Neighbour banging on wall - wwyd?

[Oneteee]

We have a 8 week old who isn't horrific at night but has the odd occasional wake up. I'm talking maybe two to three times. On a couple of incidents now our neighbour next door has banged on the wall when our baby cries/whines.

One was at 2am when I was at my wits end of my baby not settling and the other was at 9am when baby woke up and was just whining/stirring.

I'm livid and think we should say something. DH agrees it's annoying but isnt one for confrontation, DH's parents think we should apologise!!!

Wwyd, aibu in thinking it's common sense to know you can't control a baby. We don't leave our newborn to cry it out but DC cries. It's unavoidable and quite frankly being sleep deprived and a new mum it's the icing on the cake for my anger levels. Surely this "d"neighbour should be expected to control their reactions and how they respond.

Absolutely ridiculous. Next door's baby cried all the time. I wouldn't dream of banging on the wall. What do they expect you to do? Tell them to do one.

Thing is the neighbour may be at the end of their tether with your DC not setting too if they are being woken up as frequently as you are every night. Why should they be expected to control how they respond?

If they rent I would complain to their landlord. If they own I would probably seethe and ignore them. They'll either get fed up of banging, or get used to the cries. Either way, you go high.

Are you seriously asking why an ADULT should expected to control how they respond?
oh dear God

The neighbour is a dick

They can put in ear plugs etc since they don’t actually need to wake if baby wakes.

When they bang, I’d bang back. If you see them tell them how much you appreciate, and how comforting you find, the solidarity banging. Pretend you’re really glad knowing you’re not the only one up at that time.

I would ignore. Ignore ignore ignore

Next time they knock I’d loudly tell them to fuck right off

I'm sure that would calm the baby down

I’d post a pair of earplugs through the letterbox and bang back at every flush of the toilet or overly loud fart just to get revenge!
babies cry, the neighbour should know this, I’m sure you’d like a quiet night yourself
it’s bloody hard enough without worrying about the neighbour getting a good kip aswell 🙄

I'd be tempted to knock back. Bloody cheek of it.
Failing that I'd definitely be having a word saying that unfortunately at 8 weeks of age your baby isn't in full control if it's emotions and can't verbalise it's needs.
This is how a baby communicates and surely a fully grown adult is aware of this.

Yes, banging on a wall is a sure fire way to stop a baby from crying what a prick. Sorry you’re dealing with this. Congratulations on your baby.

The middle of the night, it's a baby - they are going to cry (as did the neighbours at one stage in their lives), and it won't be forever...

But they actually banged on the wall because of a crying baby at 9am?! Seriously?

Completely unreasonable of the neighbour. Even if they find it annoying, they should know enough to know this is a tiny baby, it's normal, and it will improve in time.

They are being unnecessarily passive aggressive.

Who is the neighbour anyway? A twatty teenage boy?

i’m sure it’s annoying for them but honestly what do they think banging is going to achieve?
Are you supposed to think “well I was really enjoying listening to that crying but now nextdoor have knocked, I suppose I better switch it off”?
it just makes the whole situation more stressful for you and babies can sense when we’re stressed and it makes it harder for us to settle them.
I must admit, I do agree with banging back. It basically says “I’m doing my best so pack it in gobshite”. Try not to let it upset you. Someone told me once to think of all the other mothers who were also awake nursing newborns and somehow it helped. You’re part of a new club now. And this stage will pass. And one day you’ll miss it, honestly.

That’s ridiculous of them. Is there any way you could limit the noise by having the baby sleep in a room that isn’t right next to theirs? Then when you inevitably meet them; you can tell them hand on heart that you have done your best To limit the noise (and that they need to stop banging and buy ear plugs!)

Go round and talk to them? X

I would be tempted to knock and say I am sorry if you can hear the baby through these thin walls, however please remember we were all babies that cried once in our lives and banging on the wall only risks distressing the baby or me more and the baby will pick up on that and cry more.

When we were going through a difficult sleep time with our 1st baby, we bought our neighbours some flowers and treats to generally appease the situation. They hadn’t actually complained at all. But we recognised the situation would be annoying for everyone. Just because it’s to be expected that a baby cries, doesn’t mean it’s not annoying or can be ignored.

Obviously your neighbour could be an areshole. Or maybe they are kinda normal and a conciliatory conversation or gesture might go a long way.

What would I do?

I'd go straight round there and tell them to stop banging on the effing wall.

I’d be tempted to bang the wall back in response. Perhaps to the tune of a song.

I’ve been the neighbour who could hear the crying baby, I’ve been the neighbour with the crying baby. When I was the latter, I was more grateful the baby wasn’t my problem than anything else!

Your neighbours are idiots.
It’s tempting to bang back, but then you’d wake baby, so I’d just ignore.

Are you suggesting that adults cannot control their emotions?

If they wanted silence, they need to go live elsewhere, a baby communicates their needs by crying, this baby is a newborn at 8 weeks old, they neighbours is in for a long ride!