I'm 40 and my Mum just told me to brushy hair!

[PennyWhistleSweet]

For context we (me and my son's).are having a sleepover round my lovely mum's. This is fairly light-hearted.

All my siblings had straight or wavy, glossy hair growing up and I had and have, uncontrollable mad hair that turns into a candyfloss halo if it's brushed dry. This led to a childhood of dodgy photos and painful hair. If I wash it and let it dry with loads of products on it, it can look quite good and very curly.

My mum suggested this morning that I should brush hair as I'd showered last night and didn't plan to till this evening.

To make a point I did brush it and she was shocked by the size of it and how dry it looked. I turned into a sullen teenager and muttered that this is what happens if I brush it. Aibu to have turned into a stroppy teen in my 40s?!

Sometimes you just have to strop.

Damnit should have proof read it. Brushy my , not brushy.

And strop I did 🤣

Well at least she hopefully stops telling you in the future. 😃

I had this as a teenager too and I am also early 40s. My dad had a massive halo curly hairdo in the 1970s, which I inherited, and my mum had hair like Catherine Zeta-Jones. Unfortunately (if you ever read Enid Blyton school stories where the girls brushed their hair 100 times a night to "make it shiny") it was a part of your morning routine when my mum was little and she tried to impose that on me until I was 12, when she finally listened to a hairdresser who said wash, mousse and scrunch, and leave to dry. Unfortunately I took it a bit far with crunchy gel but it was better than brushing!

Sometimes you just have to do it and prove it
I got sick of people saying just brush it, have you ever straightened it, why don’t you use some frizz ease blah blah blah

Oh god I was obsessed with the crunchy gel in the late 90s!

Also does anyone remember beach head products that was basically salt wal
Ter in a bottle?

I'm 64 and my dear mother has a wonderful way of asking when I last went to the hairdresser, and looking me up and down to see if I pass muster there is anything she can find to criticise.

Parents just have a way of making you regress. Totally understand from a fellow curly girl from a straight haired family.

OOh this is where I enjoy employing a 'transactional analysis' viewpoint.
Very simply, the theory is we're either Adult, Child or Parent at any one time.
Even though we're an adult now (I'm 45), we can still become Child again when faced with our parents, who step into the Parent role. The trick is to shift into Adult thought mode, thus forcing our parent to also step in the Adult mode with us (eventually).

It's hard but I have to do it with my dad. In fact, both my brother and I will strop and sulk when with him because we all step back into our childhood roles.
Fun to work on intentionally! But equally, it's sometimes comforting to go back into our old roles.

It's also applicable at work - I worked in a school and got shouted at by the headteacher. I literally scurried off down the corridor until I thought 'I'm an adult, at work, not one of the children' so I went back and 'adulted' at her until she spoke to me like an adult as well.

I'm so heart warmed to hear this is a familiar curly girl experience. I've now messed up my hair out of spite!

@imaginationhasfailedme that is so interesting and true. I need to practice this more often.

This is like something my mum would do 🙄. Have you tried plaiting it when wet. Just a little bit of product, plait to dry. Next day when you take it down it shouldn't need brushed. I spray water on it and put a bit of gel on my hands. I can't put loads of products on my hair it weights it down

That's a good idea, I've also recently bought a bonnet but didn't pack it for the sleepover.

Not unreasonable at all, everyone of every age is entitled to strop when ordered about by a parent.

I feel you, OP. Not naturally a curly girl myself, but I’m of an era where we all had perms in our teens, and on the night of my prom, I had done my hair in lovely little shiny (crunchy) ringlets.

My mother clearly felt this looked unkempt and reflected badly on her. She kept asking me if I was going to brush it. I explained that this was the look I was going for - and she seemed to accept this, albeit reluctantly.

My date arrived to collect me, and as we were about to pose for a photo, my mother suddenly couldn’t control herself anymore and whisked a hairbrush out of her handbag, grabbed me by the head and brushed my hair out all frizzy and puffy and mad.

I looked like a fucking dandelion.

I still feel pissed off about this, 35 years on.

Ha ha; totally have done this..I absolutely LOVE brushing out my curls to get a reaction!

If you actually do need to untangle dry hair, use satin gloves to "brush" your hair. They're also pretty great for scrunching and applying products with. Fingers cause frizz just as much as brushes I'm my case.

"like a fucking dandelion" 😂

That's mums for you 😁

I feel you, I still have trauma from my parents constantly telling me to brush my hair when I was a child, not realising my hair was curly. I remember my mum saying I always looked unkempt.
I’ve since grown to love my curly hair. Looking after my own child’s hair, I can’t understand how my parents tortured me with dry brushing! We water spray or detangling spray and comb my little one’s hair. And my mum always says how lovely it looks.

I’m 58, I’ve just said on another thread that I’m going to hide my motorbike accident from my parents when I see them later, lol. They’ll lecture me and I just can’t take it.

The amount of times I say “I’m 58” because they talk to me as if I’m 12, is unreal. They just say “then act like it”. Mostly in fun I might add, I adore them really.

Not hair-related, but if my mum hands me something she holds on and won't let go until I've said "thank you". Annoying as a child, infuriating as a teenager but as an adult with adult children it finally makes me laugh 😂

Not quite hair brushing story - but went to visit (a regular visit albeit not too often as it is abroad) my mum and after all the hugs and “how glad to see you” she looked at me and said “you’ve got wrinkles on your forehead”.
(lovely to see you too, Mother!)
It’s to be expected since I’m pushing 50!!
And the visit before she told me to book a hairdresser and have a cut and colour 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️
mothers, eh?

I don't have to do that to my adult children although very occasionally they have to be reminded of the magic word. Somewhere I must have gone wrong. The thank you should be automatic at 27 and 30. DD's 29 year old bf manages it every time.

My DM attempted to make me go and brush my (curly and drying naturally after a shower) whilst I was in the middle of cooking Christmas dinner!

I had it all planned, shower, hair drying whilst I cooked and nip up to change just before the meal. But no, she wanted a photo in front of the tree right at that moment. I think I was 29 at the time...