I am biased but I am SO sick of people trotting out 'over-diagnosis' of ADHD and autism.
There was no diagnosis of either condition, except at the absolute extreme end of the autistic specturm, for decades. So of course there will be a surge these days as a) children and teens get correctly diagnosed and b) adults who spent their lives struggling and wondering what was wrong with them finally discover why. That is three generations at least, catching up.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 59. That was six decades of being screamed at for being forgetful by teachers and parents. Missing an A level because I forgot what day the exam was on, so getting a D when I was predicted an A. Losing friends, boyfriends and offending family because I forgot meet ups and birthdays, of being incapable of holding down a steady job. Getting into trouble on the underground because I forgot to renew my weekly pass. of Locking myself out of the house about three times a week. Spending at least an hour every day frantically looking for keys/phone/handbag/travel pass. Not understanding when people said in exasperation: just find a place to keep them and always put them there, because if I could remember to do that when I walked through the door, then there wouldn't be an issue in the first place. Having a chaotic, confused approach to cleaning and tidying, unable to keep on top of the laundry, missing dental and doctors' appointments. Double and sometimes triple booking clients when I first became self employed, and having to cancel at last minute. Getting truly depressed that I knew I was clever and talented in my field but simply couldn't manage the ordinary day to day stuff that went alongside it. Doing jobs sometimes for very long hours, worth a lot of money and not being paid for them because I forgot the final stage of submitting an invoice.
I could go on and on and on. I have had friends smirk and roll their eyes when i say I have been diagnosed. But since taking ADHD medication, I don't forget things. The constant noise in my head (a combination of very aggressive, negative self-talk combined with a weird noise which is like listening to people talking loudly while a television blares, through the walls of a cheap hotel) is gone. The food noise is gone.
DS was diagnosed with autism aged 12. It transformed his life. His brilliant school offered oustanding support, helping him socialise, so for the first time he started to make lasting friendships. All teachers were informed, so they knew to use very direct language (e.g. he used to get in trouble for not doing homework because teachers would say 'Finish that off in your own time or before next class.' He needed to hear: 'Your homework is to finish...' otherwise he had no idea it was homework. We helped him get super-organised. He is now thriving. he went from bottom sets to top sets, from profoundly lonely and low to surrounded by friends, from zero interest in hobbies to getting really good at something he loves, from zero confidence to a real knack of acing job interviews.
DH has not been diagnosed, but after sitting in on DS's lengthy assessment, he realised his answers, which he thought were normal, tallied with DS's. It has saved our marriage. I now understand him far better.
I see my niece suffer so badly, underachieving, deeply distressed and chaotic. It is like watching my own life all over again. But my sister doesn't believe in ADHD. I know Ritalin would transform her life.
It is so easy for people who don't suffer one of these below the radar illnesses like ME, CFS, mild autism, ADHD to sweepingly criticise over-diagnosis. Yes, the world is full of very different types of people. But we are not allowed to be different. There is an expected norm. That people don't forget appointments, do have the energy to keep on top of housework, or to do a 9-5 job every day.
It can't work both ways. It's not okay to say: stop seeking diagnosis. You are within the realms of normal but simply failing at being normal, which is what so many of us spent our lives battling with.