For me and my bf not bringing my 9 year old nephew with us to activity park with my daughter of 5 years and our couple friend and their toddler?

[Biggyteddy]

Me and my friend went to an activity farm like with animals activity and food for $25 last weekend since we planned that for 2-3 weeks ago, with our partners and kids. Sooo.. what happend is that my parents where babysitting both of them at the same time (i didn’t know tho about my nephew being there). So when i went to pick up my daughter since we where going that day early i did kinda told my nephew that we all as family could go togheter next time. My mom was also being a lil pushy about it so it become a bit uncomfortable and told her that we all including my sister could go next time. my nephew is a god kid but he can get moody and very rude when he get told no or gets mad. so i didn’t want to prob deal with that while meeting up with our friends and kids. I think my sister got offended since She texted me that i was heartless since our kids play good togheter and that she would have taken my kid with her if it was the opposite. (Wich i doubt). But this time we where meeting with friends so i don’t think it suited to just bring my nephew with us. Idk if this suits but like there is place and time for everyting but it not this time.

I'm sorry but I don't understand what happened there with friends/your sister/your parents/your nephew, what you've written is pretty confusing.

Op, her DH and DC were meeting friends and a toddler at a park which costs money. They picked up DC from her parents who also had her nephew there. Her sister is now annoyed that OP didn't take nephew as well.

I understand and you’re not being unreasonable. You shouldn’t be obliged to take extra children, especially when you’re meeting up with friends.

Just tell her next time, and make sure you stick to it if you said it.

I'm really struggling to make sense of your post. But if I've understood correctly you said "we will take you next time" to your nephew, and then didn't, knowing your DD and nephew would both be at your parents together and your DD would probably tell him that you'd been again without him.

If I've understood that correctly then yes you are being unreasonable. If you don't want to take your nephew, don't take him. But don't tell him you'll take him when you've no intention to. That's just mean.

I can see both sides.
Probably not best plan to have parents baby sit the night before when your headed for a family day out

It would have been wiser (and kinder) to not mention where you were going unless you were planning on taking your nephew with you.

YANBU you’re not obligated to take your nephew out, especially as your sister wouldn’t take your dd out in the same situation.

But you shouldn’t have told your nephew you’d take him. Kids feel this sort of this massively, he must be very hurt.

YANBU but your sister and mum definitely are.

Reads like your mum didn’t want to babysit her grandson and saw an opportunity to pass him to you and expected you to take him.

It’s pretty entitled to expect a family member to take your child without asking them to begin with and even more entitled to be upset when they don’t.

It doesn’t matter whether the cousins play well together. You didn’t know he would be there.

Did she know you were going or did your mum tell sister after the fact?

You aren't unreasonable to not want a 9 year old tagging along to a playdate with two 5 year olds. You are unreasonable to make promises to him you don't intend to keep.

@MoistVonL @PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt

i didnt know he would be there but i think my daughter told my parents and nephew. Since i had no idea he would be there, when i meant next time is with our parents and sister and her 2 kids. We have been there before but with my parents and my daughter we have asked my sister the 2 times before but they where busy and couldn’t join wich is ok. But this time didn’t fit since we where meeting with friends

I didn't quite understand either .....

I wouldn't have taken him either as it was a family outing with your friends. Just don’t make promises you don’t intend to fulfill.

@phoenixrosehere yea.. my daughter was prob very excited and told them that we where going to meet with my friends and their kid at this fun park And idk if my daughter was inviting nephew with us before we picked her up.

Yes, it is a lil confusing.

@Springtime43 i tried my best english is far from my first language

But i put this commentors response here!
quote it

@DeathStare i haven’t made him a promise last time since this was the first time i told him «next time». Pluss next time is prob with family and not friends

Oh some people can be awkward.
Your post very clear. No issue here.

Why? So she can't organize events with her friends and keep without her sister tagging along or taking her sisters child?

They can organize separate family events if they want but it's unreasonable to expect her to let her sister know whenever she plans a day out with her friends.

YABU.

@Biggyteddy im wondering if your sister realised it was a meet up with one of your friend rather you going with your dd on your own?
And how did she learnt about it? Seeing your mum was pushy about you taking your nephew (to him out of her hands??) I’m wondering how it was presented to her.

Having said that, it’s ok for you to say No. Regardless of the situation.
You shouldnt be guilt tripped (both by your mum and sister btw!) into taking your nephew with you.

In your opening post you said you “kinda” told your nephew you were going - there is your error, you shouldn’t have told him.

Oh no she isn't

Sister, your child behaves poorly when he's told no or gets mad and I'm not comfortable taking him out with other kids.

Are those behaviours being addressed or just rugswept because faaaaaaaaamily.

There's quite an age gap and he probably would have been wanting to do different things than a toddler and 5 year old. You were going on a planned outing and it wouldn't really be ok to bring uninvited kids.