Breastfeeding a SIX year old - aibu?

[flufffffy]

I was taking to another mother at gymnastics yesterday. She casually mentioned that she sometimes still breastfeeds her SIX year old. That sometimes her six year old will come to her and “have a go” and that she has milk left. I’m not making this up, it really happened, and she wasn’t pulling my leg.

I truly had no idea what to do with my face, so I made it look very polite.

Isn’t this a bit weird? I mean, the six year old will remember it when she’s older, surely?

I want to be told I’m being judgemental and unreasonable - because I feel bad for being so judgmental and horrified!

This child has no younger siblings, btw, so it’s not like she’s doing it because they are.

I have a six year old boy and there’s no way in hell I would occasionally breastfeed him! I breastfed up until he was 18 months, so it’s not like I’m not sympathetic to long-ish term breastfeeding.

Each to their own but I think her child will be super embarrassed about this in years to come. I don’t think breastfeeding is gross, it is beautiful, but I also think breastfeeding past a certain age is mainly for the mother not the child. There are so many other ways to bond with your kids past the age of 3 or 4.

I come from a family where breastfeeding is normal. I remember (30 years ago) watching my little cousins (aged around 4) tucking their dolls under their clothes & clutching them to their chests in order to 'feed them.

What could be more natural & precious? 😍

I think it’s none of your business

None of who's business? OP has asked an opinion thereby making it our business.

I tandem breastfeed - a 6 year old and a two year old. Eldest is a girl before anyone chooses to assume. Don't see what's wierd about it, there are two other children in my eldests class that still breastfeed and nobody pays any mind to it because its none of their business

It's not like a 6 year old is constantly on the boob, it's a nighttime thing as part of the bed routine

As for the benefits

For the child: comfort, immune support (a childs immune system isnt mature until well into the 6th year of life) emotional regulation, bonding, hydration and nutrition during episodes of illness (breatmilk counts as a clear fluid if a child is going into surgery and is easily digested so when they have stomach bugs it is often the only thing that stays down)

For the mum: lower risk of breast cancer (risk halves each year you breastfeed for), lower risk of osteoporosis as you age

So yeah mainly benefits for the child, but some useful benefits for mums health too

As someone who really struggled to breastfeed (breast shape, long story) and only managed to get to 3m with both her kids (because I couldn’t do it without being fully topless and lying down, so I had to basically stay indoors for 3m both times) I’m actually quite jealous. I’d have loved to have given my kids the health benefits, emotional benefits, and all the other benefits that come from breastfeeding for a long time.

The only thing I can criticise the mum in this case for (and I use the term very mildly) is telling people, because the world can be very cruel.

OK to think about it another way…among the different ways you can comfort a child, which others offer nutritional and immunity benefit? None that I can think of. So why not provide a method of comfort that has extra benefits?

TBH main issue is that we sexualise breasts. I don’t think people would find it weird otherwise.

I suppose that depends on what kind of environment the children are bought up in, I.e an home environment that thinks breastfeeding is disgusting, or an environment where breastfeeding is advocated as being beneficial for a baby’s health and development.

Both my children remember being breastfed and neither of them are embarrassed about it.

I don’t know, it just doesn’t sit right with me in the sense that I wouldn’t want those memories.

Saying that though, in some cultures and tribes, it is the norm to breastfeed up to around 7 years old. Perhaps it comes down to what is considered socially acceptable in a particular culture or society.

The weaning age for hunter gatherer societies has always been between age 2-4. Six is older than kids would be breastfeeding in nature

The twin prongs of the porn and formula industries have done a real number on some of you. But thankfully that’s not the mum in question’s problem. Good for her.

I have a 6 year old son and can’t even imagine putting my nipple in his mouth. Possibly more my problem than anyone else’s! I breastfed both my kids but only as babies, I think there is a cut off in our society that is long before 6.

I thought the science is that once stomach acid develops properly, it kills any of the immunity benefits of breastmilk. So after about age 2-3 kids don't get benefit from it, but very young babies have underdeveloped stomachs and do. I'm sure I've read that somewhere

I believe six is the norm in some countries. I remember reading a really interesting article about it years ago. I’m sure google will give you some info on it. Personally I gave up at a year because I hated breastfeeding, but I know plenty of people who carried on for longer. I’ve never met anyone who was feeding a six year old that they told me about. I imagine I’d be a bit surprised simply because it is unusual in the culture I am used to, but I certainly wouldn’t judge, in fact I think I’d be impressed.

