Should grandparent speak like this infront of a child?

[Namechangerydoo]

Long story short, child age 7 with grandparent yesterday until tomorrow, grandparent rarely bothers usually. Child cried to come home and grandparent has phone partner giving it “f this I am not having them again. Ruined my effing weekend. We’re coming home” infront of my child while they are crying in the background.

Felt very passive aggressive infront of my child who was upset.

Why were they staying so long when they don't usually see them?

2 nights? Because grandparent phoned and asked to take them away

Don’t leave your child with them again.

Unnecessary language.

They see them every few months, have stayed at their house a few times overnight. Last time was a year agoish. Been to their caravan where they haven’t been before and child was probably home sick

Just go and pick up your child and keep them away from these grandparents. They clearly can’t cope and don’t have any positive contribution to your child’s happiness and development.

Nope. Not ok. Rude and unkind.

Not ok, don’t let them have grandchild again and when asking in future, remind them

We had similar about a year ago. DD told me she cried herself to sleep as she wanted to call me and they refused, told her to go back to bed and left her to cry. She no longer stays or even goes out for the day with them anymore

I just can't imagine a grandparent with an attitude like that.

thank god they don't usually bother with her. If she was mine they wouldn't be seeing her again.

what has your partner said?

Yes I was going to pick them up then she said she is packing and coming home , so would be quicker for them to come than for me to go all the way there and back and they will definitely not be around her unsupervised again after this

I would never let them see, let alone have them stay with that grandparent again. Disgusting behaviour!

I'd be upset too and I'd not let this grandparent have the child on their own again. Now I'm not particularly fussed if someone casually drops the f bomb infront of my child (unless excessively) but it sounds aggressive and grandparents behaviour really frightened your child so I'd be supervising visits with this grandparent until 1. Child feels safe round this grandparent and 2. Grandparent recognises that they was out of order and work on their self regulation skills so this doesn't happen again.

Poor child,definitely needs to come home and not stay there again!!
Edit to say I have never sworn in front of my children and they are all adults now.

I think it's very odd to pack them off for multiple nights with a grandparent they hardly see and who clearly isn't interested in them. You shouldn't have sent them and they absolutely shouldn't have said that in front of them.

No one is going to respond ‘oh yes, of course it’s a lovely way to speak to a child’ are they?!?
anyway, it’s all moot, you obvo won’t send them again and the gp doesn’t want them again, so everyone’s on the same page.

I would say aggressive, not just passive aggressive!

@Enthusiasticcarrotgrower Exactly what I came to say too!

@Namechangerydoo I’d be furious! What did your partner say to GP when they said that?

I agree with others though - very strange to send your kid away for multiple nights with people they barely see. Poor child is probably really uncomfortable 😔

Honestly I thought it would be nice form them, I asked if they wanted to go and they were really excited and every time they did see the grandparent they were really happy.

I’d cut this dumpster fire of a holiday short, I’d leave first quickly, collect my child, thank the grandparents for the ‘weekend’ and chalk it up to experience.

They’ll be back within the next hour. So thanks for all replies, I wasn’t sure if I was biased they won’t be going again.

Not ok, don’t let them have grandchild again and when asking in future, remind them

^^ this! Absolutely never again.

I also thing it’s plain aggressive, not passive aggressive.

I think you were unreasonable to send your child.

They clearly don't know your child well enough to have them for long period of time or overnight.

Grandparent called my child a snob all because they were dressed and groomed well. Then, when I pulled her up on it she said that it wasn’t a rude comment and I had taken offence to it simply because my culture is different to hers. Can you believe that?

@Namechangerydoo is this your parent or your partner's parent???