Is this rude?

[StripeyBalloon]

Both kids have medical appointments that clash on the same day coming up. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. We are taking one kid in the morning and if they have the procedure we will be there a good few hours. DH has arranged for a family member of his to take the other kid in the afternoon but if the first DC doesn’t have the procedure (they sometimes cancel) we will both be able to take other DC to theirs.

I wanted the family member to be on hand and I asked DH to explain that we might be able to take other DC in the afternoon but he said that’s very rude and has just arranged even if we could be home and other DC in school? I told him how important it was that we as his parents went to the hospital with him if we were free but it’s all arranged now?

Would it be rude to have them on hand? DH said I’m being very rude and we should just let them take DC now. Or all go with family member!

Is the family member looking forward to looking after the child?

And still no mention about what DC2 wants.

if DH had done nothing, would you be claiming you have the "mental load" of "family admin"

Do you mean the oldest? The one with the afternoon appointment?

Yes, they will look forward to seeing them and being there for them.

This is the answer, surely OP?

Also another PP made a good point about PR/consent - parent would need to be present at both appts due to parental responsibility/consent/confidential info?