DP expected me to move off the sofa so she could take my seat

[randomskittles]

DP was out all morning, I was at home. We have a corner sofa with a chaise and a second two-seater sofa. When she arrived home mid afternoon I was lying on my stomach on the corner sofa working on my laptop.

She came into the room with her earphones in and said 'can I sit down, Skittles?'

I sat up to make space for her (although the two seater was free) and put my legs out on the chaise. She continued staring at me.

I said, 'do you want me to move?'

She shouted, 'WHAT?' and took out an earphone. I repeated my question.

She responded, 'yeah. I've been looking forward to coming home, eating my lunch and sitting in this seat'.

I said, 'I just think it's a bit rude to make someone move from the seat they're in'

She said, 'if you want to argue, go ahead'

I knew arguing with her was pointless so I got up and went and sat in the other room.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? She is now acting like nothing happened

Wow.

None of us know the ins and outs of your relationship but what you have described here is contempt. She has contempt for you. Why, we don't know. Perhaps you do. But in any case, it's there and the relationship is done. Unless you both wholeheartedly commited on acknowledging the problem and went through therapy to resolve it with the true willingness to do so... but, otherwise, it's exit time for both of you. Life is too short and precious for either of you to spend it so miserably.

Is this normal behaviour for her?

Because if it is, you need to call a screeching halt to the relationship.

Whao! I had an acquaintance like that-poor misadapted fool-, but why would you marry someone like that?

Do you not say “oi I’m watching that!” And change it back?!

After getting over the shock & sheer cheeky fuckery first that he'd do that, yes! Darn right I reclaimed my TV. Who even does stuff like that!!

Just get out of this relationship.

Because I didn't know he was a selfish twat lol.

Of course refusing to move from your seat, when she could have sat in literally any other seat in the room, wouldn't have been unreasonable/difficult of you.

Honestly, your partner sounds like a nasty cow.

He'd (foolishly) do that ONCE.

why do you put up with it?

Yeah, because that was really the point of the post, wasn't it?

JFC

Because I am a weak, pathetic little mouse who has been conditioned to think this is what I deserve.

Not sure if you're being genuine or sarcastic?

I kind of hope sarcastic in a way, but if you mean it genuinely then I am very sorry that you feel like that.

I'll lend you my raised eye brow I inherited from my Dad, and some of my 'think again' look!! YOU deserve better than that from him!!

And you are with them for what reason ?

I wish I was being sarcastic! Not the usual answer you were expecting, hey? It's a long, complicated shit show.

I’m confused. You say DP but you refer to them as a woman

calling bullshit because nobody lies on their stomach on the sofa

@Cheffymcchef really, my partner would call me 'DP'... I am a woman. My sister refers to her partner, as DP, and she is also a woman, they are both women.
Are you aware of what century it is at all?

We have our own spots here - because I have to sit with my feet up, and if I have his spot, then my feet are in the way of the room, and his stuff is that side and mine is my side and also I sit next to the frogs and he doesn't like that as its where the stray fruit flies go and thus the 'tidying up spiders' live. And the frogs tend to look at him, which he's not a huge fan of (he likes the frogs, but they are very judgey).

But even if we didn't have a bizarre set up like that for our weird needs and pets, neither of us would demand the other move, we'd possibly ask nicely, if we had good reason, but not demand!

Weird

Wow, that is not remotely normal behaviour OP. Is she normally this vile?

You're easily confused??

DP Dear Partner. Have you not heard of same sex relationships or men posting.

🙄🙄🙄 I do. AND use my laptop like that too.

I wish you were too!

lives are often long complicated shit shows! Maybe try asking your GP about a referral for therapy? Or a friend was just advised to call 'talk therapy' & self refer. Not sure if that's national or not though?? But know you DO NOT deserve to be treated like that!!

The young 'uns do. I threw my back out just thinking about it.

The only family member who doesn’t get to keep their place on the sofa is the dog. She is treating you like a dog. Leave. Don’t think about it. Pack your stuff up leave. Only when you’ve been out of that situation for a while will you realise how bad it is.

Relationships rarely start the way yours is now. They start off ok and behaviour worsens gradually, gas lighting and blame is added in less and less subtle ways. Then eventually one person finds themselves moving off the sofa for a quiet life, like a dog