To expect the GP to get in touch following a terminal cancer diagnosis and hospital stay for my elderly dad!

Totallybannanas · 2025-05-15T11:43:41+00:00

We have not had any contact from the GP. I tried calling yesterday to request an update and to ask if the GP could call my dad—ideally to carry out a well-being check and potentially involve the district nursing team. I also need the GP to review and renew a prescription for an out-of-date cream, which the carers need to apply. Additionally, a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) form still needs to be completed, which I’m surprised wasn’t done while he was in hospital. When I spoke to the receptionist, I was told there were no available appointments and advised to call back at 8 AM the following day. I tried again but couldn’t get through. I’ve had to push hard with the hospital just to get the discharge reablement team involved so someone can check in on him, as he lives alone and I also have work commitments. His mental health has deteriorated significantly—he seems like a completely different person. He was once a fit and active 80-year-old, but now he is frail and mentally broken. I’m simply asking for more support and involvement from the medic al team. He is still mobile and independent, but he has lost confidence. He still has pain due having a oesophagus stent out in, but refusing pain relief. I'm not trained for all this.

Fumnudge · 15/05/2025 12:46

Can you contact them via their website or his NHS app and mark it as urgent (still keep trying via phone too)?

Ayeayeaye25 · 15/05/2025 12:47

Does your dads practice not do E consult if so that might be a way to go if not unfortunately you will have to get in line like everyone else and phone up at 8am. Its the same for everyone.

RaspberryButterJar0 · 15/05/2025 12:49

Phone NHS 111 & ask for advice

Pain, you need to ask on a scale of 1 to 10
10 being the highest

Original poster

Totallybannanas · 15/05/2025 12:51

The e consultant form seems to have a symptom check and another thing to do, before it allows me to do the e consultant form! It's making it difficult to actually access the form!

OP posts:

RaspberryButterJar0 · 15/05/2025 12:52

Can you take time off work to help your DD ?

Do you have neighbours or friends that can pop in to visit your DD ?

Or employ a cleaner that can also assist with other things

Apply for this for your DD, it is not means tested

www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

Attendance Allowance

Attendance Allowance helps with extra costs if you're State Pension age and disabled: rates, eligibility, claim form AA1, claiming due to a terminal illness.

http://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

Original poster

Totallybannanas · 15/05/2025 12:55

RaspberryButterJar0 · 15/05/2025 12:52

Can you take time off work to help your DD ?

Do you have neighbours or friends that can pop in to visit your DD ?

Or employ a cleaner that can also assist with other things

Apply for this for your DD, it is not means tested

www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

I have taken time off and managed to get age UK involved and a carer from the reablement team. But it has been exhausting, fighting, calling and form filling as well as being at the hospital, then getting his place ready. There are so many issues to deal with like noisy neighbours, I have stayed every night this week and they have blasted their TV until 2 am everyday. Luckily dad is deaf and sleeps in the back but I've had no sleep and I exhausted.

OP posts:

user3879208717 · 15/05/2025 12:58

It seems to be the same everywhere - I need an appointment for a medication review and the repeat prescription stopped until this has happened. The e-consult sent me a link to book an appointment but it just constantly says no appointments available try again later. I’ve done this twice now as the link only lasts 6 days. I have one week of drugs left, what I’m supposed to do when they run out I don’t know! How we laughed when the politician on the news was saying how many more GP appointments are available now…

In your case OP its obviously much more serious and time critical. Do the carers have any suggestions? Could you contact your local hospice? They are a lifeline for many. Or 101, see what they say. It’s really not good enough and I’m sorry you are in this position.

Dramatic · 15/05/2025 13:00

Gosh I'm sorry OP, these things shouldn't be so hard when you're in a situation like that.

I would try the E consult again, just put in any old symptom to get through to the actual form and then you can write a message detailing what you actually need from them.

kiwiane · 15/05/2025 13:06

It’s unbelievably poor and whilst this could be down to the receptionist it does show a lack of support when you need them.
Inwould raise a complaint and if you have any numbers for the District Nurse service or any Council Therapy / social services I would call them for advice.

Rainbow1235 · 15/05/2025 13:17

i Could have written this myself . My dad almost 81 has osofegus cancer and had a stent put in and I feel we were sent home with no care plan in place just leaving us to deal with it . I also sleep at dad’s every nite . I had enough yesterday and insisted st David’s nursed get involved so they are coming Monday .be firm with them as your dad and yourself needs the help . My father relys on fortisip drinks and got the prescription yest and gave us just 4 . It’s a joke I was fuming 😤

RaspberryButterJar0 · 15/05/2025 13:19

I have been in your situation, so I symthasize

BTW You can fill in a form to get regular prescriptions delivered to your DDad by local your pharmacy.
Reorder via phone or Internet

My local doctors has been full & people have been complaining that they cannot get an appointment. This is why some people end up going straight to A&E

Todaywasbetter · 15/05/2025 13:19

Totallybannanas · 15/05/2025 12:51

The e consultant form seems to have a symptom check and another thing to do, before it allows me to do the e consultant form! It's making it difficult to actually access the form!

that happenned to me once - my concern just didnt fit in - so i just ticked other boxes and explained why further down - I still got my appointment.

is there a macmillan service nearby? or there phone support is good too can speak to a nurse or a counsellor

RaspberryButterJar0 · 15/05/2025 13:20

08088080000 Macmillan open 8 to 8

atata · 15/05/2025 13:21

Having experienced this with FIL, now dead, the GP had absolutely no shits to give.

