I know this is a very privileged problem to have but here goes…I’m terrified my partners spending and buying all the time is going to make my kids entitled.
I grew up with parents constantly budgeting etc and have always been frugal. Me and my siblings were always looked after fine as kids but may not have had top spec toys etc. I have been with my partner 11 years, we met at university and I had next to no spare money whilst studying and working. DH was supported well financially by his family through his studies, but I didn’t realise how much they gave him till after we were married. We both have moderate incomes in same profession and are very fortunate that my in laws have gifted my DH a lot of money along the way including the giving DH the money for our mortgage recently.
Since having children I’ve realised whilst DH grew up he was just given anything he wanted, none of this saving up or no you can’t have all those toys for Christmas , anything that was mentioned was bought. He has started doing similar. We have discussed it many times - I’ve said the kids don’t need all these things. Constantly clearing out, giving to charity shops etc. (which is a whole different saga, MIL stated recently something about how giving to charity not saving it for your own kids / grandkids is ridiculous). Latest is , I’ve just started teaching the 5 year old piano. DH asked me if he can buy him a guitar. I said why dont we focus on the piano we have just started , see how he gets on in the next year, if he’s into music maybe. DH seemed to agree with this. Next week a guitar arrives in the post. Despite DH having multiple guitars himself both here and at his parents house. When I question him on this he’s like why can’t I buy him one if I want to I’m excited about it and he will be too, don’t punish him because you didn’t have as much growing up.
In laws seem to have kept EVERY toy from DHs childhood and gift them to kids whenever we visit. I’m shocked at how she still able to bring more from the loft each time (and why she has kept everything, like lots of it is c.r.a.p fake gemstones from a trip to a theme park. )
Personally I don’t think it does kids any harm to have to save up for something, to want something and not be able straight away to have multiple versions of the same toy. I know we have the means to do it but it seems wasteful and silly to me, maybe because of my upbringing. I’ve tried discussing with DH how spending time is much more valuable then he seems to get himself excited whenever some new venture is started.