How much to give for the wedding?

[Newusername1234567]

My husband and I are not British (although he was born here but raised elsewhere). He was invited to a wedding (without me or kids) by his work colleague, she invited the whole team. Bride and groom don’t want any gifts besides money (they put it very nicely in the invitation btw!). What is the tradition here? How much do you put in an envelope?

There is no fixed tradition here. It is not traditional to give money and people are not over generous.

the answer? It depends…. What can you afford? Feel like giving?

Depends on how well you know the bride and groom. As it’s a work colleague and you’re not invited maybe £50? Depends on your finances too, of course.

£50 was my first thought also.

I presume he is invited to the whole wedding? I would give what you can afford between 50 and 100 pounds.

£50 if it’s just a colleague, £100 if they work closely.

Btw, I don’t like it when people do this. It feels a bit cheeky to me and you can’t get away with a bargain that looks expensive!

Is it just the evening? Then £20.

Are work doing a collection? Then put into that and not individual gift.

If a full day guest then probably more.

I would say £40, unless you are a high earning household where you could consider more

I'd get your husband to check with his colleagues to see what they're giving. Also depends if day or evening.

In Italy, we 'cover the plate', so the amount we give would be expected to cover the meal (and hotel, if the couple were covering that). For a single, that's usually around €100. In the UK, I'd assume minimum £50 for a day guest.

I’d give £50 in this situation. We’ve given £100 to a goddaughter and a niece.

Can they all put together a present from work ? So maybe £30 each But I think generally £50 is fine if you can afford it.

Asking for money is just another way of getting other people to pay for your wedding.
if they don’t want ‘gifts’ then in my opinion they should ask that guests donate to a charity or ‘good cause’ and the ‘good cause’ shouldn’t be their honeymoon!
id buy them a very cheap toaster from Asda & bugger the consequences!

If its just an evening invite, then £50. If it's for the whole day £100-£200?
If you don't go, I'd still chip in to the work collection.

I vote 50 too.

God, what a charmer you are.
Weddings are a fortune. Why wouldn't a couple ask for money from their friends and family to try to help them out?
A cheap toaster 😕

It depends if he has been invited to the whole day or just the evening. If it’s the whole day it’s bad form to just invite one half of a couple. I would give £50 which is probably on the low end of acceptable. If it’s just the evening then workmates could club together and each put in £20 so it looks like more all together.
In fact that’s probably what they should do for the daytime as they have been invited as a group rather than as couples.

If only one person going then £50 if it’s an all day invite. If it’s just the evening then £25

God I despise people asking for money. But I would give £50

They're work colleagues. It's not bad form to invite a bunch of colleagues together; worse to have partners. Aside from doubling the cost, quite often the partners don't know the other colleagues/partners and the dynamic changes. I've been to plenty of day weddings of a work colleague along with fellow colleagues. Bringing my partner along wouldn't have worked.

The toaster suggestion strikes me as kind of rude. At my first marriage I had a gift list from next with things of all sorts of prices from a tenner upwards. We hadn’t lived together before marriage and were furnishing and kitting out our first home so less expensive presents like mugs were truly appreciated as much as more expensive ones like fancy pans and kitchen knives. However it’s pretty rare these days that people haven’t already lived together before marriage and therefore unless household items are requested I feel like a cheap toaster or the like shows a lack of thought.

I am getting remarried soon. We are in our early forties and have all the household stuff we could want. We have therefore put on our invites the fairly common speil of we don’t want presents but if you would like to give a gift a cash contribution to our honeymoon fund would be appreciated. Obviously not worded quite like that. The honeymoon is booked and paid for but there are excursions and such we would use cash gifts for. We do not however expect a gift from anyone.

when I go to a wedding I usually try to “cover the plate” as someone else said but that obviously depends on the fanciness of the venue as to what it cost. Amongst my circle a good rule of thumb is 50 a person depending on how close I am. If it’s just evening reception I would expect the workplace to do a collection and give one gift of cash from everyone.

I would ask his work colleagues about putting all together so then it will be an acceptable amount .

I don't understand the dislike for money gifts? Most couples live together they have their toaster I mean it might not be from Asda! So buying them physical things will be a waste whereas they can either save their money gifts for a big item or go on honeymoon seems logical to me.

Thanks guys. I was thinking of £50 too. We are not in fortunate situation (i am on maternity and neither of us are high earners) but i didnt want them to feel like slap in the face and think we are cheeky. When we were getting married in london we had max £25 from people here which was really shocking to me. But i am from different background.
and yes he is invited to wedding and reception.

£50 it is then!

Yes agreed. Plus I’m lazy so swinging by the cash machine on the way to the wedding is a godsend for me compared with ordering online and wrapping and lugging a gift.

Exactly just put money in a card it's not the big deal some people make out.