A little extra homework for DD9

[TalkToTheHand123]

Hi. A child support professional has contacted me to say she doesn't think my DD9 should be given extra homework by my parents as she believes DD9 gets bored in class in the belief it is because the work in class is now too easy.
I find this very hard to believe as she never does any / very rarely does when we are all together at their house. She has also missed a lot of classes for one reason or another and her school reports are always 'as expected' or 'needs to improve'.
AIBU to tell her to shut the f up that I disagree and even she was bored, to give her more advanced work instead if it is the case?

Why are you expecting improvement when she doesn't behave or do her work?

But you also said they tell you she is working at or below standard. Which is it?

Ok, well taking this at face value.

there can be a lot of reasons why a teacher might ask a parent or guardian not to teach stuff outside school.

the most obvious is that the parent might be teaching it wrong. So for example with phonics, children are taught the sound a letter makes to start with not what it is called. If a parent has taught them that m is called m then when they get to school and are taught it makes the sound mmmm they can get confused.

sometimes parents teach things that are just not factually correct - most teachers have had the experience of a child saying “my mum says” and it’s something completely wrong. Normally we just sidestep the issue unless it’s really something that needs to be adressed “my mum says the moon landings never happened and NASA made it up” type stuff.

in my subject maths, there are lots of methods of doing calculations. In ks2 sats only some methods get you marks. The schools teach those methods. In other countries, different methods are used.

for example, this is what Japanese multiplication looks like. https://whizz.com/en-us/blog/its-not-magic-its-math-how-the-japanese-multiplication-method-works/

if a kid is taught Japanese multiplication at home and then the standard English method at school they are going to get very confused.

most schools run information evenings for this very reason, and try to explain to parents for example how they teach phonics, so parents can work with the school and not confuse the crap out of the child.

In some subjects she is at standard and at others she isn't. It is irrelevant though. The issue is you have an educational professional saying to a parent to not have her daughter be taught outside of school, because it is inconvenient to the school if she becomes advanced in a particular piece of work.

They have been to the sessions and have taught the same way. The methods aren't the issue. It has been specifically stated for a parent to not teach their child so they don't get ahead of the others in class.

What gives you the impression I am expecting improvement? She does do the work.

Her behaviour has improved though. The children who were bullying her have finally been reprimanded and her behaviour has significantly improved since.

Well they can't stop you can they? This would be no different from engaging a tutor.

I think she has said that she finds her schoolwork boring, and this support worker has jumped to the conclusion that her boredom stems from the work being too easy. In light of the teachers comments this is not the case. She likely finds it boring because it's too difficult to access, ot she just finds the subject matter uninteresting.

Thanks @echt , very true.
The school have now said that I can request them to send out more homework from them!
The lady was wanting to come out to visit me, although hasn't been in touch again yet. Been over a week now. I'll just politely disagree and continue to have her do a little extra. I'm just a bit shocked and disappointed with the negativite approach from her. I know of a similar case with someone else at a different school. I believe the educational system should be encouraging pupils to exceed expectations if possible.
Thanks for all the responses.

This is something a professional might say if the child was complaining of overwork/confusion because of extra homework but afraid of repercussions if they ask a guardian to stop.

My son is great at maths so ‘could’ probably jump ahead, work at the next level up, etc. But I spoke to his teacher (who I respect hugely - my children both had her twice so this is my 4th year with her) and she explained that actually it’s really important for him to slow down a bit and make sure everything is truly embedded. That rushing ahead will actually make things harder later as he’s so instinctively good at it that it makes him lazy. Turns out he was writing half his numbers backwards and his spelling is terrible so we work on that at home. I don’t think it’s about holding children back exactly, it’s about ensuring a child is ready and able in all topics instead of rushing ahead in just one.

Am sure part of it is of course that she can’t teach 30
children 30 different things so she needs to stream them into groups. But honestly if her behaviour is poor and her work isn’t great, she has a lot to be working on without worrying about extra homework from your parents. Maybe if she brings home her poor work they can correct it together.

Well, it is relevant because they’re telling you this because they think she’s bored, but at the same time telling you she’s behind for her age.
You are genuinely trying to solve the wrong problem right now and that is that they appear to either be underestimating your child’s ability OR mis-diagnosing what her behaviour issues are stemming from.
Solve that problem first, then worry about the advice re: no further homework. You should be focused on supporting your child rather than looking for reasons to complain to the school.

The school have been terrible though. Constant flip flopping and very slow to do anything about the bullying.
Good point about them not being able to stop her family teaching her extra at home. I shouldn't have got so wound up by it.
Touch wood, all seems to be on track now, so all good.

