To ask you what you wish your (young) child's teacher knew?

[MargotJane]

Please can I pick your brains?!
I am developing some staff training for teachers and I want to try and get them to see that parents know their own children really well. I am a parent of a child with SEND, and so often we are dismissed as 'that' parent (only to be proved right later).
So if you are, or were, a parent of a KS1 child - either SEND or not - what would you like your child's teacher to know about your child? I'm hoping that if I can include genuine quote from parents, it might strike a chord with the teachers...

For me:
He might never smile and barely speak to you, but he has a wickedly dry sense of humour.
He looks like he's coping, but it's a real struggle. It's a big thing for him to ask an adult for help, so if he asks - it's because he REALLY needs it.
He has the vocabulary of a much older child, but he still needs very clear instructions to be able to complete a task.

Conversely, teachers only looking for the norm and dismissing a parent's feelings about their child can lead to SEND being ignored. I knew they were both smart, the second even more so - but it wasn't until university via a BTEC that anybody in education even acknowledged the possibility of neurodiversity.

Teachers also should be encouraged to trust support staff - the person on Reception sees a different side to parents and children, for example - and if they've got a feeling about something or someone, it's worth listening because people can behave very differently to somebody older, in a different role or if they see them as lesser in some way.

My dd’s teacher once said he hadnt noticed any anxiety in her she is always smiling at him. I said look carefully as she often smiles but you can tell by her eyes she is in a blind panic. Next time i say him at pick up he stopped me and told me he saw it not two weeks after and now he knows what to look out for.

Honestly. It won’t make any difference. You have to live it to get it. Truly. I became a far better teacher when I had my autistic child. I’ve never been able to help any other teacher ‘get it’ despite this coupled with 25 years in the job.

Excellent, it's always good to flag these things, although he should really have been more aware, and looking for all the indicators.

That's a shame. Many teachers are very capable at supporting children with various needs, including the complexities of autism.

Good teachers work with parents to discuss the children in their care, accepting parents have a different perspective and being open to learning whilst aware their capabilities in a class of 30 are finite.

Why are they not learning this at the teacher training colleges?

Interesting. I'm also a teacher, secondary, but I went into the profession AFTER my severely disabled son became an adult.

Couple of things, parents with SEND kids know their child as their child but don't really know them as learners in a classroom. I think this is where some of the misunderstandings frequently occur.

Everything you've written would be in an EHCP or learning plan in my environment. I read them. What makes you think other teachers don't? Seems as if your actual conversation needs to be with SENDCOs and how they collect/collate/distribute information - unless you think every teacher should have this conversation with every single parent multiple times throughout the school year massively increasing their workload.

All teacher trainees are learning this, and have quite rigorous testing and observation on all aspects, such as EAL, AEN, PP etc.
They can't pass without achieving a certain standard. My next set of observations on our students are about effective progression for the AEN students, and how they ensure inclusion.

Yes, very good points.

I'll tell you what I would have wanted.

For teachers to tell me the truth, clearly.

I can't see what you can see in school.
I only have experience of 2 children, you see 100s.
Wrapping stuff up in fluffy language so much so that even as a concerned parent I was reassured and thought my concerns must be wrong was totally unhelpful.

I flagged both my DC up in primary and was dismissed every time.

This shouldn't need to be said but - you can be bright and have SEN.

Are you a teacher? A teacher should definitely know that much about the children in their class. I could tell you that much about all of mine. And more.

Primary school yes, secondary non core, unrealistic expectation.

I think you're coming across as a bit patronising OP. Parents do see a different side of the child, and that information is important. Teachers also see a different side to a child, and can't comment on behaviour they don't see.

With the best will in the world, remembering that much information on 30 kids in September is impossible. By December having got to know them, you're at a much better point. I think we set teachers up to fail expecting them to know this stuff by magic, learning takes time.

Judging by some of the responses on this thread, I think you might be right...

Come off it. By the end of the first couple of days I would pretty much know their names. Definitely not 5 x 30 bits of additional information about their sense of humour etc. provided by the parents. Crazy.

I’ve got 300 different kids to teach this year. I am also the parent of a ND child. You sound patronising.