Pls help me get calories into my mum!

[Yannk]

My mum has fallen into a depression (I’m doing my best to manage this - she is getting help from a psychologist and is on medication). She lost my sister and step father in the space of 5 months last year.

She has just stopped eating. One small omelette will fill her up for the day. She looks awful.

She is also diabetic. So I thought meal replacement shakes that were low sugar would be good. But a lot seem quite sugary.

Im exhausted myself. Woke up early with a pit in my own stomach! Spent 40 mins looking for a good option but just getting myself so confused. Don’t want to exacerbate her type 2 diabetes (which she still has despite losing 80+ pounds and barely eating).

Any product recommendations would be SO helpful.

Ufit? Is the one I thought could work

The fortisip supplements also come as desserts or jelly that might be more palatable. Maxijul is a tasteless powder that adds calories to normal.food, soups etc (check with GP first as it is a type of carbohydrate so might not be okay in diabetes)

Can you access a dietitian through GP or other services she accesses? I know community dietetics is difficult to access but even a one off appointment could recommend which fortified drinks/desserts etc could work with diabetes.

Unless I've missed it (far from the bounds of possibility) I don't think you've mentioned your Mums age?

I in my mid 70s and eat one meal a day, around lunch time. After that meal I just don't get hungry. I maintain a decent weight, 8.5 stone at 5'3" ', but that's because I do bugger all to expend my energy (because in the main, I cannot).

My Mum got a bit like this in her final years, she wasn't interested in food and no amount of cajoling changed that. And Mum wasn't dealing with two deaths so close together.

Because your Mum also had diabetes I think a talk to your or her GP on a hypothetical level. It would free your Mums GP from discussing your Mums health.directly if you asked something like "how can I get a diabetic person to eat more without risking their health" .

My adult child manages my diet by stuffing more veg into my diet than anyone would think possible, but I'm not diabetic so they don't have that to be worried about that.

You need to get an urgent appointment with the GP / her Diabetic Nurse specialist to discuss her diet. This weight loss and high blood sugar readings mean the diabeties isn’t being managed appropriately and might need a change to medication. If left unmanaged it will lead to complications. Some carbs are ok and necessary in her diet. Please get her an appointment for a full review. This can help with the depression, management of diabetes and her diet. It will also help your anxiety levels ( which I am sure are through the roof) as you will know what needs to be done and that your DM has had a full check up and is back in the system to manage her diabetes.

I have type 2 diabetes. I was also extremely ill following hospitalization for chemotherapy toxicity in July 2023 and found it really difficult to eat anything. I saw an NHS dietician who told me it was more important for me to eat something rather than to worry about following a diabetic diet. For at least 3 months I survived mostly on chicken noodle soup without the noodles, pringles, and full sugar coca cola, with some hot chocolate drinks made with full fat milk. Definitely not great! I haven't been able to follow a proper diabetic diet since then because I now have permanent gut issues and can't eat anything high fibre, so few vegetables, none uncooked, no brown bread, seeds or nuts, no potato skins, nothing high fat. In fact most of my diet now consists of carbohydrates, but at least I'm eating something. I avoid anything with sugar, but I eat lots of white rice, potatoes, pasta etc.

Your mother definitely needs to see her GP as, quite apart from her diet, she probably needs help with her depression. I quite understand why you're giving her the type of meals you are and on paper they are probably just what she needs, but if she isn't eating then I think you just need to make sure she has what she wants to eat and what she feels like eating, rather than what you think she should be eating. If you are able to fortify whatever she is having to eat or drink with extra protein, vitamins or whatever then even better - but any sustenance is better than no sustenance.