I'm 40 and my Mum just told me to brushy hair!

[PennyWhistleSweet]

For context we (me and my son's).are having a sleepover round my lovely mum's. This is fairly light-hearted.

All my siblings had straight or wavy, glossy hair growing up and I had and have, uncontrollable mad hair that turns into a candyfloss halo if it's brushed dry. This led to a childhood of dodgy photos and painful hair. If I wash it and let it dry with loads of products on it, it can look quite good and very curly.

My mum suggested this morning that I should brush hair as I'd showered last night and didn't plan to till this evening.

To make a point I did brush it and she was shocked by the size of it and how dry it looked. I turned into a sullen teenager and muttered that this is what happens if I brush it. Aibu to have turned into a stroppy teen in my 40s?!

Personally, I say "thank you" as the item leaves the giver's hand and is in the receiver's. My gripe is my mother's assumption that I'm not going to say it - unsurprisingly with her training, saying thank you is utterly engrained in me. Maybe you didn't mean to sound like you were having an (unfounded) dig at me and I've misunderstood?

I was having a lighthearted dig on the basis that it sounded as though you didn't say thank you as a rule. Clearly not the case.

I also thought that the point you were probably making is that it's pretty much not done for an adult to correct another adult anyway.

I used to colour my hair in random exotic colours. My mother would sigh and say 'why do you want to do that?'

I frequently had to restrain myself from slamming doors and shouting 'you can't tell me what to do!!!' I was in my forties.

Primarily that but just felt that I needed to point out that it was an unnecessary correction anyway. Sorry for derailing a lighthearted thread

Nah I thought it was light hearted! We all do daft things, our mums included.

surely she knew this would happen to your hair if you brushed it

You would not believe how many people don't know this. They are legion.

But her own mother?!?
The OP has had this type of hair since she was young

Lots of hair types go smoother after brushing, so i can see why she'd be surprised!
Mine does the same. Its impressive how big it goes as its not even tight curls! It's like each strand is slightly magnetic and they all repel from eachother when brushed 😂

I'll let OP confirm, but my guess is that OPs hair was brushed into a Hermione fog her entire childhood and her mum never once considered it might be secretly curly.

Seems like this is a common experience for curly girls in their early 40s! Throwing my name into the hat too. My mum just didn't get it but then tbf my long-time hairdresser doesn't get it either, when she's combing out the knots before cutting it.

If the zombie apocalypse comes during the moment where I've just brushed my hair before getting in the shower to wash it, I'll be furious, as I'll be stuck that way!! It's a very private moment that few in the world will ever see!

I'm the same. My mother would insist on me having my curly hair cut short which (plus being bigger than everyone else) made me routinely mistaken for a boy.

I've now had long curly hair for 40 years. I almost never brush it or only do it wet when full of conditioner and using a detangling brush.

I'm on the Aussie Moist shampoo, conditioner and curl cream combo. Lots of scrunching and plopping. It works.

I'm seriously greying now ... Do I leave it r to silver gracefully, or use temporary colour ?

@Someone2025 you'd think huh? 😭
Honestly she seems to believe if it's brushed it's correct and that belief has stayed with her!

If you're 40 and your mum was born in the 50s then odds are she probably had a perm at some point, because a Stevie Nicks-esque mullet or early Julia Roberts brushed-out look was the epitome of style. My mum is still obsessed with volume at the roots.