To work full time when my son starts school?

[hotchocolatelover1]

I know this may sound like a silly question but I have so much guilt over doing this and wanted to hear what others think and (hopefully) ease the guilt.

I'm currently at uni in my final year and have a graduate job lined up for September working in Parliament. It's a great opportunity career wise and I am looking forward to it a lot, but at the same time, I feel sick to my stomach. For context, I fell pregnant at 19 unexpectedly and am a single mum, dad is hardly involved so not reliable as "support." My family are also not local to me unfortunately so my son will mostly be in breakfast and after school clubs for the foreseeable.

I feel so bad about this because a part of me feels like I'll be failing him when all the other kids get picked up by mum or dad and I'm not there. I'm not sure how true that is re 'all' the kids, I'm sure there are many who use the clubs also, but my brain is just focusing on the ones who don't. I know if I back out of the job and find a part-time, more family friendly role, I won't earn as much and career progression may be more difficult. I am also conscious of building a pension pot as although I am still young, there is a fairly high chance I will remain single forever and I want to be financially comfortable in retirement.

It kind of feels like I'm failing no matter what I do, or maybe that's just my pessimism. Am I being a selfish mother by prioritizing my career over being there for my son? I want him to look up to me as someone who chased her dreams and made a positive impact in life, but at the same time, I don't want him to feel like I abandoned him. Since he was a baby, he's been with me most of the time. Even when I went back to uni, I still only went in 2/3 days a week so neither of us are used to spending 5 days not with one another. I'm worried about it, so if anyone has any encouraging words it would be greatly appreciated!

TIA x

I do believe you appreciate your time together more. Not always the case of course but my mum was a satp and it was awful. She was burned out and didn't have anything going for herself.

I worked f/ T since Dc were 4 months old.

So did most of the Mums I worked with and many mums of DC’s friends.

Amongst a group of 20 somethings who started reception together you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between those who had SAHMs and those who had F/ T WOH MUMS.

A good job with good pay quickly gives you options. I was able to have an after school nanny who picked up from school and did a couple of hours at home.

You may be able to throw some money at the kind of childcare that suits best, and position yourself to work compressed hours / flexible hours/ hybrid etc in due course.

A good job now will give you such great opportunities to do the best for you and your child.

Lots of us have done it… but Mum Guilt is insidious, whatever we do!

Worked ft since son was ten months old.
Single parenthood, no choice other than benefits, a route I didn't want to pursue.
I know lots of people who have worked ft since kids were little, single / married/ with partner