To hate school holidays

[havetobecareful]

I know IABU and should be treasuring this time to make memories but I’m fed up and it’s only Tuesday!

Mine will entertain himself with a busy book and characters, dolls, kids kitchen stuff, chopping plastic Velcro veg, helping in the kitchen with basic things, looking at books, in the garden with a bowl of water, play dough at the table, drawing, magnet tiles. He’s a quiet potterer by nature, like his dad and one of my brothers.

Yeah, my DS would have managed 3 minutes max at all of these before coming and finding an adult. Just didn’t want to be by himself I guess.

You'll probably get a lot of people on here being judgy and saying what did you expect/why did you have children but I honestly do get where you're coming from. It's hard to have no time to yourself. Those are hard ages. Mine are older now (8 and 4) and i still find holidays hard but nowhere near as much as when they were younger.

I have to say I don’t enjoy them either, especially when it has rained everyday since they broke up.

Both aren’t too bad alone. The four year old is exuberant and energetic; lots of park visits and running, exploring, climbing. Fine - except when I have the toddler I’m naturally a lot slower. It’s very difficult because he is impulsive as hell, just bolts and hurtles around with no thought or care. I can keep up fine when it’s just him and wear him out a bit. But the two year old likes to potter, to stop and examine a leaf in intricate detail or to gaze in wonder at a squirrel. Very sweet and there is nothing wrong with either of those things … just that they are very different so I end up either hurrying the two year old up, resulting in crying, or screeching, patsy palmer style at the four year old to stop and wait ‘riccckaaaasy!’ (Thankfully he is not called Ricky.)

The two year old naps; four year old doesn’t. So it is a long day.

Mine are older so it’s definitely easier! For me, I work full time so I enjoy the holidays to spend time with them but it’s far from a break!!!

Mine are older so it’s definitely easier! For me, I work full time so I enjoy the holidays to spend time with them but it’s far from a break!!!

I’m in the same boat and feel exactly the same! It’s just awful to be honest. Mine are 3 and 1. 3 year old is in a preschool so off in the holidays and the 1 year old is still at home full time. I often think about putting them both in nursery because it would be so much easier! But I made this choice for a reason and I just tell myself it can only get better as they get older.

also trying to work on top of all this and it is so hard! Dreading the summer holidays so much!

I know, I’m really feeling anxious about the summer. I know I could cope fine with one of them, it might even be enjoyable, but having two together for six weeks is going to be unbearable.

When mine were 4 and 2 - hard work! Now they’re 6 (although nearly 7) and 4, I am enjoying them more!

I hold on to the fact four and two is easier than three and one!

You could always pay one of them to go elsewhere at a time.

If I could afford it that would be great! 😩

I love school holidays. I work full time (not term time, so I don’t take the full school holidays off as I don’t get that much leave), so it’s nice to spend time with the kids. Leisurely get ups, no school run, no uniform, no homework etc. Very nice pace of life.

I also have a ten year age gap between mine so have always done things one on one.

I have always loved school holidays. It's a privilege to spend time with our children whatever age they are.

I’m with you OP

It is relentless at those ages especially if they, and therefore you, are not sleeping well. They are more grumpy, you are more grumpy. Nothing feels like a joy when you are tired.

Those who had quiet potterer children who could entertain themselves at 4 and 2 and/or perfect sleepers don’t get it.

Don’t feel bad about not enjoying it. Is there any scope for you to work / work more and have them in more full time childcare? Working 4 days a week was ideal for me at those ages.

Leisurely get ups Did you miss that her DC wakes at 5.30?

DD is teething and despite calpol woke repeatedly between 11 and 1 last night, just couldn’t settle her. Then still up at just before 6 <sob>

It isn't easy with those ages.

Sounds as if there is no break if one is waking at night and the other is awake at 5.30. You are running on a near empty tank. Sounds as if you are doing it alone too.

Do you have any family that could help this week. If only to have one if them for a short while- especially if they are winding each other up.

Summer may be easier if you can plan ahead a little and put some support in place. Don't think about it this week ( you are doing more than you can cope with anyway) but start some research soon.

