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Original poster

Not getting on with bf and it's his DC's birthday. WWYD?

73 replies

DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 06:54

My BF has been being a dick lately, I suspect this is the real him now the honeymoon period has worn off. Little things here and there, a barbed comment, starting to take issue with what I wear, how I look. Etc.

I'm not prepared to put up with that bollocks so I've backed off with the intention of ending things next week once something important is out of the way.

The problem is its his sons birthday on Sunday. He's having a party. My son is ofc invited and really wants to go (they are friends)

DS has no idea that things aren't working out between us and will be gutted if he can't go.

I will also feel unkind if I don't provide a card/present from DS as his DS knows us well by now.

Ugh.

What would you do?

Would I be unreasonable to do nothing and let the birthday pass? I fear I will be.

OP posts:
clarrylove · 16/05/2025 07:30

Let your child go but drop and run. Feign a headache or something.

Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 07:35

I don't think DS will be happy with me leaving him then collecting him later, there's going to be lots of people he doesn't know and I always stay for parties 😩

OP posts:
LizziesTwin · 16/05/2025 07:39

Tell him you’re sorry you have to do something (he doesn’t like) and go. He’s 10, he spends all day at school with lots of people.

Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 07:56

Not to drip feed but my DS has autism, the presentation formerly known as aspergers, so whilst he's "high functioning" he does have struggles and needs me to be on hand if there are lots of people / an unfamiliar environment.

I'm going to have to stick around.

I will do as suggested and make small talk with other parents.

OP posts:
Soyfinger · 16/05/2025 08:47

How long was the “honeymoon period”?

Loopytiles · 16/05/2025 08:57

Ah OK that makes sense, front it out then and make your plan for handling the break up.

Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 08:59

Soyfinger · 16/05/2025 08:47

How long was the “honeymoon period”?

About 10 months or so, until he got comfortable

OP posts:
tripleginandtonic · 16/05/2025 09:06

DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 07:35

I don't think DS will be happy with me leaving him then collecting him later, there's going to be lots of people he doesn't know and I always stay for parties 😩

At age 10 that's ridiculous. Since he knows soon to be ex boyfriend, even more reason to drop and go.

Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 09:27

tripleginandtonic · 16/05/2025 09:06

At age 10 that's ridiculous. Since he knows soon to be ex boyfriend, even more reason to drop and go.

Show quote history

You mustn't have seen my previous post, he's autistic. In normal circumstances I would agree with you.

OP posts:
Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 09:29

We haven't spoken in two days but I will send him a message tomorrow and say we will be there with his present etc. I'm not sure how he will respond to be fair. He was posting 'reminders' last night, I think to ascertain whether we are coming or not.

OP posts:
Tulipsontoast · 16/05/2025 09:31

I would go for the children’s sake and then end it.

Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 09:37

That's the plan now.

OP posts:
Pickingdates · 16/05/2025 09:40

OP, you can do the party for a bit.
But dump him monday morning.
Well done for seeing that he is a controlling arse who will only get much worse.
Well done for seeing the truth.

So many women don't until its too late.
Avoid him as much as possible and keep talking to others.
Get away from him.

Caroparo52 · 16/05/2025 09:47

Its not the dc fault. Buy a gift. Go to party. Then break up. By next year it will be sorted out.

Communitywebbing · 16/05/2025 10:47

Behave as though you and Stbx are casual friends and take DS to the party with a present. It will be hard for you but better than upsetting the boys.

Noodleit · 16/05/2025 14:08

DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 08:59

About 10 months or so, until he got comfortable

Show quote history

When did you introduce to children?

Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 14:19

Noodleit · 16/05/2025 14:08

When did you introduce to children?

Show quote history

They already knew each other.

OP posts:
Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 14:21

I text to let him know we'd be coming and apparently the party is cancelled, not that he had the decency to make those he invited aware.

All he was interested in was what the present was so he could make sure its not something he already has.

This is the man I cannot wait to be rid of, a selfish inconsiderate git.

Good riddance.

OP posts:
Noodleit · 16/05/2025 14:49

DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 14:21

I text to let him know we'd be coming and apparently the party is cancelled, not that he had the decency to make those he invited aware.

All he was interested in was what the present was so he could make sure its not something he already has.

This is the man I cannot wait to be rid of, a selfish inconsiderate git.

Good riddance.

His poor son

honestly op, pick better in future and don’t introduce your child until way beyond the exciting honeymoon phase has passed

Noodleit · 16/05/2025 14:50

DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 14:19

They already knew each other.

Show quote history

I meant introduce as in their parents were in a relationship

NotWorthTheHeadache · 16/05/2025 16:20

The party is cancelled? Why so? It seems really last minute to cancel a party and disappoint his son? Is it really cancelled or is he just telling you it’s cancelled?

Original poster
DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 17:52

NotWorthTheHeadache · 16/05/2025 16:20

The party is cancelled? Why so? It seems really last minute to cancel a party and disappoint his son? Is it really cancelled or is he just telling you it’s cancelled?

No idea to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised. He's flaky at best and at worst downright unreliable. He was meant to be booking a party at a trampoline park initially then said he wasn't doing that.

I'm about to block him across all channels but DS will be able to give him his card and present next week so he will know he wasn't forgotten about.

OP posts:
Rumbley · 16/05/2025 18:01

DaisyDaisyDaisyyy · 16/05/2025 14:21

I text to let him know we'd be coming and apparently the party is cancelled, not that he had the decency to make those he invited aware.

All he was interested in was what the present was so he could make sure its not something he already has.

This is the man I cannot wait to be rid of, a selfish inconsiderate git.

Good riddance.

This is so very strange

you mean to say that at this point you are him are supposedly still a couple?

Rumbley · 16/05/2025 18:02

His poor son

OP, I think a bit of a pause before leaping in to another relationship and this time you child doesn’t need to meet him until way beyond the novelty of honeymoon period has worn off

Rumbley · 16/05/2025 18:04

Possibly the party hasn’t been cancelled
but this is his way of uninviting you