Ex-DH has stolen my vibrator!

[Absolutesockdrawer]

My ex-DH and I have (had!) a good relationship, to the extent that we help each other other by, for example, pet-sitting when the other is away.

I have just been away for three nights with the DC, and DH has been cat-sitting. We got back last night, and this morning first thing the DCs went off to ex-DHs for their regular couple of nights. He came round to pick them up and give me my spare key back, behaving absolutely normally.

I went upstairs to get ready for the day but wanted to use my vibrator before my shower so went to where I keep it. It is well hidden. DH knows where the hiding place is because when we lived together it was kept there.

It has gone. The only explanation is that he has taken it. I definitely put it back there when I used it last.

I am fucking furious. How dare he?? And why? Is it some kind of joke? Does he want me to ask him for it back?! I am minded to text him but am angry and would be embarrassed. Should I just leave it?! What a knob! What a juvenile, stupid thing to do! And he was in my house half an hour ago like butter wouldn’t melt.

I’m not gonna buy another one for him to nick! He’s never coming in the house again!

😂😂
Not laughing at you at all . At him ..
He did that now I’d say in a moment of jealousy..
Doesn’t like the thoughts of you having fun on your own or his mind going a million miles an hour , playing with someone else ….

🙄

Sorry OP but it's made me laugh. When splitting with my ex, he said he was going to post mine to my solicitor. Told him go to go ahead, carry on 🤣

You can't say nothing to him he'll embarrass you.

Are you 100% sure it’s him? Only you know your ex😂

What do you think the police will do, exactly?

There was no break-in and the OP doesn’t actually have any evidence to suggest it was taken. Even if she did, the police aren’t going to take out a search warrant to search a man’s house for a lost Rampant Rabbit.

OP, assuming your ex really did take it, he’s a complete weirdo. I have no idea whether I’d say anything to him or not, to be honest, but I’d certainly be making sure he was never alone in my house again!

They'll do bugger all for low value items. There's not even any evidence of theft, so they'd probably do nothing if it was a higher value item.

You sure your cat hasn't buried it, or taken it round the neighbours as a gift?

The next time you see exDH, mention that you're a bit sad as you were seeing someone but you've had to break up because he only liked sex when you stuck the vibrator up his arse, but now you can't find it so he split up with you.

OP, I feel your vibrator is likely to 'pop up' somewhere you might not have expected it to some day. If it does then just lie back & enjoy it I guess!! 😉