Is this too much to eat in a day?

[SENSummer]

I’ve lost all perspective. So many hormone triggered gastro issues since having my kids and my daily diet has gone out of the window. I feel nauseas a lot but regardless of what I do/don’t eat. I wake up early (5am) and finish eating for the day at 4/5pm.

Today I’ve had:

Small porridge with banana and oat milk

slice of toast

a small plain chocolate cupcake (homemade) & a Kit Kat chunky

a salmon fishcakes with a couple of new potatoes and garden peas

a digestive biscuit AND about 3/4 of a bag of twirl bites!

I’m done for the day now but honestly feel awful (and a bit sick at how much sweet stuff I’ve had)

I will caveat this by saying I’m rather slim and definitely in the ‘a few extra pounds wouldn’t hurt’ category and I’m pretty physically active.

wtf?

You're eating very little protein, fruit, and veg. You're eating too much sugar/ simple carbs.

You need eggs, lean protein, cheese/ yogurt, legumes, veg, and fruit.

OP, I feel like you need a hug. Do you have friends and/or family you could talk to about this at all?

Five years ago, I was so similar to how you're talking about and acting with food - I was trying to control my anxiety through controlling food. I also had physical issues that changed how I reacted to food and ended up completely skewing how I thought about it. And I didn't even have the added difficulties of children at the time, never mind one with severe SEND.

It is so easy, when life is challenging, to look to the aspects of life you can change, to try to regain a sense of control. But you've lost sense of your body as something to be nourished rather than just one component of life that you can keep in line.

Agree 100%.

You need some specialist advice. This is an eating disorder.

OP has given one day's intake of food. It would be very foolish to claim she is deficient in this, that or the other. "Desperately short of calcium" for example. How do you know what she had on the other days? It's is ONE day. Someone's nutritional intake should be taken over a number of days. It isn't essential to have every single vitamin or mineral from every single food group every single day.

Ha bloody ha.

You dont think a BMI of 16 is low for an adult woman, particularly a mother?

I came on to say exactly this, but in all likelihood much less eloquently than it’s been phrased here

This isn’t about food. The OP is underweight enough to have been ‘threatened’ with hospitalisation ffs!

OP - you need some support. I would advise being brutally honest with your GP and trying to get some help. Have a very unmumsnetty hug and try to be a bit kinder to yourself

That was to @notadrift. Course I dont know. But I think OP should go back to her GP.

It's not much. Try and have something between 6 and 8 in the evening.

You’re NOT disgusting and that is a dangerous mindset to get into - when you think like this your relationship with food and eating starts to break down.
It sounds to me like you’re not eating enough if you remove the sugar bits - if you had a bigger breakfast and dinner you might find you didn’t crave these things. It’s hard, hormones wrecked my eating too and it became very disordered. I have to force myself to have a decent breakfast otherwise it all goes wrong. If you find that you’re binging then speak to someone for support. X

Same here!

Half of it is not very nurturing or kind to your body, is it? A lot of sugar which is going to be hard for your body constantly releasing insulin etc.

Could you eat what your child eats for a week? Focus on quality over quantity and consider asking your GP for nutritional supplements. Far better to know everything going in is good for you.

I really don't want to be a dickhead here but if your son is on his trampoline all night then you absolutely have time to eat, unless you don't want to. Even if its just porridge with a different fruit or fishcakes with a different veg.

What is a "hormone triggered gastro issue" ?

Have you ever considered low carbs? I'd feel sick every evening too if I ate that much sugar over the course of a day.

Nuts, cheese, crudite, turkey or chicken, seeds, nut butter etc. might make you feel better.

Were the cupcakes for a special occasion?

Yes it is. There are clearly issues around eating and Mumsnet is the worse for advice around food.

I agree with the PP who said it sounds like you need a hug more than dietary advice. You said your husband works late and you have a younger child - I think a lot of people would have an afternoon dip and find reaching for the Kit Kats in that situation. I don't have ND children, but I did have HG and it's fucking awful, and I do think constant nausea and vomiting over a long period has an impact on your body.

On a more practical level, people react differently to foods. Despite popular wisdom, I'm always starving very quickly if I have porridge for breakfast. If I had porridge with oat milk and a banana, I'd be ravenous by 11, and I wonder if you're setting yourself up for a day of craving sugar by not having enough fat and protein at breakfast?

Do you get practical and emotional support from your husband? Any kind of peer support or friendships with people dealing with children with disabilities?

