Ex-DH has stolen my vibrator!

[Absolutesockdrawer]

My ex-DH and I have (had!) a good relationship, to the extent that we help each other other by, for example, pet-sitting when the other is away.

I have just been away for three nights with the DC, and DH has been cat-sitting. We got back last night, and this morning first thing the DCs went off to ex-DHs for their regular couple of nights. He came round to pick them up and give me my spare key back, behaving absolutely normally.

I went upstairs to get ready for the day but wanted to use my vibrator before my shower so went to where I keep it. It is well hidden. DH knows where the hiding place is because when we lived together it was kept there.

It has gone. The only explanation is that he has taken it. I definitely put it back there when I used it last.

I am fucking furious. How dare he?? And why? Is it some kind of joke? Does he want me to ask him for it back?! I am minded to text him but am angry and would be embarrassed. Should I just leave it?! What a knob! What a juvenile, stupid thing to do! And he was in my house half an hour ago like butter wouldn’t melt.

Yeah if he's stealing from you, you'll have to find someone else to look after your pets.

If you're absolutely certain, it's time to properly separate and not help each other out as he's clearly got no respect for you and can't be trusted. Pointless confronting him as he'll just deny it. Just go non contact and put the whole thing behind you.

Can’t go properly non-contact cos of the DCs but that’s the last time he’s coming in my house without me in it. Unbelievable.

Are you sure the DC couldn't have found it?

Maybe he wants to humiliate you by forcing you to ask for it back. Also it means he's been through your drawers and personal stuff whilst dogsitting.
Sack him for dogsitting and I'd also change the locks as you dont know he hasn't made a copy of the key.

I’m sorry @Absolutesockdrawer I am laughing, not at you but at your ex. What a strange thing to do.

I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of mentioning it. I would act completely normal, just don’t let him in the house alone again…and replace the vibrator 😉

Report it to the police.

No point mentioning it to him, he’s expecting you to do that. Instead stay quiet and when he mentions it just say you assumed you’d left it at your new friends house :)

I think it’s really quite creepy, not funny at all. Change your locks op.

Would be amazed if DCs could’ve found it. It’s high up (for them) behind things, and I doubt it would look appealing to them.

Change the locks
Don't ask him to pet sit again
Buy yourself a new toy

Say nothing, simply act as if nothing untoward has happened.

Oh that’s a great idea! Ha!

I would definitely check to make sure you haven't put it anywhere else. I certainly wouldn't lower myself to ask for it back, and if that's why he's done it, then he'll have a long wait! Buy another one. Say nothing. Stop him from coming into your home when you're not there. Find someone else to feed your cats. If he's capable of that, then he's capable of nosing through paperwork, and even possibly taking a cut of your door key! I'd be changing the front door lock as a precaution!

Buy a new one hide in different location .
Say nothing
He wants you to engage in sex talk with him. If you want to then mention it. If you do not then don't
It is not a police matter

Put a note in the "hidden" place for him to find if he does this again

Theft is a police matter.

Can't wait for the update where OP finds it and remembers that she'd actually left it there last time and H hadn't nicked it...

Yeh I think some new boundaries need to be put in place. This is very strange behaviour, I would also change the locks. I wouldn't confront him because he did it for a reaction... and I love the PP suggestion that if he mentions it then you say you thought you'd left it at your friend's house, brilliant!

I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of asking.

Yeah right. Bet they'd have a right laugh over that one.

@Absolutesockdrawer go to your facebook and tag him on a post! "why did you steal my vibrator when you left, Dear harold, john ?!" do not write on his wall or pm him!! embarass the hell out of him!! if he denies it all you have to say is, I wondered why we used so many batteries!!

But they COULD have found it. Kids take all sorts of strange things.

So I wouldn't go accusing the ex just yet...

Or if you're sure it's him then buy him his own one for his birthday if he likes them so much. Send him an anonymous one in the post every year on his birthday.

Say nothing.
Change your locks.
Don’t allow him over the doorstep ever again.

I ageee with a PP, a man who will do this will also be nosing through your paperwork, sniffing your knickers in the washing basket and will have probably got himself a key cut.

What a fucking creep.

I wouldn't he most probably wankef over her smell. Can you imagine what the police would think.

Change your locks.
Buy another one.
Don’t mention it to him. If he’s taken it, you’re giving him the satisfaction and confirming he still has power/control over you. If he hasn’t, you’ll sound insane.

You can replace it as nothing happens and let him cat sit again as per normal. If you found it missing again after he cat sits then you’d be 100% sure that he steals. Then the action plan is clear after that.