had a massive mortgage but thankfully chose not to - we are very cautious people though.

That said if it became too much we would have just moved to something more affordable so you always have options. I think people get too wrapped up in the forever house concept. If it’s your dream house for now and you can afford it now, go for it.

I haven’t read the full thread (too bitter and sarky) so hope I’m not repeating what others have said!

Summerhillsquare · 28/05/2025 14:31

NotSmallButFunSize · 28/05/2025 09:40

Oh piss off!

If you can't work this out, how the actual fuck did you even get the job that pays so much?

I often wonder this. But it's probably just inheritance, family connections, existing property, the usual things.

CarmellaSopranosKitchen · 28/05/2025 14:31

My mind boggles how some people can earn so much and yet have little common sense...I wonder what jobs they do?

JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:32

PixelNomad · 28/05/2025 14:28

Why are people so angry at those who have worked their way up and are earning well as a result. Baffling, really.

OP, our numbers are similar to yours, mortgage lower but we are overpaying quite a bit. We also have two DC, they are older and doing a lot of activities (sports, music, etc..) and that costs about 1K a month.

It's perfectly doable but like others said, think of a plan in case one you loses their job (ie enough savings to cover at least 6 months of mortgage and bills etc..)

Thank you. The hate is baffling, I would genuinely be happy for anyone who earns more than me. It's nothing to do with me. Anyway each to their own bitterness.

OP posts:
Spacehop · 28/05/2025 14:32

Lancasterel · 28/05/2025 12:49

Don’t worry about them OP, they’re presumably just jealous. You can post about whatever financial circumstances you like! And you don’t have to always “read the room.”
These jealous posters drive me mad…. I’m an only child and proper jealous of people with a
sibling. Doesn’t mean I’m rude to people who post about their brothers and sisters!

Yes exactly. I'm in a shitty marriage but I don't rain on the parade of those who have a wonderful DH. Envious but not bitter is always preferable.

OP wonder if having a longer mortgage without over-payment penalties or an off-set mortgage. Mortgages tend to be much more affordable over time. For instance we couldn't buy a flat now with the mortgage that seemed humungous 20 years ago.

JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:32

CarmellaSopranosKitchen · 28/05/2025 14:31

My mind boggles how some people can earn so much and yet have little common sense...I wonder what jobs they do?

Professional trolls 😎

OP posts:
DismondShoes · 28/05/2025 14:33

Why is the council tax so low?

JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:33

Spacehop · 28/05/2025 14:32

Yes exactly. I'm in a shitty marriage but I don't rain on the parade of those who have a wonderful DH. Envious but not bitter is always preferable.

OP wonder if having a longer mortgage without over-payment penalties or an off-set mortgage. Mortgages tend to be much more affordable over time. For instance we couldn't buy a flat now with the mortgage that seemed humungous 20 years ago.

Yes, thank you, that is definitely something to think about.

OP posts:
Fearfulsaints · 28/05/2025 14:34

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 28/05/2025 14:28

Does your job require you to problem solve? Don't wanna be too mean but that seems quite a rhetorical question for most people. What makes it not so for you?

I can't tell if you are being mean or not as I can't understand what you are asking me.

JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:34

DismondShoes · 28/05/2025 14:33

Why is the council tax so low?

I don't know. However, it is likely to rise, how much is unknown.

OP posts:
Leiths · 28/05/2025 14:35

The best budget planner I have found is this one Budget Planner: how to manage your money - MoneySavingExpert it's fairly comprehensive. I'd put everything in (with real figures- it's easy to forget things of just guess and that defeats the object) then try modelling what happens if you end up paying more on the mortgage.

JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:35

TheGirlattheBack · 28/05/2025 14:31

Others have mentioned job loss but there are other reasons why you may lose one of your incomes, ill health, caring responsibilities and sorry to say death.

We always made sure we could afford our monthly outgoings on one of our salaries and it has served us well as one of our DC has major health problems and I had to give up work. We could have had a massive mortgage but thankfully chose not to - we are very cautious people though.