Tvp123 · 15/05/2025 13:32

Do you have a local hospice you can call for advice? He should have been referred to a hospice as soon as he became terminal. Hopefully they can help with the process and get in touch with the GP. If not, try contacting MacMillan for help. Also, if there is a local Facebook page for his area it might be worth asking for advice on there as to what others have done in the same situation.

The GP needs to prescribe an emergency pain kit that he should have at his house. I'm also surprised your dad was discharged so easily without occupational health checking everything was set up for him.

I think we must have won the postcode lottery when my Dad died in the middle of covid, as could not fault the palliative care he received one bit. Our GP surgery even had a special number for us to call so we didn't have to wait in the queue.

Ayeayeaye25 · 15/05/2025 13:53

Totallybannanas · 15/05/2025 12:51

The e consultant form seems to have a symptom check and another thing to do, before it allows me to do the e consultant form! It's making it difficult to actually access the form!

It’s an absolute frustrating nightmare, the system is totally broken and at breaking point but it is the only system we have unless you go private.

We have had similar awful struggles and experiences and you really have to fight to be heard.

If you were at the same medical practice you could go about the strain on your mental health.

If they have been recently released from hospital the carers are better and they have links with supervisors, social services and other NHS Teams otherwise unfortunately you are on your own.

You could call reception if you can get through and ask to either be put through to the practice manager or if they can give you the email address.

Original poster

Totallybannanas · 15/05/2025 16:20

Tvp123 · 15/05/2025 13:32

Do you have a local hospice you can call for advice? He should have been referred to a hospice as soon as he became terminal. Hopefully they can help with the process and get in touch with the GP. If not, try contacting MacMillan for help. Also, if there is a local Facebook page for his area it might be worth asking for advice on there as to what others have done in the same situation.

The GP needs to prescribe an emergency pain kit that he should have at his house. I'm also surprised your dad was discharged so easily without occupational health checking everything was set up for him.

I think we must have won the postcode lottery when my Dad died in the middle of covid, as could not fault the palliative care he received one bit. Our GP surgery even had a special number for us to call so we didn't have to wait in the queue.

I will try the hospice. They won't refer us unless a medical professional refers us. I'm just exhausted, ringing and chasing, as well as being there for dad, staying the night and cooking his meals and also running my own home.

OP posts:

RebelliousHoping · 15/05/2025 17:47

I’m so sorry how very terrible, I thought hospital discharges are a priority to GP’s.

Bet my folks are going to be proved right, reckon we’re going to pay I didn’t get out of here yesterday in front of a consultant. 🤦‍♀️

CurbsideProphet · 15/05/2025 17:54

@Totallybannanas in your situation I would get the email address from the website for the Practice Manager and contact them to say how concerned you are that your dad has been discharged from hospital with a diagnosis of terminal cancer, but you cannot arrange a appointment for him to ensure all of the necessary prescriptions / support are in place.
I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope you get everything in place soon.

Almostwelsh · 15/05/2025 18:05

I have found in the past that when thwarted by GP systems an old fashioned written letter addressed to a GP by name and hand delivered to the surgery can yield results.

mumda · 15/05/2025 18:09

Almostwelsh · 15/05/2025 18:05

I have found in the past that when thwarted by GP systems an old fashioned written letter addressed to a GP by name and hand delivered to the surgery can yield results.

Edited

I've faxed a GP in the past.

I'll suggest speaking to the practice manager when they tell you there's no appointments.
It's not acceptable for them to bat you away.

If I could send you strength I would but I'll send you my kindest thoughts instead@Totallybannanas

Endofyear · 15/05/2025 18:45

We have 2 elderly neighbours with no family who have recently been discharged from hospital - one after an operation for bladder cancer and one after a hip operation. There is no care in place for them at all. One of them has red swollen legs, my DH took him to the GP and she gave him steroid cream which he is unable to reach to apply it. So now I'm going in morning and evening for the next ten days to do it for him. He has a wound from his operation, no district nurse has been out to clean or redress it. Honestly, it feels like the NHS is on it's knees and people are just being left to their own devices, unable to look after themselves 😔

Original poster

Totallybannanas · 16/05/2025 01:39

Rainbow1235 · 15/05/2025 13:17

i Could have written this myself . My dad almost 81 has osofegus cancer and had a stent put in and I feel we were sent home with no care plan in place just leaving us to deal with it . I also sleep at dad’s every nite . I had enough yesterday and insisted st David’s nursed get involved so they are coming Monday .be firm with them as your dad and yourself needs the help . My father relys on fortisip drinks and got the prescription yest and gave us just 4 . It’s a joke I was fuming 😤

Rainbow I am sorry sorry you are going through this. I took can't believe they send you home with no care plan. I've spent the 4th night here, but I am exhausted to be honest and just want to sleep in my own bed. I know I will feel guilty though and probably won't sleep because that. I feel really trapped.

OP posts:

Original poster

Totallybannanas · 16/05/2025 01:55

Endofyear · 15/05/2025 18:45

We have 2 elderly neighbours with no family who have recently been discharged from hospital - one after an operation for bladder cancer and one after a hip operation. There is no care in place for them at all. One of them has red swollen legs, my DH took him to the GP and she gave him steroid cream which he is unable to reach to apply it. So now I'm going in morning and evening for the next ten days to do it for him. He has a wound from his operation, no district nurse has been out to clean or redress it. Honestly, it feels like the NHS is on it's knees and people are just being left to their own devices, unable to look after themselves 😔

Absolutely awful 😔

OP posts:

kittensinthekitchen · 16/05/2025 02:45

Have you tried reaching out to McMillan for advice and support? They must see this every day and might be able to help