To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

I prefer dogs. If I ask to stroke your dog it’s fine but I can’t stroke a random child lol

I can see both sides. I love my own kids, but there are lots and lots of children I wouldn't choose to spend time with.
I don't like cats either. I'm sure some cats are gentle and some are playful and some are independent etc. But I don't like cats. I find the basic thing that makes them a cat to not be to my liking. So I can sort of see how people feel the same about children. Children have some innate qualities to do with purely being young, that I can see why people would find irritating, however nice the individual child is.

Anyone who says something so unbelievably generalised as “I don’t like children” or “I don’t like old people”

aren’t exactly the sharpest tool in the box so I’d probably chuckle if I heard someone say this.

Thankfully… I never have!

I admit it does sound wrong to generalise like that, but on the whole I wouldn't choose to spend time with children. That's because I don't like doing the sort of things children like doing, I'm not very patient and I don't find children's conversation very interesting. If I go on holiday, I'll avoid children-friendly places in the same way as I'd avoid dog-friendly places. So in that sense, I don't think it's wrong for me to say I mostly am not keen on being with children. It doesn't mean I think children are horrible.

Is it not obvious it's a shorthand for 'I don't like [generalised behaviour typically associated with children]' and not a blanket 'I despise everyone under the age of 18'?

In the same way that saying you don't like dogs probably means you don't like the smell or being jumped on or being licked. I've probably said I don't like kids in the past - for me that would be shorthand for 'children aged about 4-10 ask loads of questions and monopolise conversations and tend to get in your personal space', I actually love babies and teenagers are fine and 4-10 year olds who aren't noisy and conversation-hogs are also fine. But it's just something people say, isn't it?

To be honest I’m not mad keen on kids. I loved my own (they are adults now and I still love them) but I’m not very good with other people’s kids. I’d always choose an adult only hotel etc. I don’t find interacting with them easy but maybe says more about me than kids in general.

Every single time 🤦‍♀️

Just out of interest, what makes you think that you have to have given birth to have an opinion on 90% of the different topics on MN? Such as FWR, Telly Addicts, Relationships, Chat, Sporners Corner etc?

Pizza?!

Individuals, regardless of age, can be annoying for a variety of reasons. Disliking a sub section of humanity without any specific reason seems lazy to me.

Of course some kids are irritating, loud, unruly and attention seeking (some might use the word ‘brat’). But so are some adults. Some children are an absolute joy to be around, kind and sweet and bring a lot of happiness wherever they go.

If someone doesn't appreciate this "type" of child, there is no hope for them and it may be best to avoid them. They are probably misanthropes.

I don't really like children. But that's probably because so many children these days are noisy,badly behaved brats who think they are the centre of the universe. I have one DD of my own, and a lovely DGD and I love them both dearly. I was never particularly maternal,that's probably why I stopped at one! And I couldn't imagine never having a child. I think as I've got older,I've got a lot less tolerant of people's shit (and people in general tbh!) so I noticed more when kids are behaving badly. But... I don't go around announcing to everyone I meet that I don't like kids. The only people irl that know are my 3 closest friends, and my DD and DGD. One of my friends said that if I don't like children,why did I have one? I said it's different when they're you're own. She doesn't really understand it,she's baby and small child 'mad',whereas I prefer animals! I will coo over a dog or cat the same way a lot of people coo over a baby.

‘ on the whole I wouldn't choose to spend time with children’

this is true and a good point. Surely every adult in the land if they were say going on holiday as a single person in a group of strangers and were offered the choice of two groups

1. group 1 - you and 10 children
2. group 2 - you and 10 adults

every adult ever would surely choose group 2.

suggesting that all adults prefer the company of other adults given the choice and whilst most don’t actually voice ‘I don’t like kids’ it’s actually true that whilst it isn’t that they hate them, they would never choose to seek out their company.

I don´t like children. I don´t hate them, but I don't want to have anything to do with them either.

Why am I on this board? Because it's largely female posters (until the AI bots take over) and it's gender-critical. There are not many places only the internet left where you can say that.

As for the comparison with saying "I don't like old-people/women", I consider that a false equivalence. Children won't be children forever, but while they are they are their parents' responsibility. Old people will be old till they die and women will be women till they die. Women and old people are also independent (mostly), therefore this is no comparison at all.

It's OK to not like dogs.

Some people think they're scary
Some people think they're dirty
Some people think they're attention seeking
Some people think they're noisy
Some people think they have disgusting toilet habits.

Oh, sorry, the last bits were about children.

You have them
You love them

I won't actively harm them

But why should I have to LIKE them.

Animals are far superior

This is a great point.

Advanced societies

You see the trap you have fallen into is not recognising that societies themselves decide whether they are an advanced society. There is no such thing in reality. Or a backward society.

There’s been quite a few suggestions on this thread that anyone who says they don’t like children is a bit thick.
wouldn’t the exact opposite be true?
children don’t offer any information to most adults that they don’t already know, so it’s a bit like talking to an adult who doesn’t have anything interesting to say. Why would someone who doesn’t like a group of people who don’t have anything interesting to say, be thick? If one was to be unkind, but only in keeping with the comments I’m referring to, you could argue that if you do enjoy the conversation of children, it’s you that might be a bit thick?

Extinction of the human race is a bad thing?

I have a child, but I don't really like any other children. I lie though and pretend to for social reasons. But generally, hard work, poor conversationalist, self centred, etc.

You are missing the point entirely

If you’re happy in life, excited for the adventures and prospects that await your children - then yes a bad thing

I am guessing not so for you?

or were you very earnestly meaning from the planet pov

ah, now that's a different discussion! 😂

I'm not sure badly behaved= badly brought up. DS can be badly behaved. He has firm boundaries and discipline but it doesn't stop him.

I don't much like children. And there's huge swathes of people I'd also say I don't like. Doesn't mean I'm entitled to a world where they don't exist. Same as I don't like jelly. I'm not entitled to a world in which it isn't on any menu.

Well it’s not for anyone to say what another person can and can’t like. I don’t think it’s particularly socially acceptable to say it out loud though. You’re right, people don’t say they dislike other groups in society and where they do, it definitely is not acceptable, I’m thinking of racism or homophobia. I know people will say ‘oh you can’t compare not liking children to those things’ but actually why not? Children are a group of people in society! The key thing is saying it loud is what makes it problematic.

I guess some people just might not be comfortable with how full on children can be, or might not be comfortable communicating with them or struggle to relate to them.

I agree op. Yes kids can be annoying but they’re also hilarious. You want the truth? Ask a child !