That said if it became too much we would have just moved to something more affordable so you always have options. I think people get too wrapped up in the forever house concept. If it’s your dream house for now and you can afford it now, go for it.

I haven’t read the full thread (too bitter and sarky) so hope I’m not repeating what others have said!

Thank you, health is at the forefront of my mind in considering this.

OP posts:
JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:36

Summerhillsquare · 28/05/2025 14:31

I often wonder this. But it's probably just inheritance, family connections, existing property, the usual things.

Yeah, my mom is a millionaire

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 28/05/2025 14:38

Go for it OP, sounds like you can afford it, and the good news is the nursery fees will be gone in a few years. That will be a huge saving.

My big, lovely house is my everything. We stretched ourselves to get it and I’m so pleased we did. Whilst people are right to be cautious because things can easily go wrong, with redundancy and health etc, but don’t forget in the future things can change that make your life easier.

In the last 10 years both my husband and I have received inheritance which allowed us to wipe quite a bit off the mortgage.

Justsomethoughts23 · 28/05/2025 14:39

Hercisback1 · 28/05/2025 14:07

Senior manager that can't add 5200 and 4200....

We earn together less than one of your salaries, yet our council tax is higher.

Aghast you can't work this out for yourself tbh. Just shows salaries don't reflect common sense.

How is your council tax relevant here? Council tax varies enormously throughout the country.
OP, you could have predicted the jealous nonsense here. I honestly can’t believe people find it so shocking that a couple might earn roughly 100k salary each - this is not uncommon in London especially and not even that high these days?!
We have a similar net pcm, mortgage £3k ish and it’s actually fairly tight with ~2k/mo nursery fees, but we spend a lot on food shops/eating out and holidays, so it really depends if you genuinely don’t/don’t want to do those things IMO. Also, don’t underestimate how high running costs can be and in our case, how every tradesman seems to add a 0!

GentleJadeOP · 28/05/2025 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ooral · 28/05/2025 14:40

GasPanic · 28/05/2025 09:38

Not if you have a 6K a month alcohol and drugs habit.

stop talking about me!

Pipsquiggle · 28/05/2025 14:40

@JaneEyre40
I am trying to find a previous post that was well worth reading.
Ideally your mortgage shouldn't be any more than 25% of your take home household pay. This allows for all your other necessary payments and discretionary spends.

JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:41

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 28/05/2025 14:18

I don't know why people are so het up about this OP, I think it's fine to ask a question!
We earn a similar amount (I appreciate this makes us very privileged etc etc). Our mortgage is 1800 a month, and we have no nursery fees (although we have 2 kids both state school). We wouldn't cope with that level of mortgage, although we do also save 10% of our salaries for the kids, uni fees, maybe house deposit etc and save an additional amount to cover any holidays we want. So if we got rid of all that saving we'd be nearly there.
I think it depends on working through some things. I've always thought we'd state educate forever, our little boy in yr 2 was diagnosed with send, he won't cope mainstream secondary, he also won't get funding or a place at a special school, so we are now saving for private (appreciate we are privileged to be able to do this). This would be untenable with that mortgage.
We also save for unexpected housing issues - boiler cost us 3k, we've had the washing machine and fridge break this month, car trouble, unexpected bill etc.
A larger house will inevitably cost more to heat, light, furnish and more things can go wrong potentially (more bathrooms, more plumbing etc etc)
I suppose what I'm saying is - go through your outgoings, include amounts for unexpected spending/issues, even if you think now that this amazing home is all you need you will end up frustrated working that hard with no holidays, you should probably keep saving for rainy days, what if cost of living goes up, interest rates change etc.
I hate the idea of a house "ruling" life, and not being able to have some of the other things you might want just for the home of your dreams - but maybe you don't mind that.
I'd also suggest making sure state schools locally are good, because you won't have any funds left to supplement or change this if your child needs it.
I'd also suggest looking at uni loans these days, whilst it's a long way off - parents incomes are assessed and at your income your child will not be allowed to borrow enough to live on, so you'll be expected to pay - if you think this might apply later on in life you'll want to save for it too.
Also, whilst it's not ideal, do you have a safety net of any kind. I know I'm very very lucky that parents on both sides wouldn't see us lose our home, they've previously lent money to siblings after a redundancy and a divorce and if we lost our jobs they'd help us out. Obviously you wouldn't want to rely on this, but it's something to factor in.

