Do today's teenagers/20-somethings lack resilience?

[ToutesetBonne]

Prompted by another thread, I'm reminded of the number of times, at work, when I shake my head in disbelief about the dramas some of the younger staff create out of nothing!

I work for a lovely organisation in beautiful surroundings, with some of the best 'perks' I've ever encountered. Our salaries are well above average and we have free lunches, parking, and private health care.

Despite this, so many of our younger staff throw complete wobblies if asked to do anything that they perceive to be outside their role description, and have close to a breakdown if a manager (I am not one - no-one reports to me) queries any aspect of their work or asks them to change something in a written paper, or suggests that they might need some help with a task.

Where is the resilience? I am a labour voter who cringes at the expression 'snowflake' but, gosh, I'm beginning to see where it comes from!

It would have been unheard of back in the day but now this nonsense is happening all the time by the looks of it. As much resilience as chocolate tea pot!

When I went to university in the 1990s there were plenty in my own generation who couldn't cook or use a washing machine.

To add, older generations have always said people younger than them lack resilience etc. I remember my grandparents saying it, now my parents say it and some people my own age are starting to say it about the next generation down. It’s laughable really.

I lead a team of around 50. The tears, tantrums and lack of resilience are far more evident in the older staff. Those in their 20s seem far more prepared to take feedback, reflect and crack on.

Also society judges a lot more so say you leave your 14 yr old at home and they start a fire whilst cooking or have an accident lots of comments will be "I wouldn't leave my dc at home at that age". Same if your 11 yr old is sexually assaulted on the way to school "why was she walking alone" etc

I think some people need to look up resilience in the dictionary. It doesn't mean you never have any problems in life ever or never show your emotions, never have your own ups and downs, it means you are strong enough to get better and stronger after a period of adversity. It doesn't mean having a stiff upper lip. That is just emotional immaturity.

Also a lot of older people used the crutch of smoking or drinking to help them cope, younger people do both things less.

Exactly. Gen X buried our emotions in a shot glass.

Smoking doesn't make anyone cope. It just leads to an addiction and smoking means the relief is to that addiction.

Drinking usually leads to more problems and alcoholism. Nothing stopping teens from drinking

@OnePerkyFish what's that got to do with my post?

I’ve experienced people like this but they certainly aren’t in the majority.
But it only takes 5 mins scrolling on this site to see the problem. Look at some of the threads. Parents managing their kids revision timetables, taking charge of their uni decisions, using “we” instead of “they” when talking about their kids choices, but when you call it out you get accused of being unsupportive. Then people are surprised their kids can’t stand on their own 2 feet.

Agree with this. The only people I’ve ever seen have full blown tantrums in the workplace were in their 40s and 50s.

Agree agree agree

Neither help people "cope"

Quite. The only person I've seen really lose his shit at work was a good ten years older than me. And he got an ulcer six months later.

I’ve been in professional services for nearly 30 years. Every single year we get a whole load of new graduates in to train up. I clearly remember, shortly after my first promotion, complaining about the new grads, and a wise old partner taking me to one side and politely explaining that the people above me had said exactly the same about me. And the people above them had said the same about them. And so on.

I was recently partner sponsor of our apprentice scheme and was never less than impressed at the professionalism, knowledge, skills, resilience and can do attitude of our 18 and 19 year olds. Maybe we somehow manage to recruit the best, I hope so.

My take on things this:

1. Training budgets have been slashed. I was taught how to behave in a professional environment, now employers expect new starters to just know it.

1. The stakes are higher now. Absent an inheritance, young people now need insanely high paying jobs to be able to own their own home and have the lifestyles we enjoyed, compared to us, so of course parents are more keen to be involved.

1. Subsequent generations always whine about the generation below. We forget that we had the learn stuff too.

Older people have always said this about the younger generation. I know a lot of people in their 30’s/40’s and older who cant take criticism, are lazy and have little resilience.

My dc and their friends (young adults) are all very hard working and reliable.

A 21 year old woman can be sexually assaulted walking home from work. I don't know what difference the age makes.

@OnePerkyFish are you saying people haven't used them as a crutch though?

@FlakyCritic me neither but are you saying that people don't make those comments?

Also, I’m guessing most mumsnetters aren’t in their teens or 20s and many don’t seem very resilient from reading their posts. So many people here can’t seem to make decisions without involving mumsnet, they can’t get on with people, they have tantrums over small things, they can’t cope if people disagree with them etc. I think people should look at themselves and their own age demographics attitudes before saying others have problems. Most people here seem to be 30+ and I wonder how they cope with life when I read the threads/posts here.

@SweetSound I would say the average age is 50-60 so you have a good point there

I feel at school it's all too common to be "oh I'm not academic" and then be all happy and pleased getting 4s and 5s at GCSE.

When my DC struggled with a subject I always sat with them and learnt it with them till they got it.

I think this is because uni courses now teach 'reflective learning' and how to take constructive criticism as necessary skills. I started my first degree in 1993 and my second in 2016 and the changes to teaching were huge. A lot more explanation now, a lot more 'why are we teaching you this?' and a lot more teaching skills for the workplace, rather than just purely academic stuff. Young people now are being taught to take criticism constructively and use it to get on.

I truly hate this attitude as if it hasn't been said for every single generation since we walked upright.

My friend (52) says the same complaint but at the same time tells me that her kids really need the latest mobile phones at school, expensive prom dresses/trainers and loads of pocket money because their friends will bully them otherwise . I'm child free admittedly but I'm the same age as my friend and we both grew up dirt poor , with our parents saying no to all of this ☝️because we simply didn't have the money.
My point is that we create these soft spoilt children ourselves because we can't parent properly and give in ourselves to our own peer pressure.