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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding on daughters 1st bday?

54 replies

Magicboobies · 26/05/2025 15:48

We have been invited to a child free wedding of my husbands friend from university on my daughters first birthday. She is our 3rd DC.

I am in a dilemma what to do. We don’t spend a lot of time without the children and I know DH would really like to see his old friends. DD has only been left with max a few hours without me on couple of occasions so far, and is breastfed on demand.

His parents would be able to mind the children (they live 1.5 hours away from the venue, but is 4 hours away from our house).

I’m feeling super guilty that I really don’t think I want to leave DD on her birthday. I’m aware she won’t know. But also aware if I leave her on her birthday when not left much she will spend plenty of time of that wanting me and seems unfair to do on her birthday too.

I’m personally not bothered at all about the wedding but I know DH will love to go and see his old friends.

so wise mums net users -
YABU = go to the wedding
YANBU = celebrate with DD and kids

thanks ❤️

OP posts:
Fruitbat99 · 26/05/2025 23:12

CarpetKnees · 26/05/2025 22:38

No dilemma for me, or for the majority of posters on here.

Everyone in our family has celebrated their birthdays on days that weren't their actual birthday for all sorts of reasons over the years. The nice part is celebrating. The fact it is a week (or on occasion even a month) later isn't as important as being able to celebrate with the people you want to celebrate with.
That's as adults, as teens, as children. Obviously as babies, no-one would even have been aware.

As a Mum, same as for dh as a Dad, we would have no issue going to a wedding and doing the birthday another weekend.

Show quote history

Good for you. I'm referring to the people it is a dilemma for. Mums. Rarely dads.

Original poster
Magicboobies · 27/05/2025 08:07

CowboyJoanna · 26/05/2025 20:52

YABU, its his best friend let him go

Babies don't know it's their birthday. I can't say I really celebrated any of my childrens' first birthdays. It didn't traumatise them Grin
Besides if you really REALLY want the whole posh affair of photographers snapping twenty photos of your baby smashing a cake to pieces, then there's no harm doing it another day.

Yes he will go either way I think. Just still not sure about me. It’s not his best friend it’s someone he used to hang out with 8 years ago.
I didn’t say anything about a cake smash not my thing haha

OP posts:
Original poster
Magicboobies · 27/05/2025 08:23

BlueMum16 · 26/05/2025 21:05

Can DH go the wedding day and you meet him for the evening? If the ILs will have the children overnight you get to do both.

I couldn’t leave her overnight as neither her or toddler sleep through, I think I’d prefer the day bit than the evening as I’m not a big drinker but that could be an option to do day ans leave for evening.

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 27/05/2025 16:56

Fruitbat99 · 26/05/2025 23:12

Good for you. I'm referring to the people it is a dilemma for. Mums. Rarely dads.

Show quote history

.........and I am pointing out that, whereas you and the OP seem to think it is a dilemma, that can't be 'rounded up' to imply that all Mums would.

Most people on this thread - presumably most of us Mums - have said it wouldn't be an issue at all.

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