If you can’t look after a pet you can’t look after a child

[TheLimeQuail]

AIBU

Depends on the pet really doesn't it ? A goldfish or an exotic pet or something in between

YABU. No context. What sort of pets, how long for, age of child etc

YABU

YABU. You wouldn't stop working to care for a pet, while you would do it for a child.

It is easier to care for a pet. Much harder to look after a baby or child. I think it’s easier to care for a pet and if you can’t look after a pet how can you look after a child

Dogs make me sneeze and my children generally don't. I also don't tend to run away from my DC (but would from a tarantula)

Personally, I've found children easier to raise than dogs.

Dogs stay as toddlers their entire lives, up until the point they die. They don't 'get it'. They don't understand why you go out, or why you can't play 24/7 or why they shouldn't shit at the end of the neighbours drive.

Children? By about 3/4 a child 'get's it'. They understand why they have to go to school, they understand the idea of 'work' and they know not to shit on the neighbours drive.

(As an aside, taking care of goldfish WELL is actually really time consuming and takes a lot of knowledge and £)

But yes I agree with you OP. If you lack the ability to care for a pet, that’s a really problem if there are children coming along.

Lacking the inclination to care for a pet is a bit different though. People who don’t care about animals are not my kind of people. But, I daresay some of them are good parents.

I am pretty well trained in early years etc and feel quite equipped to look after a baby or small child. Hand me a lizard or a canary or even a fish and I wouldn't have the same level of knowledge about what they need/ how to address any illnesses etc.

Also, unless there are other issues, children can eventually tell you when they are hungry/ thirsty/ cold/hot/ tired /sick/ where is sore etc, but with a pet that will always be guess work to some extent. You raise children to be independent- this works as we age - pets will always require the same level of care and input from you. Plus if you are disabled, depending on your disability, it can be easier to care for a child than to, say, walk a dog or clean out a fish tank.

I'm also not allergic to my ds thankfully.

I assume the point you are trying to make is actually about responsibility and empathy rather than the practicalities of it. And yes in that respect they overlap.

I look after my children just fine, no way do I want to look after a pet

They aren’t in any way the same.

There is a biological and psychological tie to your child not present with animals.

Animals require, food, water, shelter, exercise. That doesn’t even begin to cover the requirements for parenting.

I’m not interesting in being a pet owner, but I’m an excellent mother.

i know a few people who look after their dogs really well but are fairly useless parents.

This kind of statement comes up on MN frequently.

What do you mean by “don’t care about animals”?

Because I wouldn’t stand by a dog or cat injured or abused but I have no desire to share a household with one. Objectively they might be cute, but I don’t want to pet them, or engage with them.

Why does that make me someone wouldn t want to spend time with? I’m not lacking in empathy. I just don’t like dogs.

I’m imagining somebody who has an animal living in their home and who doesn’t take good care of it.

If you don’t want a pet and don’t have one, I have no issue with that, I’m thinking about people who have animals but don’t care about them. Perhaps they don’t walk their dog or leave them alone too much. They might neglect to clean out their rabbit, keep their fish in a tiny bowl and fail to treat illnesses when they arise. That kind of thing.

That’s the situation I assume the OP has encountered.

Oh good 😀I have been previously told on MN that I’m a cold hearted wretch for not wanting a houseful of doggies.

I do agree that owning an animal and not looking after it properly is dreadful.

I understand! I love dogs and cats, but I’d run a mile before having a pet tarantula or a lizard. It’s okay not to want to share your space with an animal you’re not comfortable around.

Honestly people on mumsnet can be so obtuse! 😂
Of course, if someone can’t look after their pet they should not have a child.

if you can't afford a pet, if you can't be bothered to give your time to care for the pet you decided to have, then no, you can't be trusted to look after a child.

Why do you think all the threads about parents fuming they have to pay for their child/ child uniform/ look after them and entertain them during weekends and holidays?

Sadly too many people shouldn't have kids. I doubt they practiced with a pet first.

you miss the point.

OP Is saying if you can't handle a pet, don't have a kid.

Agree with what you said. You can dislike dogs and not want to be around them or engage with them but it doesn’t mean you don’t care. You can still have compassion if a dog is getting abused/injured or whatever.

I would still want to spend time with you because I know you just don’t like them and is nothing to do about seeing them mistreated or in pain.

Same can apply to people who don't like children. Doesn’t mean they want to see them hurt. They just don’t like them. People have a real problem with both.

You may be on to something about practicing to become a parent. Some countries you need a pet license to show you’re a responsible pet owner. Some places you get vetted before owning one. Nothing like this applies to parents.

I'm an excellent pet mother, @TheLimeQuail . (Vet actually used the word 'exceptional' after I slept on the sofa once so my sick budgie could have the double bed). 🤣

Not sure I would have made an excellent mother to humans.

I actually would stop working to care for a pet. I would use any holidays that I had and if not I’d take unpaid leave. Use savings to make up salary lost. Short term only though say max of three weeks.

I can’t look after plants but can look after 2 dc. I have no desire for a pet. We’re all different with different interests and strengths.

YABU. I don't instinctively understand how a cat communicates or what its needs are because I am not a cat. As a human we are designed to be able to care for our young on instinct alone. We have the ability to understand how a baby communicates by reading facial expressions and interpreting noises, they show us how they need us to look after them in many ways.

I have a now-13 year old DS and from close friends with dogs I’m absolutely clear that I could not handle the level of commitment and routine and planning and mess that comes with dog ownership. Having a child is completely different.