To ask you what you wish your (young) child's teacher knew?

[MargotJane]

Please can I pick your brains?!
I am developing some staff training for teachers and I want to try and get them to see that parents know their own children really well. I am a parent of a child with SEND, and so often we are dismissed as 'that' parent (only to be proved right later).
So if you are, or were, a parent of a KS1 child - either SEND or not - what would you like your child's teacher to know about your child? I'm hoping that if I can include genuine quote from parents, it might strike a chord with the teachers...

For me:
He might never smile and barely speak to you, but he has a wickedly dry sense of humour.
He looks like he's coping, but it's a real struggle. It's a big thing for him to ask an adult for help, so if he asks - it's because he REALLY needs it.
He has the vocabulary of a much older child, but he still needs very clear instructions to be able to complete a task.

I think that you are missing the point of the "that" parent thing. Your child may well be all of the things that you list but it's not possible for a teacher to consider that much detail about 30 odd kids in their class. They will probably get there on their own half way through the year but the last thing they need is to be presented with a dossier, and presumably pulled up on the stuff that they don't memorise. "Well we did tell you that blah, blah, blah".

In what capacity are you arranging teacher training? Off your own back as a disgruntled parent or as a professional?

That if he has a cold he can't hear you

I think a lot of these are child specific.

BUT

• If parents have a concern about something, especially about a girl with potential autism then just because you don’t see it in school doesn’t mean it isn’t happening
• when most parents come to see you about an issue eg sensory issues, they’ve researched the issue and tried numerous strategies which didn’t work which is why they’re speaking to you
• Don’t say austistic kids were fine all day in school when they’ve been quiet all day
• Parents know their child well. Ask them what strategies they’ve tried and which ones help.

My austitic child who zones out and you have to use her name to get her attention so she knows the instruction applies to her also has amazing hearing so don’t gossip on the school yard because she will listen in.

Not exactly what you are asking but I teach in a special school. I want to know the following about my children (as a minimum, I want extra info on a bespoke level about each child):
communication- preferred method? Understanding of sign/ symbols/ spoken language?
personal care: what is needed? What is their reaction to being changed/ cleaned etc? Feeding needs?
sensory: triggers? Likes?
awareness of safety?
if dysregulated, strategies (not just allowing them whatever it is they are requesting as that may not be possible)
Contacts for teams working with your child- names if possible not just a service.

That premature babies can suffer educational and learning disadvantages for their whole life. Schools should ask if children were born prematurely, even if no issues are currently known, and look out for support needs.

What kind of training is this? This sounds very unusual for any form of teacher training, plus getting this sort of information from people on the internet doesn't constitute research.
Is this through a university or an Academy Trust?

Thank you!
@Ablondiebutagoody I'm a teacher (and a teacher trainer). It's not about teachers having to learn information about children off by heart. It's about trying to change their understanding/attitude/belief about parents' knowledge of their own child. I'm hoping that a few genuine quotes from parents might get new teachers to check some assumptions, for example that by halfway through the year they will know all 30 kids as well as the parents do...
@DrMadelineMaxwell See above - not 'just' a disgruntled parent. But very much aware of my own limitations and assumptions before I had a child of my own with SEND,
@Notlookingforwardtosummer Child specific is fine!

You're a teacher trainer? In ITT?

teachers realise that parents know their children very well. Teachers have a class of 30 so can’t do things exactly the same. Your post comes across like you don’t realise this.

This. Also, it's such a strange approach for any official teacher training. Any form of TT to support AEN students will not have this as the focus.

We are send an elaborate questionnaire before the school year start where we are to include a few things as in your Op about the child but it doesn’t look like anyone reads it. I suppose the tip will be- if you’re asking us for info, read it at some point of the school year (class is 12-13 kids, with min 2 teachers, not 30).

I mean.,, sometimes parents know their children really well and sometimes they don’t.

i’m a teacher - and I’ve come across many parents who say to me “oh she’s so stupid at maths” and I don’t like to directly contradict them but they are wrong.

or they’ll say “he’s always causing trouble, he’s a nightmare at home” and I’ll have to say (although I try not to use those words) well he doesn’t cause trouble at school.

kids can behave very very differently at school and at home (eg selective mutism) and mum telling me that “she chats away all the time at home” isn’t really helpful when I’m trying to get her confident enough to speak at school.

so yes, parents know what they see at home, and sometimes they see what they want to see (“my little Albert is so gifted”) but it isn’t always helpful in the classroom.

especially the kind of parent that thinks their child is a genius but actually he’s quite behind.

Its the more basic need stuff generally for me, as a Mum I am extremely interested in if my child has friends, is eating enough lunch, feels ill, hurts themselves, are basically safe and happy. Lots of Mums I chat to on the school run worry a great deal about their child’s eating habits or tiredness levels at school.

Being totally honest, as a 23 year old teacher without children, whilst always understanding and friendly, looking back I didn’t fully understand why Mums would be as worried about these things. But now, I totally get it, especially when they’ve just started school.

Teachers realise that their parents know their child very well. Most of the times teachers know these things to and are aware or them. However what parents don't seem to understand these days is teachers have 30 children in their class and do group teaching not tutoring. On top of that parents don't seem to realise children more often than not are different in a group environment than home environment. It is all great to get the information and helps teachers understand the child more but it more often than not isn't very helpful in group teaching or group behaviour management. Parents that are called "that parent" are usually parents that get precious over the minor things that can't always be attended to in a group environment like school.

Instead of this being a group teaching, it may be better that schools have a form parents fill in with information about their child for when children start school. Would be more helpful for Reception teachers to then have all this on one file to read before school starts to help settle the children and create fun activities that engage them and bond with them better on the first half term.

I don't understand why you think teachers assume that parents don't know their own children best.

Then I don't really see the point. I'm not convinced that any teachers would claim to know a child better than their parents. But they probably would develop a better understanding of how the kid functions in a classroom than the parents. Which is obvious and fine. I think that you are trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist.

Thank you to the parents who have commented.
Seems to have touched a nerve with some teachers (and yes, I am one too, with 20 years' experience). Yes, it's unusual. Yes, ITT sessions on SEND don't usually have this as the focus. Maybe that's part of the issue?

Also, as a parent of a kid with SEND, this problem absolutely does exist. My child's primary school effectively refused to complete the forms they were provided with for his autism assessment. He now attends a special school.

No. It's usually about developing strategies for the classroom to support Additional Needs, which the teacher can deploy to good effect. Also learning what different needs emerge in varying circumstances, and how the classroom teacher can work to support progression.
I think engagement from parents is fantastic, but somewhat variable. We should always listen to parents and create a positive partnership, however, this seems to be a strange way to go about it.

Parents may well 'know' their children well, but that does not always translate to knowing what is best (for them or at all) within a whole class environment where everyone needs to learn.

They may also think they 'know' their kids, but the kids go out of their way to avoid conflict with them and actually the teacher is who knows part, or more, of any given picture.

It seems like most parents need help understanding that they choose a school for their kids and need to allow the school and its staff to do their jobs, not teachers who need training on the whims of entitled parents.

I’m a teacher and a parent, so I’ll accept my thanks as a parent as for some reason you don’t seem to want teachers commenting.

You haven’t touched a nerve. Your post was rather ignorant and many people have pointed that out.

This is probably what they wanted.

I’ve got 25 years teaching experience. Can I have an opinion?

I've filled in many many referral forms and also refused to fill in forms before. If I don’t see certain behaviour in class I can’t comment on it.