Thank you for the lengthy reply. There are good state schools in the area and I intend on topping up his education at home as does his Dad. Definitely preparing for a rainy day is something we need to factor in.

OP posts:
JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I'm not talking to anyone specific. If someone had an issue finding a food bank should they not post because not everyone is in their situation? Ridiculous comment.

OP posts:
JaneEyre40 · 28/05/2025 14:48

We're not even married! I'm screwed!

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 28/05/2025 14:51

LeastOfMyWorries · 28/05/2025 14:17

I think what people struggle more with is not that people are on these salaries, but that they are able to earn them while seeming to have a limited grasp on basic budgeting and access to financial advice.

They might not of ever needed to budget before, with high incomes they may of had a relaxed view on budgeting because they’ve always had plenty of money. Now they are getting tied into a mortgage they have to be able to know they have enough. If someone said I’ve only got £1500 a month how can I budget for a £900 mortgage, the responses would be totally different.

AzureShark · 28/05/2025 14:52

MissRaspberryRipples · 28/05/2025 12:39

Surely this is a bait post. No way can anyone on this wage be stupid enough not to know what stoppages are plus further responding they pick up £4,200 and £5,200. That's £9,400 not £10,500

In fairness to the op, I don't think 'stoppages' is a common term AT ALL in the UK.

I work for a major bank (for well over a decade). I have a banking qualification. I've worked (briefly) in HR at that bank. I've spent a long time overseeing departments that deal with financial difficulties - so the main job of many staff I manage is to discuss customer affordability. I'm a frequent flyer on the money boards on here, on MSE forums etc and I'd consider myself generally financially literate to a decent degree.

I worked out what 'stoppages' meant from the wider context of the post - but I had to chuck it in Google to confirm I was right. I've NEVER come across that term before. Not in a career in banking and finance, not personally on many many money forums etc.

Flatulence · 28/05/2025 14:57

Yes you can afford it in principle and still have lots of leftover income.

However, whether you can afford it in reality is different.

If it's a large house then the utility bills will be significant, as will council tax and insurance; especially if the property is worth over £1m.

Larger houses require proportionally more maintenance - e.g. more rooms to decorate, more bathrooms to keep fresh and modern, a larger kitchen to replace, more radiators, a bigger boiler, a larger garden, more fence panels. You get the picture.

Does it need a refurb or any construction work? That is hugely expensive now compared to five years ago.

What else do you spend your money on? If you also like several long-haul holidays a year and have expensive hobbies or love high-end cars or eat out often or have posh gym memberships and PTs then clearly you need to budget for those and your lifestyle may not allow for a larger mortgage.

What are your long-term financial aspirations? If you wish to retire early or develop a passive income or set your child up with a home then you may be wiser to go for a less expensive home and invest money elsewhere. That's something to speak to a financial advisor about.

Finally, are you happy to take on a large mortgage with the risks involved (e.g. if one of you were to lose your job/become too ill to work). That will depend on your own appetite for risk.

As others have suggested it's certainly worth going through your bank and credit card statements and seeing what you actually spend versus what you think you spend. I'd also strongly recommend speaking an independent financial advisor to ensure your lifestyle and appetite for risk marries with your financial goals. You're in an extremely privileged position financially so make the most of it!

MissBx1 · 28/05/2025 15:00

BCBird · 28/05/2025 09:40

Can't believe people have these sort of incomes- another world!!

Agreed. What a braggy and gross thread.