Do you have any mum friends, with children of similar ages. Trips out for walks, to the park, for a picnic etc are easier with another adult. If the older one wants to go at a faster pace than the younger one can manage, two adults means one could go with the older ones for, and one with the younger ones, then catch up and swap over if you need to. Also means the little ones have someone the same age to play with, which they will probably be happy with.

Are there any children's activities provided by your local leisure provider/council etc in the school holidays. Summer info may not be there, but iworth looking now, because there may be something this week you can do.

For us the local leisure provider ( was part of the council but now is a separate company - still really council controlled) offer children's activities all year, plus extra in the summer. The listing currently shows the half term activities, but will update to summer in a few weeks.

Some activities are free, others you pay for. Some you book, others you don't. There are pre school activities too.

Places such as libraries have events on during the holidays which includes little ones.

Sometimes there is information given out by schools etc about what is on. Assuming the 4 year old will be starting school in September, if not already in a nursery attached to a school, can you look at newsletters on the school website at newsletters for any info of summer activities.

When I was in my twenties I had my two dds, they were both easy kids behaved reasonably well and got on great. I loved school holidays as we had extra time together , we would go to interactive museums to cafes or the park. I had tons of energy too.
in my late thirties I had my son, I am exhausted all the time. He’s very demanding/full on, he never sits quietly and plays. It can be very draining and I don’t truely enjoy spending time with him. I also have chronic pain so we are more limited.

I hate the 6 weeks hols, I plan it so I’m prepared. This is this summer’s plan-
6 weeks = 30 days
Holiday - 6 days (we are away Monday-Monday)
Ds stay with grandparents- 4 days (2 visits)
childcare - 3 days (I usually work 1 day a week but I’ve taken some annual leave)
Visit other grandparents- 2 days
Auntie visiting - 2 days
Chill at home days -5days (1 per week)
Dh annual leave to take ds out - 3 days

That leaves 5 days (1 per week) which we will do park /inflatable play/mini golf/cinema /local activities

I love them, but then I’m a teacher so it gives me quality time to spend with my own children rather than just seeing them in the evening after work

It came up on my Facebook memories today and 5 years ago today my kids were 5 and 3.

They painted cardboard in the garden for a few hours....... then they played dress up for a while..... then we went on a bike ride with the 5 year old riding and the 3 year old toddling along with me,

There is lots of free or cheap stuff you can do with them. Charity shops always have cheap dress up items and at 3 my little boy loved dressing up as a princess with his sister 😅

Museums are free and usually have an arts and crafts corner for the kids, have you visited your local sure start or community club? Both of ours have clubs on weekly and during holidays for kids of all ages

I found our local community club extremely helpful.... they told me about the local food bank and you can get 12 items for £2.50..... they usually do nappies for free ect. If your in receipt of any benefits it usually makes you eligible. You could use the money you save on shopping to buy somthing nice for you or the children x

YANBU

DS1 is autistic and does not like being out of routine and loves school. A year-round school would benefit him. DS2 is a chatterbox and a touch loud and DD1 is a toddler, a climber, making messes every time I turn my head and screeches when she isn’t getting her way which sets off DS1 and DH may have the flu and his coughing is also setting off DS1 as well as the wind outside.

DS1 is therefore slamming doors, yelling, and having tantrums which then upsets DD1 who starts to cry or wakes her up from her naps which makes the evenings difficult.

Now that it isn’t windy and raining, we can head outside and hope things will be better.

Already waiting for the dates for SEN summer holiday camp which DS1 enjoys and looking into summer holiday camps for DS2. They really need the structure and trying to set one at home while DD1 is causing havoc isn’t doable especially for six weeks.

I’m with you OP. It’s bloody hard but hang in there, it does get easier.
Could you try to arrange play dates with the older child’s friends for during the summer? They are a pain but hopefully they will be reciprocated and you’re down to just managing one child.
Also just to say I used to dread the summer hols (still do to an extent) and the first week can be hideous with the transition for us but then you all settle down into a groove.
Visit family if you can