Your children are supposed to wean onto solid food.
Your children are supposed to get ill and boost their immunity.
Your children can be comforted and loved without your nipple in their mouth.
Your children, if they’re in primary school, should be learning skills of independence and resilience

I personally won’t be doing it past 6 months if I can help it. Maybe sooner.
i remember being horrified seeing a 3 yo breast feeding. Tho this was before I had children. I think the bigger the child looks the more wrong it looks to me.

Of course it’s not a situation that has a right or wrong. In my opinion I wouldn’t do it as I don’t think it’s ok.

I’ve my crash helmet on! Go!

I breastfeed my 4 and 2 year olds and genuinely do not get the faux outrage on this thread. It’s human children drinking human milk. It’s literally what it’s made for, and what my breasts are meant to do. My eldest (a girl) shows no sign of wanting to end her feeds, but to those who are adamant it should stop - what should I tell her when she asks why? Because grown ups think it’s wrong? Because she’s hit some completely arbitrary age and is deemed too old? Because mummy apparently should only use her breasts during sex now her children are no longer ‘babies’. Seriously, why? What would be an actual reason to give a 4 year old child that could explain taking away something that she loves and only gives her benefits?

I also don’t give a shit what others do but there’s no way I’d breastfeed for that long. If I did breastfeed for that long, I’m not sure I’d be okay with my DC sharing that information with a friend - as I know how merciless kids can be when teasing and bullying as a teacher. I also know how nicknames stick from primary school well into high school! I know this feels wrong because it is natural but of course kids won’t have the maturity to see it that way. Definitely too old for me personally. My cut off would probably be about three. My DC seemed huge breastfeeding when not even two! And they started biting!

Thank you - you are right that not everyone is able to BF. No-one should be made to feel guilty if they can't do it for whatever reason.

However, as PP have said, bottle feeding tends to be the way of feeding a baby that is portrayed. Baby dolls are sold with bottles, soap opera characters feed babies with bottles - even Peppa Pig's younger sister is fed with a bottle. What message does that give mums?

Breast feeding isn't necessarily easy. As a farmer's daughter I was rather expecting that my baby & me would know how to do it rather like lambs & calves & their mums know exactly what to do. It didn't help that my DS was born as a result of an emergency caesarean, I lost lots of blood & we were both very poorly for the first couple of days. However, after struggling with it, my lovely grandmother came to visit. She was fab - got the midwives to pump my swollen sore boobs (like a cow milking machine) so that there was a nipple for DS to latch onto, she suggested that I try another position to feed him from, bought cabbage leaves to relieve my painful boobs & generally encouraged me. She also identified that I had mastitis.

As far as she was concerned breast feeding is the best way to feed baby & we shouldn't give him a bottle until we tried all options.

I know this will blow your mind but the age you start school varies around the world, boobs and babies not so much.

Nobody is feeding a 6 year old just breastmilk- they do feed solids, from 6 months old - at 6 they are having a small amount of breatmilk alongside the usual 3 meals and snacks per day

Breastfed children still get ill - they just benefit from increased antibodies in the milk and often have shorter recovery times, it supports their immune system, it doesn't stop it from developing

Yes they can, but most mums make use of multiple methods of comfort - soft toys, special blankets, cuddles, storytime, and breastfeeding

Breastfeeding doesn't mean they are not learning those things, breastfed children can be incredible confident and independent, my 6 year old makes her own lunch, dresses herself, packs her own bags, reads, plays and explores by herself, makes friends easily, goes to school or with family members, even overnight, without a worry, safe in the knowledge that mum is there if she ever needs me.

Don’t disagree with this at all! And thank you 💕

But tbh my post was mostly in support of extended breastfeeding (not a defence of bottle feeding) as I so often see defenders of extended bf are those who’ve done it themselves and I wanted to offer support as someone who largely couldn’t.

I’m so grateful formula exists - I agree it’s pervasive and shouldn’t be ‘the norm’ - but I don’t think this debate is about formula so much as age.

I think it’s objectively more gross to drink milk from a cow’s breast, if you think about all that involves for more than a few minutes.

Hmm, I think it’s possible for one to not sexualise breasts and to believe breast milk is optimal (compared to formula - which is also amazing when breast milk is not possible!) and yet still find age six or even younger a little old for breastfeeding. I would be classed as an extended breastfeeder to some but three is definitely too old for me personally. Don’t care what others do though! Their breasts, their kids…

But no one drinks milk from a cows breast.