For all those saying it’s society’s “fault” for not being accommodating enough, how would you have it change to accommodate absolutely everyone? I’m genuinely interested
@Sammii82 - Society's getting less flexible, I believe. We increasingly need to classify everything in tightly-defined categories. It's probably not coincidental that this is how computers need data to be organised: 'fuzzy logic' is a popular concept that literally can't be performed by machines; they can only emulate it by processing very many tight definitions and collating the result into something that looks like comprehension.
Fuzzy logic is, however, what human minds do incredibly well: we are flexible, capable of observing patterns and updating our observations on the fly, naturally aware of grey areas and highly adaptive. Creative, adaptive, fuzzy behaviours are anathema to data processing, so they are being defined and filtered. Hence the need for increasingly detailed descriptions and classifications of more and more aspects of human life.
I'm neither a medic nor overly interested in the matter of medicalisation, but can offer concrete examples from my own experience.
I'm 70. I have several diagnosed chronic conditions, one of which is ME-CFS. That's a diagnosis of exclusion and, since it has no known cure (or even cause), is a proper dustbin. In the 1980s I called it 'yuppie flu' and said it was an imaginary illness. Everybody did. All of my symptoms were attributed to depression for about 15 years, which led me to do ever more exercise. I pushed myself until I was developing all sorts of strange symptoms, passing out in the gym - and was given stronger antidepressants, with encouragement to keep up the exercise. Because fitness fights fatigue, right? Half of ME-CFS sufferers are eventually diagnosed by psychiatrists, as I was.
I'm still on the pills (being permanently ill and exhausted is depressing!) but the point of my 'journey' is that the need to apply a diagnosis led directly to behaviour that worsened the condition. In earlier times - up to and including my own childhood - this condition was known by vague names such as nervous exhaustion. Treatment, for those who could afford it, was a long stay at a country retreat, where gentle walks and mineral baths soothed the tired 'nerves' while regular meals and plenty of rest fortified the body. This kind of fuzzy thinking would've benefited me no end, quite possibly preventing the decline that has left me seriously disabled.
My brother and I are certain that we have dyspraxia and ADHD. Neither of us will seek diagnosis because it won't make any difference at our age. We can clearly see how we fit into these 'boxes' - failed schooling when we'd been pegged as shoo-ins for Oxbridge; endless weird travelling experiences because we couldn't figure out what to do with ourselves; the kind of erratic timekeeping that makes Mumsnetters spew hatred; so much more!
One might wonder how either of us managed to have the very successful careers we achieved, given our chaotic natures. Easy: we did jobs that needed creative, agile problem-solvers working in intense bursts with down time in between. All of our employers accepted our 'quirks' as part of the package. I never even got a warning about my abysmal timekeeping ... until the late '90s, when both my brother and I found ourselves colliding with rigid systems that had no space for mavericks. (My last boss actually called me a maverick. He meant it as an insult.)
With rigid systems and their rigid rules excluding everyone but the totally predictable, spaces are being provided via reasonable adjustment. I'd need a diagnosis in order to get the flexibility on punctuality and time off to rest. This would then label me 'dysfunctional' and would cause expectations of failure in areas where, perhaps, I may actually excel.
Thinking about our older relatives, we can see some who'd now be labelled autistic with their extreme social quirks, their extensively catalogued collections and their obsessive special interests. One of our uncles was always starting strange new projects, launching himself up & down difficult mountains on a whim, and loved staying up all night for a lively debate. ADHD, probably. None of these people needed diagnoses because they lived in a society that accommodated people's quirks, allowed them to play to their strengths.
Sorry this has turned out so long. I feel quite frustrated by this aspect of the 21st century, and am saddened that the concept of people simply being themselves is getting lost as we progressively comply with the requirement to define and classify ourselves.