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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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58 replies

LostMum7 · 26/05/2025 19:19

Am currently living with the kids dad my step kids all boys 16 30 and 31 this was my first love we had a son together who’s now 19 and he wasn’t part of his life till the age of 13 he had an affair behind his wife’s back he was 34 I was 18 I adored him I still do in my own way I’ve been back with him 6 years and had another 2 miracles now 3 and ten months but do I stay for there sakes I left for 2 months in homeless accommodation it was horrendous so I told him am coming back which he wasn’t tv happy with but let me my daughter turned 3 25th July f last month and a started nursery hence why I wanted to come home so she was settled but no e that am I hes like jecel and hide still wasn’t a to sleep with me also I just feel lost and dont know what to do I struggled with the kids on my own and he just worships his 16 year old with his ex wife he is great with my daughter and the bond is there with my son but he does nothing with him unless asked

OP posts:
LostMum7 · 27/05/2025 16:43

ilovepixie · 26/05/2025 21:19

Can’t understand a word of that!

No one asked you to grow up

OP posts:
LostMum7 · 27/05/2025 16:47

Bex5490 · 26/05/2025 21:48

@LostMum7 I think you know that this isn’t what you want for your life.

Of course you’re scared. You’ve been taught to be scared because scared people are easier to control.

It sounds like you’ve been through so much that I bet you’re a lot stronger than you think. And you clearly have dreams and goals…

Do you have any people that you trust or can talk to? If not as I’ve said, I really would look into Early Help x

I have my mum but she getting old now but help me a lot. I s end the kids for overnight Just not my baby the now

OP posts:
Laura95167 · 27/05/2025 17:03

LostMum7 · 27/05/2025 16:42

Thanks means alot. The comments are putting me off even replying as am getting judge. Again this morning wasn’t great. I dont want to write everything but tensions where high this morning again there’s so much more to my story i just thought if I got it out then it might me be better and the support has helped a bit.

Tell the story, not everyone is nice and that has to be OK.

But I do think you need to consider some of the tips offered and plan your exit

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 27/05/2025 17:16

He’s really done a number on you. He’s a nasty controlling man who took advantage of you when you were little more than a child, fathered a child behind his wife’s back, and now appears to fully control your life. No wonder you have no confidence and are second guessing yourself. Get away from him asap. Just cut him out and don’t look back. Yes it will be hard coping on your own, but I promise you are far better off as a struggling single mum then you are trapped in a relationship with a controlling abusive man. Do not put your kids through this, get out now.

LostMum7 · 27/05/2025 18:43

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:15

OP
what sort of a life is this for your children?
You sound utterly Incapable of advocating for them
you need to parent up. Fast.

It’s people like you that puts me off but thankfully most people are nice

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 28/05/2025 22:25

LostMum7 · 26/05/2025 21:08

Im not good at spelling or punctuation amd it’s people like you that puts me off posting am looking for advice not be brought down by you

Well said! That post wasn't helpful!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 28/05/2025 22:26

Learn how to use grammar and punctuation

Why don't you learn to be supportive to a woman in trouble?

LostMum7 · 29/05/2025 13:11

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 28/05/2025 22:25

Well said! That post wasn't helpful!

Thanks you

OP posts:
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