Be a bit careful with high fibre snacks if you have IBS/endo related digestive issues (it can exacerbate some of the symptoms).

As well as fibre you also want to increase protein and healthy fats as these will also help stabilize blood glucose, keep you feeling full and just because they’re an important part of your diet.

Your life seems busy and stressful so it’s probably not realistic to try and make massive changes to your diet (especially as you seem to already be preparing food for kids etc).

If you wanted to make some small changes you could try:

• Adding some peanut/almond butter to your porridge.

For healthy snacks with a good balance of slow release carbs, healthy fats, protein and fibre:

• Apple slices with peanut butter
• Cheese and oatcakes with a piece of fruit
• Greek yoghurt with fruit and nuts/seeds
• Carrot/cucumber/pepper sticks with hummus (it’s fine to buy the supermarket stuff even if most of your diet is UPF free, it’s better than eating a bag of chocolate because you’re starving).
• Mini ‘cupcake’ frittatas with veg/meat/cheese (I make these at the beginning of the week and grab them as a quick snack/meal when I’m too busy to cook).
• Banana and peanut butter ‘pancakes’. I have a weaning recipe that I use for my baby but we all eat the pancakes!
• Dried fruit and nuts/fruit and nut bars (these can be high in sugar but they also have a lot more nutrients than chocolate so still a worthwhile swap)
• Cottage cheese with berries, seeds and honey.
• I love tofu (I realize not everyone does and this also works with chicken) so I roast it in cubes with sesame oil and soy sauce and then keep it in the fridge to have with sriracha and cucumber slices.
• I also do a big tray of roasted veg cut into cubes (tomatoes, red onion, courgette, peppers, sweet potato/squash) and keep it in the fridge to have as a snack mixed with feta and olives.

The evenings sound really tough. Would it be possible for you to have something like a slice of toast with peanut butter/cream cheese and a banana or a smoothie with fruit/veggies and protein, even if you can’t manage a full meal.

From what you’ve said (especially re. your weight and BMI) you probably aren’t eating enough rather than too much. And you almost certainly aren’t eating enough of the right things.
With regards to UPFs I wouldn’t let perfect be the enemy of good. If you need a few fairly healthy but pre-prepared/processed options to ensure you eat then that’s fine (it’s better to have some soup from a carton, a cereal bar or premade hummus than skip a meal entirely).

You’re also not disgusting at all for eating too much chocolate when you’re tired/stressed/hungry but busy. It’s very normal and if you only do it occasionally then it won’t do any harm.

I had severe HG in pregnancy too (combined with gestational diabetes) and it really affected my relationship with food for a long time. Honestly, from your description I’d say that you probably need to eat more rather than less!

Wow!!! You are not disgusting! I am not UPF but will cook from scratch when I have time.

I'm astounded how much pressure us adults think they need to be under.

Jesus I eat most of the snacks in our snack drawer and I never ever share my chocolate.

I would feel a bit grim with so little fruit and vegetables. And I know we don’t need as much protein as we sometimes think we do-but there’s not much protein there. And not much fibre! I don’t think it’s too much-but I do think it’s not the right sort of food.

Does your husband need to work so late all the time? You have a child with extra needs, your life sounds stressful. If he can he really should be coming home so that between you you can both manage to have a nutritious evening meal while the children are also taken care of.

Hi OP, I know not what you asked but are you getting enough water? If you are so busy you don't manage to eat when DS is home from school I'm wondering if you're getting dehydrated.

Also, I wonder if you're having a bit of a sugar crash? I think maybe you're lagging in energy and maybe that's why you're having the chocolate?

I wonder if you could add a few low effort but nutritious snacks to keep your energy or blood sugar up?

I will admit I don't know anything about blood sugar really but in energy terms... If you can't eat in the evening could you have something like a big smoothie? Or even a big kefir drink or similar?

To me it kind of sounds like you're undereating, but making up for the calories with sugar, which isn't giving you the energy and nutrition you need. So I'd sort of say you might need to eat more of the good stuff, reduce chocolate and try and have a shake or smoothie later on even if you don't eat, and make sure you're getting enough to drink.

What’s a UPF?

Many people emphasise protein, which is probably good advice. But do not forget fibre.

So important in regards to digestion and blood sugar. And let’s not forget colon cancer…

Do you seriously think that telling somebody with a BMI of 18 that has been at 16 to drop two little potatoes and a banana is good advice?