By law, parents are responsible for their children's education. The Education Act section 7 says:

"The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable
(a)to his age, ability and aptitude, and
(b)to any special educational needs F1(in the case of a child who is in the area of a local authority in England) or additional learning needs (in the case of a child who is in the area of a local authority in Wales)] he may have,

either by regular attendance at school or otherwise."

It's why home education is legal, why parents are responsible for their teenager's attendance, and you can't sue schools if your child fails.

1. The grandparents need to butt out. (I am a grandparent, so this is not an ageist remark)
2. Either your DD finds the work too easy or she doesn't - her results suggest that she doesn't. Why do you think she is "bored"?
3. DD9 is adamant to me the work isn't easy - listen to her.
4. An educational professional has told you what to do - just do it!
5. Primary school is for learning the basics whilst exploring the world and learning how to get on with others.
6. When she is at home, have fun with her - read to her, go out and explore the world with her, laugh with her, cook with her, find a practical project to share together. She is finding school trying for an unidentified reason - do not let the whole school thing spill into her home life where she should be relaxing.
7. I think you need to chill - your anxiety will be rubbing off on her - she does not need that. She has the rest of her school career to fret about exams etc.

I wonder if there's been some miscommunication tbh. You are the school aren't in opposition to each other, you're all on the same team, and you all want what's best for your dd.

I've never known a school to oppose parents or grandparents supporting a child's education, maybe you could meet again and try to work through what stuff the school feels is unhelpful and what approach would be better. Maybe the grandparents could join the meeting so everyone's on the same page?

I think there are lots of reasons why school might be raising the issue. Teaching things differently is one, or maybe they're concerned your dd is building a negative association with some subjects if she doesn't enjoy the extra work. I think that activities like reading,cooking, playing board games can be a more light-hearted way to support literacy and maths, and maybe grandparents might be able to support this way instead?

But how can she need harder work if she’s working at expected level or needs to improve?
Also, giving work from the year above is disapproved of these days and who would teach her it? It would be different topics.
This all reads very confusingly. Sounds like there are behavioural issues. I’d focus on getting to the bottom of those first.

I agree the grandparents need to stop trying to dictate. I rely on them at the moment, so it's is a bit difficult to control. I've started to avoid visiting them at the moment so they can't undermine me while I work on her behaviour.
I've never said she is bored of the work, although I imagine it is. School work is hardly exciting.
Just because an educational professional says to do something, doesn't make it right. I think I know my child better than someone who has met her twice for a few minutes.
I agree she needs to learn to get on with others. This is why I persisted to get the bullying stopped.
It wasn't unidentified reasons, the main issue was the bullying.
It is hard to chill, she is full on, but it is getting easier now the bullying has stopped and my parents can't undermine me as much and I can focus on improving her behaviour. Once it has improved a bit more, we can go out and do more fun things. At the moment, it is a waste of time due to her behaviour.

The work is not all the same and she finds some work easier than others.
Why is it disapproved of to give a little more challenging work?
Behaviour is being worked on. Again, my point wasn't anything to do with behaviour.
The professional didn't say the behaviour had anything to do with it. She said she thought she was getting through work too quick and needs to slow down so all the class can progress at the same rate. Why should my daughter be hindered by others being slower? Surely teachers should encourage those who can excel?

Good point. I'll recommend they do this.

There's no teacher on the planet who wouldn't encourage or recommend a student who is struggling in a subject to work on that subject or practice it at home. Even better with parental input and support. If a student is below standard or working towards the average then it would be heavily encouraged for that child to practice that skill at home.

Even if a student was advanced it would still be encouraged that they get even better and more skilled! Why don't you email the teacher to confirm? He/she will give some recommendations on some good-quality work to do outside school hours in addition to what your parents are providing if your daughter wants to improve her grade.

You even said she told you herself that she is struggling with the work and finds it difficult so it's unlikely that it's the case of a highly-advanced student racing ahead in class and held back by her slower peers and so is acting out. If she says the work is too hard and the teacher says she is below the required level then it's most likely the complete opposite.

More challenging work should be given, yes, when appropriate but not from the year above.
But from what you’ve written, your DD isn’t working at greater depth. She’s getting through the work too quickly which implies a lack of care and is assessed at expected standard/ working towards. So extension work would not be appropriate.
I wonder if that’s what the professional meant. Rather than her grandparents trying to teach her new content, she needs to consolidate the work at her class level?
All that aside, there’s something ‘off’ about what you’re saying. You’re coming across very anti the school, antagonistic even. I think there’s more to the story here.

She said she should just play and only do work at school, so no specific issue with the type of work or teaching method.

Would you not be annoyed with the school if they just let your child be bullied for a few months without any action? Deliberately holding her back I could deal with. Telling me what I can and can't do with my child?

Anyways, now they are going to send some extra homework out. 😂