A classic soft play AIBU

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

So at soft play today, there was a football box section with two goals on either side.
probably about five or six 3-4 year olds in there and a couple of older kids around 6 or 7.
the older kids were absolutely belting the ball about really hard. Mums were stood on the side telling them to keep the ball low and the kids were just pretty much ignoring them. After the 3rd time one of my two 4 year olds got belted on the side of the head with the ball I said to the mum ‘can you take him out?’ as it was the same boy who was doing it and he wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying when she was asking him to be more careful. It was a knee jerk thing for me to say cause I was pissed off but in my head I was thinking, he’s not doing as he’s told, if that was my child I would have removed them from the situation or at least got them apologise. He definitely wasn’t doing it on purpose he was just kicking the ball too hard.
My kids were taking shelter in one of the goals at one end as the balls we’re just coming from everywhere at high speeds and she said the kids were unable to play football because mine were sat in the goal, there was a goal the other side but I kinda see her point but they were scared to come out as they kept being twatted by the ball.
Anyway, me and the other mum ended up having a chat which turned quite heated, I kept saying to her I’m not trying to have an argument, it’s just mine was on the floor crying and her child was STILL booting the ball around at high speed. I ended up just getting mine out of there, which I probably should have just done in the first place tbh without mentioning anything.

Looking back, I genuinely don’t know whether I was being unreasonable or whether the other mum was for not taking her child out when he was ignoring what she was saying.

In half term/ school holidays I avoid soft play with little ones, older children will be more physical. I'd be moving mine to another area.

Maybe the older ones had gone to play in the ball area to avoid the younger ones elsewhere?

I mean in the ball area there were about 6 or 7 three to four year olds and only 2 older ones. There were more older ones outside of the ball room if anything. I’m not saying I’m not wrong, I’m just saying there are some things people are taking from my post which weren’t an issue.

Yabu. The footie bit is for playing football. As PP said, it's the wild west!

Running around playing football? Because that is not the place to be running around... Unless you want hitting in the head with a football

Sitting in the goal is akin to that annoying kid that sits at the top of the slide for ages.

im also not sure how sitting in the goal would protect them from being hit when it's precisely where the ball will be aimed.

I would've taken him out if I was that mum.

And I would've told you to take your kids out of the goal, if they don't want to get hit by the ball.

Of course it wouldn't.

It sounds like it was part of the fun.

If they were truly scared they would've left the area or shouted for mum.

Were your kids actually playing football in there, OP?

The football bit in our local soft play is up on a second floor behind the rest of the soft play and is completely hidden from view. Often I have crawled up there to find my child being pummeled by flying footballs. I kind of feel that it's natural selection though, they soon learn to avoid it or be quick enough to dodge the balls.

They shouldn’t have been sitting in the goal. Mine are teenagers now but I used to hate hate hate it when parents of smaller children at soft play used to try to stop 6/7/8 years old from playing in an entirely age-appropriate way. Had it in a playground too once. Dd1, 4 at the time, was swinging on a bar. Whole idea of the equipment was just that. A boy of around 1 tried copying. The mum told me to stop dd from doing that. I refused. Instead of parenting her child and distracting him with something age-appropriate she removed him from the park, loudly declaring that they had to go “because the mean lady was not stopping her child from setting a bad example”.

Weirdly I saw her at a local soft play a couple of months later. Her ds was in a ball pool marked 3+. She was sitting down. He was smacking other kids. Another lady told her to supervise her child. The mum in question started shouting at the toddlers in the ball pool to look out for her ds as he was only a baby. Then sat back down.

I am afraid, op, you are completely in the wrong here.

Your kids were ‘sheltering’ from footballs…. in a football goal?? 😂😂 hilarious! They weren’t playing with the balls (too busy sheltering!) so get them to play elsewhere.

What are the soft play rules in the football area?

the 7 year old might not have been listening to his mum, but so what? I know he seems HUGE to you, but he's only 7, he should be able to play as he wishes within soft play rules if he's not deliberately hurting others.

Initially yours were enjoying themselves despite getting hit by the ball, time to play in another area once they started hiding in the goal area.

you were being OTT asking her to remove her child if he was playing within soft play rules.

if a child isn't playing within SP rules take the easy option & move your child OR take it up with SP staff.

In an ideal world, if you ask your child to do something, and they don’t, then there are consequences. I’m with you on that bit.

But, the parent gets to choose the consequences- not some other person at soft play. Telling the other parent that they needed to take their kids out, for what appeared to be using the space for what it is intended is over stepping. Telling another parent how they deal with discipline is also overstepping.

The other parents comments may have actually been partly aimed at you. It’s a bit spineless, but I’ll sometimes tell mine to ‘mind out and slow down, there are little ones around’ and what I actually mean is do that as best you can (knowing it’s limited) but also ‘parent of little one, you might want to rethink where your child is’.

I think you needed to get your toddlers out of there. The football spot is for football - either play or go elsewhere. Getting hit in the head with a football (presumably a soft play football anyway!) is just... what happens in football really.

And the second anyone tried to hide in a goal I would have gone to get my child out (while giggling cause honestly that's just a funny instinct)

Younger kids are strangely attracted to getting in the way of older kids, and they then get hurt by them and go cry to their parents, who tell the older children off or ask them to be more careful. I'm not saying this was the case with your child, OP, but it's a dynamic I've seen on playdates a few times. The more on-the-ball parents separate the younger siblings from the playdate children if everyone isn't getting on well, so the playdate children can get on with what they're doing without interruption. So give the older children somewhere to play, give the younger children somewhere to play, and if sharing a space take turns if they can't play together.

You know those threads moaning about older kids in the toddler section? This is the same the other way.

Older children need space away from little ones.

Were the 4 year olds playing football or running around? Either way when it got a bit wild I would have taken them out. The other mum was making am effort to keep football calm it just wasn't working so I wouldn't have given her a hard time about it.

And were all the little ones in there crying/injured/hiding in the goal or was it just your two?

The football area is for playing football and is usually aimed at older kids, who have a right to play football there. I don't understand why you didn't take your child out if he didn't want to play?

It’s not the other child’s responsibility to modify how they were playing because your four year old couldn’t handle it.

You’ve said yourself they weren’t doing anything wrong…

as soon as you saw your child hiding in the goal you should have taken them out. They are too young for that area.

YABU, sorry

I know it's annoying when you have little ones, but it's a football "pitch" it's literally designed for kids to kick balls. Yours are too young, you remove them.

as the balls we’re just coming from everywhere at high speeds
you saw that, you should have got your child out. One of always going to receive a ball somewhere

'Was it scary in the football bit 4YO?' 'Yeh the bigger boys were kicking the balls hard' 'Yes I could see that you were frightened. Unfortunately that's what football is like and older kids who understand the rules more like to kick at the goal and practice kicking hard. Probably not the best idea to hide in the thing they're trying to aim at it is it buddy?' 'Erm no' 'what do you think you should do next time?' 'Ermmm tell you mummy' 'orrrrr...' 'errrr leave the football pitch' 'Perfect! It's safe to play in there when it's just you but when there's bigger kids playing if you don't actually want to play you maybe need to leave otherwise it's really on you if you get hurt'

It's ok to advocate for your kids but IMO it's really important to teach them to problem solve and make good choices independently too.