AIBU to not want to look like a Christian

[Todaytodaytodaytoday]

First of all, I have nothing against Christians. I have friends and family members of that faith, whom I respect and admire. My dilemma (if you can call it that) is that I was once given a beautiful gold necklace with a little crucifix on it. Not a big jesus-y one - just a solid gold cross with a pattern on it, with another smaller cross in front of that - not that big. The thing is, I love it and want to wear it, but on the odd occasion I do, I feel self-consious, believing people will assume I am religious. I don't know why this bothers me - I know it shouldn't - but I think it has something to do with identity and self-expression. It just feels wrong somehow. I don't want to be perceived as anything other than I am. Am I being silly?

What's your fear about being mistaken for a Christian?

I’m an atheist but I used to wear a big cross back in the day when I was going through my ‘Madonna’ phase.

I am a Christian and wear a cross. No one has stoned me in the street over it. Yet.

Drill a hole in the bottom, wear it upside down, and the problem is solved. What a completely irrelevant, trivial first-world problem to be asking about! Seriously?

I get it, OP. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me about stuff but weirdly I don’t like people assuming incorrect stuff about me. If it really bothers you I guess you won’t wear the cross. If you like it enough not to care then you will wear it!

I don’t really understand what you are looking for here. If you don’t want to look like a Christian, don’t wear a cross around your neck.

I don’t really understand.
A cross or crucifix is a Christian symbol. Most people who choose to wear them are doing so as an outward sign of their faith. If you choose to wear one, of course people are going to assume you’re a Christian.
If you don’t want people to assume you’re a Christian, don’t wear it.

I would assume the wearer to be Christian, but I wouldn’t say anything to them about it.

So is it a crucifix or is it a patterned cross? That make a difference to perception.

However why do you care what strangers think?

That's what I thought too. I'm probably overthinking it.

If you don’t want to look like a Christian, then don’t wear a Christian symbol. It’s that simple.

I mean, I’d still assume anyone wearing a cross necklace was a practising Christian.

A crucifix would make me think Catholic (and a pretty religious one). A bare cross could be anything ranging from culturally CofE who goes to church on Easter and Christmas to raging evangelical.

They're not equivalent to a cross. A hijab or a tichel (or a yarmulke or a turban) is something that is an actual requirement for people who follow their religion in a specific way. It's not a symbol, it's a necessity for their beliefs and set out as a requirement in the relevant holy books.

A cross is not like that at all. There is nothing in the Bible that says Christians have to wear a cross (or any other garment or symbol). A cross is simply a piece of iconography. You can be a Christian and never wear one. You can also wear one every day and not be a Christian.

Moreover, even if someone is an atheist, or agnostic, they can have a cultural attachment to religious symbols or practices. For example, most atheists in the UK celebrate Christmas and Easter and might say 'Oh my God' or 'Jesus Christ!' when they're shocked. They probably know the words to a few Christian hymns from school. They might have a name like Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Mary, Eve, Ruth, Joseph, Elizabeth, Peter, Paul, Thomas, Hannah, Rebecca, Noah, Jacob, Isaac, Leah, Sarah, Rachel... David, Martha, Susannah, Adam, Michael, Esther... you get the picture. Nobody would say that calling a child John if you're not a Christian in the UK is equivalent to wearing a hijab if you're not a Muslim - same applies to someone in the UK wearing a cross.

It's a patterned cross with a smaller, separate plane cross that dangles in front. I don't know why I care what strangers think. That's the problem. I think it's something to do with not wanting to misrepresent myself.

A small gold cross is never going to be mistaken for a piece of fashion jewellery. It would definitely suggest you were of the Christian faith. That doesn’t mean anyone would say anything or care but if you strongly don’t want to be taken for a Christian you probably shouldn’t wear it.

It's a beautiful piece of jewellery and you love it.
Sod what people think.
Just wear it.

Good Lord what a lot of typing you've just done to this Catholic here.

I feel like I've just been mansplained to?

The OP is worried about being mistaken for a Christian due to the visual representation so the comparison in my post was valid.

I love crosses and have collected quite a few over the years, there are so many designs that are linked to particular countries and cultures. No one has ever given any indication they assume I am Christian (I am a lapsed Catholic, if that makes any difference) and if they did, I wouldn't care. Tbh, what screams Christian to me is someone wearing a crucifix, not a cross, and a pretty modest way of dressing. Personally, I would never wear a crucifix as a fashion statement, it does feel blasphemous - but that could just be my Catholic upbringing talking!

Thank you, that helps. I do, in fact, have a cultural and, specifically, family attachment to this symbol, even though I am not religious myself. Maybe that's why I like it so much. What you have said has helped me think about it in a different way.

You need to get over yourself.

That is a complete false equivalence.

I'm a Christian. If I see someone wearing a cross I think they may be a Christian or they may not, that they may just be wearing it totally for fashion or sentimental reasons ie heirloom jewellery.
Either way it has zero bearing on my interactions. Unless someone is a total c* to me or my loved ones I will treat you all the same- with nothing less than love and respect- whether you are a homeless smackhead or a movie star or CEO (and ive dealt with all walks of life across my various jobs!!)

Apart from the fact that other people’s invisible thoughts have literally no impact on your life, nobody will be thinking about you hard enough or invested in you to enough extent to have any particular opinion on or interest in why you wear a piece of jewellery, let alone whether you’re “misrepresenting yourself.” It’s a really great realisation to be at: you just don’t matter all that much to any of the people you meet each day. If you like the jewellery, wear it.

Reads like AI to me which as we know is 'experimental'.

Oh dear. I actually found it quite helpful! Maybe I should have just asked Chat GTP. 😂