To want some seats/benches out there in the world?

[dontcomeatme]

Want to start by saying I am so angry about this but I have no idea where to turn or what I can do. Or AIBU and need to let it go?
I have a 2YO DS and a 8 week old baby. We went to a family members yesterday, I don't drive so walked with doubly buggy. I try to fill my EBF baby up before the walk so he's settled but yesterday I clearly didn't give him enough and while walking he started banshee screaming. So I thought let's just find a seat, give toddler my phone with Disney+ for 20 mins (he's a runner I can't let him out of the pram safety on my own), and top the baby up. I walked for 15 minutes and could not find somewhere to sit anywhere. The whole time my baby is hysterical, I tried holding him but then couldn't push the pram. In the end I sat on the pavement and breastfed right there, in the middle of the street. 2 women walked past and checked I was okay, one of them said she has the same issue, recent hip replacement and would like to rest while walking but zero seat options. Not even in bus stops!!! I just think this is appalling. Since it happened I've been looking around all of the estates looking for rest areas and there are none?! Am I overreacting? I'm in the NE of England and feel like contacting the council or something but I have no idea what to expect.
YABU - Let it go it's probably a one off experience.
YANBU - There should be rest areas in the community.

It’s really not what the OP was asking about and a really shitty thing to focus on. If you want to start a thread about screen time, start one.

We also have a few benches dotted around our Yorkshire village. I'm pretty sure the parish council had a hand in these, but I know that a couple of them were funded by generous villagers.

I would ask your local Councillor for better facilities.

Look up 'Hostile Design'. Benches are removed or made slanting to discourage loitering- whether that's groups of kids or teens, street drinkers, or homeless people. These groups gather, people complain to the police and council, but if they aren't doing anything illegal nothing can be done. So they design benches to be less attractive for loitering in the first place.

Well, I'm sorry to hear your MP is shit.

It doesn't mean everyone else's is, so not sure why you find it so amusing.

I've had some very good results from contacting both of my last two MPs.

I hope you're voting for a different one next time then.

Quite right.

Tell me about it. As a disabled person,I get utterly sick of the lack of seating/benches in public places. I cannot walk very far due to osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis and frequently need to sit down and rest. That's if I can. My local high street is very hit and miss with public seating. We have one section of the high street (which is not pedestrianised) where there is a bench every 25 yards or so,but further down in the pedestrianised area,there is nothing. The shopping mall in my local town has only recently reinstated the benches after removing them when the pandemic started. And don't get me started on bus stops that have no seats. Thankfully the half dozen or so bus stops that I use regularly all have a bench,but occasionally I need to use a different one that hasn't. I get utterly exhausted having to stand for 15 minutes. Then usually getting elbowed aside by some able-bodied person so they can nab the last priority seat. But that's a whole different story. I've heard that one of the reasons a lot of councils don't provide public seating is because it sometimes encourages 'undesirables' to congregate around them,but I can't say I've ever witnessed this. Or they think they will be used by homeless people to sleep on. Which I don't see as a problem, and think that any reasonable person wouldn't either! I think public benches are going the same way as public toilets,i.e. becoming something of a rarity. Save our public benches,I say!

It's nearly all elderly people use them in our town . Thankfully there's a few available

I remember up until a few years ago a lot of the big department stores (of which a lot are no longer around) such as Debenhams,Littlewoods and Marks and Spencer had a couple of chairs in store, usually quite near the entrance doors. There would usually be a sign up saying 'We care with a chair'. But guess what? Without fail,every single time I thought I'd have a sit down,they were always taken, usually by young,able-bodied people. Ok,I know I'll get a pile on saying 'Not all disabilities are visible'. But I struggle to believe that these seats were taken EVERY single time by people with invisible disabilities!

I think most town centres do have outdoor seating scattered about, but YANBU to be annoyed that yours doesn't.

They're important not just for breastfeeding mums but also for people who can't get around much unless they can stop and rest, for whatever reason.

I will from now on but I've never found myself in that situation before so I was clearly unprepared.

@Cheepcheepcheepthat's exactly the situation I found myself in, and I couldn't agree more. Hellish. I felt homeless, which sounds very melodramatic but I looked and felt like I had no where to go !! I'm so sorry you went through that. The UK overall needs more rest areas, this thread is just highlighting how much it is needed !

@ScholesPandaI've never head of hostile design before, that's ridiculous. No wonder the bus stop seats around here are the worst things to "perch" on. You get zero support from them. Thank you for the info I want to include all of this in my email!

You don't have to justify yourself. You didn't ask for advice on entertaining your toddler.

My local Council has just removed virtually all the seating from our pedestrianised town centre.
It was apparently attracting anti social behaviour.
So now the elderly, disabled, young mums and those that just want a break have nowhere to sit, and the drug users sit in shop doorways.

They were all removed from our local town as they attracted anti social behaviour - street drinking, drug use & groups of kids etc. Same with public loos.
We have lots of cafes etc with outdoor seating & loos but it feels wrong that people have to pay just to sit or use a loo.