To be uncomfortable with the bedroom arrangements

[NeedingAGoodNap]

My partners mother is planning an overseas ski trip later this year and has kindly invited myself and my 4 year old daughter to come along. It will be a large group going and I am not feeling entirely comfortable with the room arrangements. The idea is that all the children (ages 1,2,4,5) will share a room.

However, this is where I might be unreasonable, I really don't know some of the adults going and have only meet them once or twice. They are my partners step siblings and their partners. My partner did not grow up with these step siblings so also does not know them very well. Because of this I don't feel comfortable with my daughter being in a seperate bedroom away from me with basically strangers in the house.

Would I be unreasonable to have her share a room with my partner and me instead?

She knows my partner well and is looking forward to her moving in soon. So thankfully my dd will be comfortable sharing a room with us

Sharing a room with you and your new partner…fine. Sharing a bed with you and your partner (who isn’t her parent)…I wouldn’t do that personally. So you’ll need to work out how she’s going to share a room but not a bed with you.

Pull in a mattress from the kids bunk room?

Partner at one side, then OP, then child?

Like hell would i allow that! I wouldn't go.

Off pisté but what is the point of taking children of those ages skiing?

Tbh I don't think it's ideal for your child to share a bedroom with your partner that isn't their parent, and definitely not the same bed.

Maybe the parents want to ski?

If you want to sugar coat it say she’d wake up and come looking for me, she usually does and I don’t want her waking the little ones. (My 3yo wakes up every night about midnight and comes into our bed) . Obv get your dp to agree with the story. I have never had a 1 or 2yo who would sleep in a random room with other kids either. We did have all 5 of us in one room at a friend house and my then 8yo asked why we didn’t always all sleep in the same room, which was adorable although definitely a no thank you!

So they can play in the snow. Being in the mountains with snow is magical for children. I used to holiday nanny for a family when they went skiing. It was the only time they took a nanny as Mum and Dad liked to ski. There was lots to do in the resort for non skiers (which I am) and children. Have your little one in with you. You can always take an inflatable air mattress for the floor if you are worried.

Hell no would I say yes to this. I don’t care if it comes off as rude or not polite, it if is making you feel uncomfortable don’t do it. Weird set up the whole room thing and don’t feel pressured either to go along with it when others might not have a problem with it. You don’t know this people or what they are capable of. I was visiting family in a different county, my great aunty who I had met once but was a baby put my parents in one room and me in her room in a little day bed on the floor. I didn’t feel comfortable at all, it was a new country and I didn’t really know my aunty so I snook out and went into my parents room. I was also angry at my parents for just accepting this arrangement. They knew her and nothing sinister was going on, but it pissed me off they were so passive about it. I was 10, so much older so I probably would feel worse at 4

There's no world I'd agree to this plan.
If only due the fact no one will get any sleep...

I don’t really understand people saying OP shouldn’t have DD in bed with their partner… as somebody else said, OP can go in the middle, and as they have said partner is moving in soon and obviously has a relationship with daughter. What’s the issue?
Also how much “adult time” can she be expecting on a family holiday like this anyway 😂

I mostly wouldn’t be interested in this setup as there’s no chance 4 young children would sleep much and I’d rather not deal with a houseful of over tired toddlers.

If you and your partner have your own room, it’s not unreasonable to say you will all share.

Just grab a mattress out of the ‘kids room’ and stick it on the floor of your room. Doesn’t need to be a big deal. The only issue is if your allocated room is so tiny it wouldn’t fit but I would think that’s quite unlikely. If the others are funny about it just play up that your DD doesn’t sleep well and the last thing they’ll want is her disturbing their kids so why on earth would they push it. I imagine they aren’t wedded to all the kids in one room so much as they don’t want to pay the extra for a much larger chalet that would allow all the kids to have their own rooms.

It’s not a hotel, says in OP a house, then goes to say chalet

It's completely fine that you'd rather she was on a mattress in your room. However, MIL hasn't done anything wrong in suggesting a kids room either. These are both fine, normal options, so don't handle it as if it's a massive deal or that her kids are a risk to your DD. Just a low key shift into your room, no big deal.

You are 100% not unreasonable and in fact very sensible.

Say she'll sleep better if she's in with you. Either take a mattress from the kids' room onto your floor, or pack a self-inflatable mattress from a camping shop and use that.

I agree with you. I'd say she'll stay in your room with you

Provided your DD knows and is comfortable with your partner, I'd put DD on a mattress on the floor of your room, on your side of the bed. You can tell the others that she doesn't sleep well in a strange place unless you are close by. If this won't work, you could ask your DP to sleep in the living room and share your bed with DD.

You’re right- your daughter should go in with you. As long as it doesn’t affect rooms/ beds it should have no impact on anyone else anyway. Either pull in the mattress she would have slept on, or take an inflatable bed.

Just agree to it and then shove a child's airbed and sleeping-bag in your luggage.

Just to warn you about sleeping arrangements - chalet bedrooms can be TINY (like, a foot on each side of the bed tiny), so the plan to bring a mattress in from the kids room might not work.

Well I’m taking my daughter as she enjoys skiing 🤷🏻‍♀️

The older kids will be able to do skiing lessons and the younger enjoy snow play. We are all Australian so enjoy the novelty of the snow!

it’s also part of a bigger trip because it’s a 9-10 hour flight away. However my partner, daughter and I are not continuing on with the group.

Im curious as to why this would be an issue?

My daughter knows my partner well (she doesn’t remember a time without her in our lives) and I’ve known her over 20 years as well. So she’s not some stranger.