To ask about your sex life?

[Bluejay67]

Just that really. I’m 27 and my boyfriend is 30. We’ve been together for a year and see eachother 4/5 nights a week but don’t live together. We’ve gone from having sex every single day in the beginning to only having it once or twice every 2 weeks. I initiate most of the time. I’d like to have sex more and we’ve spoken about it but he’s happy with how things are. He says it’s normal for couples to have sex less when they’ve been together for longer. Is this true? I think I’d understand this after a few years or if we had kids/lived together but we don’t? We’ve only been together a year and it seems like his sex drive has completely gone.

How often do you have sex with DP and how long have you been together? Who initiated

I smell a journo.

Dump him

Deffo

What?

You haven’t been together ‘longer’. Why do you need to know how often strangers have sex? Your relationship doesn’t work for you so end it.

That was my first thought too.

It's a personal question to ask. Some maybe happy answering it, some might suspect you're looking for replies with an ulterior motive in mind. Nothing more than that.

You have asked. I decline to answer.

If its not working for you after a year, bin him off.

Everyone's different, there's people in their 20s who are asexual, and couples in their 60s going at it every day. Concentrate on YOUR relationship rather than comparison.

It shouldn't matter what everyone else's sex life is like. What matters is if this works for you. It clearly doesn't so you should end your relationship. In my honest opinion a 30 year old man who wants it once a fortnight is not the norm but as I said, some people would be okay with that. When Dh and I were that age we had a young baby and had more sex than that.

Sorry this is an anonymous forum website. If you don’t wanna answer then just don’t answer. What other ulterior motive could I have??

It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or not doing. If you aren’t happy with your situation then end it.

You have different sex drives, so either you have a proper discussion and try and reach a compromise, or finish it. If he’s not that interested now (and he isn’t) then in 10 years with kids you may be at zero, which isn’t going to work for you.

I'd say it's normal for it to tail off a bit. In the beginning you're probably having sex with every time you see each other, which might not be every day and so it's all new and exciting. When you've been a few years married, living together, with multiple kids and other responsibilities, you may not feel the same urgency to have sex. In your situation I would end the relationship if you're only a year in, both relatively young and not happy. He won't suddenly get a higher libido. You are not suited sexually. There's loads of men out there who want frequent sex, don't settle for this guy if you're having doubts.

🙄

Some of us have had our posts put in the tabloids and it’s made us wary.
Calling it out is for the purposes of warning others who may not have had this experience yet.
Its usually a massive red flag when the OP is asking for personal information rather than just explaining their problem.
Also twenty somethings with no kids don’t usually asked questions about their sex lives on mn, never mind on AIBU.

@Bluejay67 Since this is your first post using this username and since you’re asking people to disclose very intimate information, it has understandably set alarm bells ringing for people that you are asking for a dodgy reason.

You’ve had some good replies here though. It’s your life and rather than comparing, simply validate your own experience - it doesn’t matter what your boyfriend wants or what strangers want, this isn’t what you (unless you’re a journo and are gathering anecdotes for a piece) want.

If you’re genuine and you’re unhappy, talk to your partner about needing more than this and if you have a mismatch you’ll need to decide whether you want to stay or go.

If you’re not happy a year in with no living together and no kids, it’s safe to say you won’t be happy as this relationship develops. Cut your losses.

She’s has fully explained her problem.
And then asked for others experience. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.
You don’t need to police other peoples threads. Just scroll past.

I use this app a lot I just changed my name for this one cause my other posts have quite specific info about me

@Bluejay67 yeah I accounted for the fact that you might have recently namechanged by saying ‘since this is your first post using this username’ as I knew you may not be new.

Our relationship is just so great in all other ways. I’ve had so many bad experiences with men and I don’t really wanna throw this away over sex

You’ve got the answer you were looking for though - just act on how you personally feel. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else likes or puts up with or prefers. It’s about you and what works for you.

All I will say is yes , it’s tailed off after many years.
I don’t get why posters are so worried about the press?
MN is completely anonymous , unless you’re saying ‘ my name is Jane my husband is Bob , we live in Birmingham and do it three times a week and swing off the wardrobe ‘ Huw is anyone going to identify you ?