A classic soft play AIBU

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

So at soft play today, there was a football box section with two goals on either side.
probably about five or six 3-4 year olds in there and a couple of older kids around 6 or 7.
the older kids were absolutely belting the ball about really hard. Mums were stood on the side telling them to keep the ball low and the kids were just pretty much ignoring them. After the 3rd time one of my two 4 year olds got belted on the side of the head with the ball I said to the mum ‘can you take him out?’ as it was the same boy who was doing it and he wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying when she was asking him to be more careful. It was a knee jerk thing for me to say cause I was pissed off but in my head I was thinking, he’s not doing as he’s told, if that was my child I would have removed them from the situation or at least got them apologise. He definitely wasn’t doing it on purpose he was just kicking the ball too hard.
My kids were taking shelter in one of the goals at one end as the balls we’re just coming from everywhere at high speeds and she said the kids were unable to play football because mine were sat in the goal, there was a goal the other side but I kinda see her point but they were scared to come out as they kept being twatted by the ball.
Anyway, me and the other mum ended up having a chat which turned quite heated, I kept saying to her I’m not trying to have an argument, it’s just mine was on the floor crying and her child was STILL booting the ball around at high speed. I ended up just getting mine out of there, which I probably should have just done in the first place tbh without mentioning anything.

Looking back, I genuinely don’t know whether I was being unreasonable or whether the other mum was for not taking her child out when he was ignoring what she was saying.

The football section of soft play is the wild west. Best avoided by 4 year olds.

Football section is for playing football. Not sure why any children were sat in a goal.

Who got there first? We're the 7 yr old there and then your 4 yr old went and sat in goal? Or were your 4 yr old sat in goal and the the 7 yr old came and started playing football.

When my boys were that age I didn’t allow them into that area (unless it was empty) as it’s inevitable they will get hit by a ball and that they would annoy older children trying to play football.

You should have removed your children. It’s hardly unreasonable that balls are flying around in that particular area.

Ours were in there first in the main bit, then the other kids came in and after they’d been hit a couple of times mine were hiding in the goal so they didn’t get hit again.

It's tricky - 7 year olds have a lot more power behind their kicks than a 4 year old, but not necessarily the ball control to direct it properly. I agree with PP that it's best to avoid the football section when they are smaller - nobody at fault necessarily, just different ages using it differently.

I'm afraid I agree with the pp - that area is for kicking the ball - if they were doing it near the slides or in the younger children's area then your displeasure would be warranted. If your children wanted to play football but weren't able to join in with the 'big' children then they needed to wait their turn and go in when they came out.

Seen your update that your children were there first. The fact remains, the football area is for football, if they didn't want to play (football does sometimes mean getting hit with the ball) then they needed to come out of that area.

But the goal is exactly where kids would most often be aiming to kick the ball, often at speed, so it’s a silly place to hide!

the older kids were using the football area to play football. It’s often full of older kids and hard kicks so tbh I wouldn’t let mine in there when they were little. I think you should have encouraged yours to play elsewhere, especially if they were just sitting anyway not actually playing football themselves.

yes the older ones probably could have been playing a bit more carefully but you can’t control that. They can’t be in the baby bit, they’re in an age appropriate area so not really doing anything wrong IMO.

I think the football zone at softplay is sort of designed to let kids go mad and kick the ball as hard as possible.

I'd have taken your kids out and gone to play somewhere else if they'd already had a turn in the football area. You should definitely have taken them out once they were scared and hiding in the goal! It's absolutely mad that you just stood and watched your kids hiding, frightened in the goal and didn't go in and get them tbh.

You step into that football zone all bets are off, it's the wild west in there and there are no rules

The older ones were using the area for what it was meant for and to be fair at 7 don’t usually realise how hard they are kicking the ball.

if they were deliberately aiming for the younger ones you have a point.

But as soon as your little ones sat in the goal, I would have been removing them as it is obvious what would happen and was also preventing the area being used as intended.
(it’s the equivalent to a kid sitting at the bottom of the slide and preventing anyone going down it)

Sorry, I agree with others. That area is for playing football in. You should have taken your kids out.

Your kids were the problem. They shouldnt have been in there, and when they realised it was too boisterous for them, they absolutely shouldnt have been hiding in the goals. What did you think was going to happen? You should have removed your kids.

I don’t necessarily think that the kid was doing anything wrong, he certainly wasn’t doing it on purpose and wasn’t being a tear away or anything he just wasn’t listening when his mum was telling him to keep the ball low and be careful. If it was mine I would have told them if they can’t do as they’re told then they’ll have to come out of the section. I think that’s the main thing that bothered me is she was telling them but not doing anything about it when they were completely ignoring her. It looks like I may have been wrong then though! We don’t go soft play too often (I wonder why 🥲) so I don’t know the etiquette, so to speak.

We have one of those in our local soft play centres. I have lost count the amount of arguments I have seen in there because younger kids want to just sit there or wander around it. It’s a football section so of course balls will fly around from all angles. Also usually the kids set up teams so will need both goals.
No one should be in the section unless they want to play football. There are other sections of the soft play where kids can go without balls so stick to them areas.

YABU. The 7 year olds were using the area for its intended purpose and hiding in the goal was ridiculous

You can’t control other peoples kids. You should have just taken your kids out as soon as it was more than they could handle.

The younger kids should have been taken out so the 7-yr olds could play foot ball - which is what it's there for. And I have a 7 and a 4yr old so see both points.

She was only saying that to try and draw your attention to the fast balls and get you to sort your own kids out. They shouldnt have been in there and sitting in the goal was out of order. But not for them, they’re kids. You’re the adult and should have removed them.

To be honest the other parent sounds like she was trying to be polite by telling her child to be careful when really she was thinking you need to remove your kids if they don’t intend to use the area for what it is for.

Asking a 7 year old to be careful and keep the ball low is inappropriate. I highly doubt most (if indeed any!) 7 year olds have the necessary ball skills to keep the ball low and gentle in a fairly busy enclosure.

Both that mum and you were being unreasonable- not the 7 year olds!

Unless in instances of targeted aggression or really excessive boisterousness, at soft play it's for parents of smaller children to guard their children not for older kids to be on their guard the whole time. You can't allow your DC to play amongst older children in an area with flying balls and then complain when they get hit by them.

I would also tell my older one to be more careful, if I spotted him throwing balls around smaller ones, but I would secretly think it was on you to protect your child.

When mine were under 5, I’d avoid soft play altogether when the schools were out. Bigger children can’t always accommodate wee ones. A 7 year old is much bigger than a 4 year old but often still lacking the maturity to play in a way that accommodates smaller children.

they were literally sat in the goal for the duration of the conversation I was having with their mum cause they’d just been hit with the ball again for the 3rd time and were hiding, so maybe a few minutes, max, before I took them out after speaking with the other mum, I think a lot of other people are stuck on that, I wasn’t stood about not doing anything, the kids were having a good time in there and running around, they just kept getting hurt so that’s when I said something.

Also, it was the majority young kids in there, there were only 2 older ones so mine weren’t the only ones who were younger