Neighbour banging on wall - wwyd?

[Oneteee]

We have a 8 week old who isn't horrific at night but has the odd occasional wake up. I'm talking maybe two to three times. On a couple of incidents now our neighbour next door has banged on the wall when our baby cries/whines.

One was at 2am when I was at my wits end of my baby not settling and the other was at 9am when baby woke up and was just whining/stirring.

I'm livid and think we should say something. DH agrees it's annoying but isnt one for confrontation, DH's parents think we should apologise!!!

Wwyd, aibu in thinking it's common sense to know you can't control a baby. We don't leave our newborn to cry it out but DC cries. It's unavoidable and quite frankly being sleep deprived and a new mum it's the icing on the cake for my anger levels. Surely this "d"neighbour should be expected to control their reactions and how they respond.

I hate noise,loud music etc this is down to a neighbour we had for six years.
A baby crying isn't going to stop because of someone banging on a wall.Im sure the parents wish baby wasn't crying at 2am either.
I wouldn't apologise but would speak to them and if they got arsey would be told baby doesn't come with an off button.

Because there adults, maybe 🤔

So because there’s a new baby, grown adults should be banging on the wall? Who’s the adults and who’s the baby who is acting like an actual baby? 8 weeks old, you’re having a laugh being this dense

@PeapodMcgee a man in his early to mid twenties. Old enough to know better!

The irony is before DC was born, this not so dneighbour used to have a very obnoxiously loud apple alarm that would go off every morning at 8am and wake me up after finally being able to drop off to sleep from a night of pregnancy pain/sickness. Every. Single. Morning. And he would sleep through it. So in the end I just resulted in giving up and getting up. Never heard me banging on the walls about it!

So tell him that.

I think you need to go round and talk to him it’s alright everyone agreeing with you and calling him fit to burn
disturbed sleep is soul destroying but ultimately he’s probably on his knees with continuous broken sleep then have to still go to work and then at weekend still having broken sleep
he’ll go to bed anxious that he not going to get a nights sleep and be tired the next day
Yet still having to do a full days work

I’ve yet to find these mythical ear plugs that block everything out I’ve tried plenty but then also there the anxiety of not hearing your alarm and being late for work

talk to him acknowledging the problem can do a lot towards gaining a bit of understanding and tolerance

as for his alarm that ship had sailed if it was a problem you should of told him

Because they are adults and more capable of controlling their actions than an 8 week old baby, as well as being able to understand that this is what babies do, and banging on the wall will make no difference.

How exactly do they expect mum to shut up the baby?

If a neighbour had done this to me when I was sleep deprived with a newborn I guarantee that my reaction would have been so nuclear that they would have probably avoided me for the rest of our lives after that. They definitely wouldn’t have banged on the wall again.

Baby doesn’t understand what ‘fuck off’ means. They will be fine.

That's because you're a woman and just get in with it. He has to have his little bitch. Can't have a man feeling put out, can we.

Do you mean two or three times a night?

Blimey

Your neighbour shouldn't be banging on the wall. Babies cry. It's normal. However can I ask. Are you taking steps to minimise the noise for your neighbour? So for example, having the cot away from the adjacent wall? I had a neighbour once doing controlled crying where the cot was against the wall where my headboard was. The disturbed sleep every single night had me on my knees in the end. Earplugs didn't do much and I was resentful that it was impacting my life so much.

He’s going to love it when your DC is a toddler, running and jumping and shouting, as well as crying.
My DSs family had this problem with his neighbour when their little one was born. Footsteps, loud talking, almost anything would set off the thumping. This was in a semi-detached house not a flat.
Three years later they couldn’t stand it any more and moved.

I’d pop ear plugs through the door with a note saying you’re planning on having a large family so he might like to consider moving.

I would hate to live next door to a young family especially with babies, but it is a fact that babies cry. We moved onto an estate full of old people. They come with their own issues but are not noisy. There’s not much you can do about it. I would speak to them. Eventually your baby will start sleeping through, although of course there’s always noise when you live next door to a young family. It’s not your fault. You are doing your best.

Have you been round yet? Xx

Wtf so rude! Bang back - louder! Definitely don't be going round apologising or justifying yourself. It's a newborn baby! Wait until they have the decency to knock on.

You can't give people like that an inch otherwise they think they can rule you or have a say in how you go about your life.

Well 8am is not early so no real problem with that, why would a man in his twenties know any better? DB never even held a baby until he was around 33 when I handed over DS to him to hold while I was eating once. DB was terrified.

Wow he sounds entitled, having his little man-baby tantrums.
He doesn't know shit if he thinks banging on the wall at a baby crying is a. Appropriate and b.Going to achieve anything.

I certainly don't think you should apologise. For what? Babies cry, that's life. I've heard other people say they had neighbours who complained and I think that is appalling. I've never come across a baby yet who didn't cry sometimes, occasionally at length, and yours is only a few weeks old for goodness sakes.

Ignore them or, if they say anything, just tell them you can't stop your child from crying, it's normal, you do what you can to soothe but it isn't going to be forever.

Sheesh, some people.

The neighbour is being a d!ck.

My response would be to pop a gift on their doorstep with a note thanking them for their patience as you are settling into this new and challenging time in your life!

Kill with kindness…

Imstall sound proofing boards against the party wall so you don't have to deal with their shite behaviour. I've got noise neighbours and soundproofing boards has made my life bearable. You can buy them from most DIY stores like b&q and wicked.

Of course they should control their behaviour. Good grief.

This.

Oh what a dickhead he is!

Ignore him!